


Insurance

by Cj_Quinn72



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU obviously, Angel Dean Winchester, Angel Wings, Angel gender stuff, Angst, Because they are a family, Blood, Castiel's True Form, Dean Deserves to be Happy, Dean Sammy and Jo were all raised together, Dean Winchester Doesn't know how to cope, Dean decides he's having none of this shit, Demon Sam Winchester, Dissociation?, Dream flirting, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone here needs to stop trying to make Dean and Jimmy get back together, FLUFF ALL AROUND, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff for everyone!, Gay Sex, Genderqueer Dean Winchester, I may have a surprise about Mary Winchester at some point in the future?, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester is a massive meanie, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mind Control, Minor Injuries, More info later, Rough Sex, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Smut, So much angst in later chapters, Trueform!Balthazar, Trueform!Ezekiel, Trueform!Gabriel, Trueform!Samadiriel, Wing Grooming, Wing Kink, Wing related pain, angel!dean, college!Sam, cute cute babies, dean winchester needs a hug, demon!Sam, m/m - Freeform, owies, preening, trueform!Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:16:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 49,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cj_Quinn72/pseuds/Cj_Quinn72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cuz Sammy wasn’t a freak, so what made him one? Nothin. So he did what he always did when he was confused. He learned. He researched the hell outta everything that fit his description, and then some. But what he found was just too unbelievable. No. No way he was… that! No! They didn’t even exist! Did they? Well if the downstairs existed why wouldn’t the upstairs? So that was it. Dean was part angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay! Thank you for giving Kudos and commenting! Thank you! Really! This is the extended prologue! You don’t have to do anything for this one. I will be posting the first chapter soon as I am able. But I have to warn you…. I am erratic in my updating times and I would hate to make you think I’d forgotten you but I do have a lot on my plate at the moment. So! First time readers either comment or give Kudos! Alright? Cool!

                                                                                Prologue

Dean hadn’t really told anyone else. Cuz really? Who’d believe him anyway? No one. And if they did they’d probably kill him.

Cuz he’s a freak. He just knows it. That has to be why can do all this weird stuff that Sammy can’t. Like that one time when he was seven he set a garbage can on fire when he was mad. Or that time he heard Dad thinking about how much he missed Mom when he was ten. Even that time when he was 14 he was sad about a fight with Sammy over something stupid and Dean had made it rain….. Inside.

Definitely freak material there.

 And in his line of work? Freaks get ganked. So he kept his mouth shut.

But when Sammy is 11 and starts have weird shit happen to him too…. He wonders.

What if he isn’t a freak?

Cuz Sammy wasn’t a freak, so what made him one? Nothin’.

Right. But there was one thing he had Sammy didn’t. Something that kept demons from possessing him.

And other Hunters might get spooked if they found out he was immune to demons. Because demons had tried before, and it came to them burning up before his eyes. He’d never tell anyone that.

There was that something that he could always feel just behind him.

Something warm.

His biggest secret.

So he did what he always did when he was confused. He learned.

He researched the hell outta everything that fit his description, and then some.

But what he found was just too unbelievable.

No way he was… That! No! They didn’t even exist!

Did they?

Well if the downstairs existed why wouldn’t the upstairs?

So that was it.

Dean was part angel.

But it didn’t seem like Sammy was one too.

Dean looked into that too. Just in case he needed to defend his little brother. But what he found made him want to cry.

Sammy, his little brother. The one he had sworn to protect with his life….

His brother was half demon.

But Mom and Dad were both human. Of that he was sure. Sure Mom had told him Angels were watching over him, but he’d never thought Angels were _real_!

Demons yeah…. But this was too much.

Then something new happened, Sammy got pneumonia once on a winter hunt in Wisconsin when Dean was 17. Dad had sent them back to the hotel room but told Dean not to take him to a hospital. That would just raise questions they couldn’t answer.

Dean had been so worried he was crying. Of course Sammy was unconscious so he hadn’t seen. But Dean had touched his brother’s sweaty forehead to move his hair and….. Suddenly Sammy wasn’t hot and clammy. He wasn’t pale and he was breathing normally.

Dean almost lost his mind.

He didn’t tell Dad, but he wanted to.

He was losing his mind keeping this secret.

So he started doing something he’d never thought he’d do. He started praying. At first to his Mom, but then to anyone who would listen.

He told about his gifts and how scared he was that people would find out. But also he told about how he was worried about Sammy.

He never said any of this out loud. But he thought it loudly before he fell asleep.

At first it was hard to get the words out. Like when he was drunk, all the words slurred and messed up.

But eventually he could enunciate and articulate what he wanted to say.

One night someone responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a patreon.... I'm painfully broke.... you don't have to... but it'd be really nice.  
> https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was pulling my shirt over my head when I heard Sammy whine in his sleep. I padded softly over to his bed and ran my fingers through his hair soothingly. Just the touch calmed Sammy and I didn’t even need to quiet his mind like I normally did.  
> I smiled down at my sleeping brother, “Sleep well.”  
> I settled back in my chair to keep searching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Omg it's been a while, huh? Sorry my friends! Here is the next chapter for all of you. I really hope you like it! Please don't forget to leave a review! They make me smile and update faster. I read all your reviews, though sometimes I forget to respond..... *Shame face* I will have more asap! I swear it will be sooner than this update.......... *Even more shame* ENJOY!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h

I sighed, face resting on my book. I was too damn _tired_ for this shit!

I’d been researching it all friggin night and what had I found? Squat!

I shifted restlessly in my chair and huffed.

“Hey, Sammy I’m gunna hit the hay. I’m pooped.” I was hoping my annoying little brother would let me sleep.

Sam lifted his odd eyes from the page of his own book to glare at me, “Dean, this was _your_ idea. So we are going to find out what this is and kill it before Dad gets back, so I can do my homework.”

I groaned but pushed my nose back into the book. I really did try to stay awake but the next thing I knew I was dreaming about puppies and pie.

It was one of my nicer dreams. Usually I dreamed of fire and running. Sometimes Sammy, sometimes Dad.

And within a heartbeat that was what was happening.

I was just about to get swallowed up by the flames when Sammy shook me awake. He was distressed, “Dean! You were just having another nightmare! You’re fine!”

I tried not show my disbelief. Sammy was just trying to be reassuring. I knew that.

So why did it feel like he was outright lying?

“Maybe you should try sleeping in a bed for once.” Sammy sighed turning to sit down. He looked me over suspiciously.

I shuddered. No way I could go back to sleep right now.

“Nah. You go ahead, Sammy. I’ll just take a shower and keep searching. Okay?” I got up and walked to the bathroom before he could answer.

 

                Once the door was closed I tried to relax, it was just another nightmare.

I repeated that to myself more than a few times. But it didn’t do anything but remind me of the nightmare. So I let myself shake as I stripped out of my clothes. As the water hit my shoulders I wanted to cry. I almost did but then I scolded myself.

“Come on man! You’re 19, not some dumb kid! You’re a Winchester! A Hunter! And Winchesters are strong damn it!”

I took my shower as quickly as I could and wrapped a towel around my waist before heading out into the main room to get dressed.

I was pulling my shirt over my head when I heard Sammy whine in his sleep. I padded softly over to his bed and ran my fingers through his hair soothingly. Just the touch calmed Sammy and I didn’t even need to quiet his mind like I normally did. 

I smiled down at my sleeping brother, “Sleep well.”

I settled back in my chair to keep searching.

                Bone tired. That’s what I was when I finally crawled into my bed. I’d found out what we need to know and written down everything we’d need.

Now I was just gunna rest my eyes an hour or two before sunrise. I glanced over to check on Sammy, he was still sleeping peacefully.

Good. Soothing Sammy’s nightmares tired me out. But I always made sure Sammy was comfortable before I so much as sneezed.

And Sammy had so many more nightmares than I did. But as far as he knew he’d never had one. I closed my eyes and sighed.

Not for the first time I prayed. For both Sammy and myself, but more for Sammy.

:Please. If you can hear me…. Make sure my brother will be safe. Especially if something happens to me. Please don’t let anyone find out what he is. Not even him. I-I know I always ask for that…. But I’m just refreshing…. In case there is someone new listening.:

Tonight I decided to add something a little more personal as well.

:Please. Answer me? I’m starting to think I’m crazy. So- If anyone is there….. Hey.”

For a minute I waited, tensed and a little excited. But when nothing happened I sagged into the mattress, “I really am crazy.”

No sooner had I whispered that than a voice poured into my head like warm honey.

:Hello Dean.:


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I paused and glanced over at Sammy, sleeping just four three feet from me. Had I really done that? But he’s my little brother! I nodded to myself.  
> :Sammy’s my little brother. He wouldn’t mind, we share everything anyway.: I tried not to sound defensive, but I wasn’t sure if it worked.  
> There was another pause then, :You are right, Samuel does enjoy having you touch him so intimately.:  
> I choked on my own spit and responded in a rush, :Please, please, please tell me that you don’t mean what it sound like you mean!:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot Woot! An update for my lovelies! Please don't forget to review!

My eyes snapped open and I damn near fell outta bed. There was a voice in my head.

 The voice wasn’t girly, but it didn’t exactly sound like a guy either. It was more like as passing storm cloud. Musical in a way, yet still powerful and promising trouble.

And it was disturbingly familiar.

:Have- Have I heard you before?: I asked, instantly I felt stupid for asking a voice in my head if I’d heard it before. But it answered all the same.

:Yes. Sometimes you have bad dreams and I sooth them. You seem to like it when I speak to you, though I am sure you don’t remember any of what I’ve told you.: The voice seemed rather comfortable talking to me and I shivered.

“Holy shit. I’m insane.” I whispered to myself staring at the ceiling. Then I frowned.

:Wait you’ve been in my head? The hell, Dude? Don’t cha think that’s a little personal?: I was suddenly self conscious at the idea that someone had been poking around in my head and I pulled the blankets up unconsciously.

There was a long pause that made me wonder if they were ever there then,

:No. You are baring your very _soul_ just by speaking like this. It is ‘a little personal’ to go around flashing your soul to anyone and anything that might see or hear you.: The voice sounded mildly annoyed like they were stating the obvious.

Then they snarkily added, :Besides you do the same thing to your brother every time you calm _his_ mind.:

I paused and glanced over at Sammy, sleeping just four three feet from me. Had I really done that? But he’s my little brother! I nodded to myself.

:Sammy’s my little brother. He wouldn’t mind, we share everything anyway.: I tried not to sound defensive, but I wasn’t sure if it worked.

There was another pause then, :You are right, Samuel does enjoy having you touch him so intimately.:

I choked on my own spit and responded in a rush, :Please, please, please tell me that you don’t mean what it sound like you mean!:

Another pause then a sort of throat clearing noise, :No. I did not mean your brother craves your sexual attentions. I meant he subconsciously knows you stop his bad dreams and he likes that. You on the other hand……:

I froze. My eye twitched, :I do _not_ wanna screw Sammy!:

The voice responded in a way that felt like laughter, :No. But you do seem to respond strangely to my soothing you.:

I felt my face heat, :W-What?! What the fuck does that mean?!:

Slowly a warm feeling, like what followed me, settled all around me. But it was so much warmer and I sighed, relaxing into the bed.

It almost felt like cuddling.

The voice spoke again, this time it seemed much closer, and it seemed to be whispering.

:You seem to appreciate this in a different way than your brother  appreciates your soothing.:

I shivered and cleared my throat, :Right. Well….. I have a few questions but now that I know you’ll talk to me I’ll just ask one. What’s your name?:

Almost an hour passed and I was almost asleep when they responded.

:I-I am not sure how to convey it verbally, but _this_ …. Is how my name is said.:

A warm feeling that felt like humming tingled in my mind and I tried it out, but it caught in my head and came out like a sigh.

The voice laughed, :I suppose that is close enough. One of my siblings calls me something similar to that.:

I smiled still blushing as the warm cuddle feeling was still surrounding me.

:Good night, Buddy.: I sighed, closing my eyes.

The response was whispered fondly, :Good night, Dean.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! THERE IS NO PLEASES ONLY ZUUL!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I blinked in surprise and shook my head, “No idea…. Maybe the AC kicked on for a moment?” Damn, I was a bad liar considering it was my job!  
> Sammy glanced at me, I could see he was unsure and I made a face, “Dude, you sure you got enough sleep?”  
> He frowned and huffed, “Yeah! But you gotta admit that was…. Weird!”  
> I shrugged shoulders tight, warmth close to my back. Sammy threw his hands up and glared, “Fine, I’m gunna go take a shower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! I KNOW I SAID "THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS" BUT I AM I FILTHY LIAR! *Sigh* I've been horribly busy and I haven't had a chance to move this chapter from my notebook to my laptop! Yuck! So here is the next chapter! I make no promises about when I'll update next as that is not a good idea and I hate being an Oathbreaker! No.  
> So yeah! Here is the next chapter!  
> Next one should have John, angst and Dean having weird dreams about his angel friend. ;D  
> I love you guys! Don't forget to review! That really does remind me more than me writing on my calendar -_-* IF I GET A LOT OF REVIEWS I UPDATE FASTER!
> 
> Ah! Almost forgot! This is the knife mentioned in this chapter.  
> http://assets.academy.com/mgen/45/10052345.jpg?is=500,500

_Fffwft!_

A pillow smushed into my face and I was on my feet before I was even conscious. Sammy glared at me from the edge of his bed.

“Dean, it’s like 2:38pm! How late did you stay up?” He sounded pissed and I had to wonder if he was just hungry.

I stepped around the bed towards the kitchenette and tucked away my favorite knife. It was one Sammy had picked off a dude in a bar. He gave it to me for my 14th birthday, said he saw it and thought I’d like it.

It was beautiful and ironic. I was glad Sammy had nicked it. It was a Winchester Burl Wood Hunting knife.

Sammy said the joke was it was that it was a Burly Hunting Winchester, like me. Not the best joke but I still loved it.

Sammy took a deep breath and I could hear him about ask again, “Sammy, I dunno how late I was up. But I’m awake now. And I’m gunna make some breakfast, okay?”

Sammy sighed, “Dean, it’s lunch time.” I glanced over my shoulder to see him reading the notes I’d taken last night.

I smiled and opened the cooler, “Well then I’ll make us some lunch, then we’ll go gank this thing and you can do your homework!”

Sammy sighed, “Whatever, Dean.” Then after a moment, “Can we have Pancakes?”

I laughed, “Of course baby bro! Whatever you want.” I _felt_ him glare at my back and grinned down at our kitchen supplies. I hadn’t woken this happy in a long time.

The warmth behind me fluttered a bit and I paused. That didn’t usually happen….. Something told me _I’d_ caused the movement, and I wanted to try it again. So I tried for a small stretch and –

**_FFFLLUUP!!_ **

A strong breeze fluttered all the papers in the room and knocked over a chair.

“The heck was that?!” Sammy was on his feet when I turned around, I forced the warmth as _close_ to me as it would get.

I blinked in surprise and shook my head, “No idea…. Maybe the AC kicked on for a moment?” _Damn_ , I was a bad liar considering it was my _job_!

Sammy glanced at me, I could see he was unsure and I made a face, “Dude, you sure _you_ got enough sleep?”

He frowned and huffed, “ _Yeah_! But you gotta admit that was…. Weird!”

I shrugged shoulders tight, warmth close to my back. Sammy threw his hands up and glared, “Fine, I’m gunna go take a shower.”

I relaxed as soon as the bathroom door closed and I felt the warmth droop down to sprawl on the floor.

Slowly, cautiously, I glanced over my shoulder. Bright wings, seemingly made of glass were sprawled out behind me. “No way.”

I stared a little more, then I called out to my friend. :Uh, hey, Buddy. I was wondering if you were uh…. Free…. To talk….:

I slowly continued to mix the pancake batter as the small hot plate warmed up.

I’d made three pancakes when I got a response. :Dean. Is everything alright? You never Pray during the day.:

I glanced at the colorful translucent feathers…. My wings.

:Umm….. I dunno, actually. I have- wings?: There was hardly a pause before a response came,

:Yes, and they are lovely. Can _you_ see them?:

I blushed fiercely then cleared my throat trying to glare at the batter. Lovely?

:Yeah, I can see them. How- Long have they been there?:

A laugh, :How long have you been alive? You got the first glimmer of wings when you were an hour old. And you lost your down and got your pen feathers when you were 15. But it seems it’s taken you four years to recognize them.:

I wasn’t really feeling anything when my angel spoke. I was simply looking. I’d lifted one wing to look at it closer than before.

They were kinda awesome. Each feather looked like a perfectly cut piece of Amber glass. Some were darker like old coke bottles but others, towards the edges, were a light whiskey color.

:No way these are mine.: I whispered, but I  knew they were, the same way I knew my hands were mine.

:Dean…. Who else would they belong to? They are attached to your very soul.:

I snorted as I turned off the hot plate, :Dude, I wasn’t serious. I know that they are mine. I was just saying….. Well they’re just too…. _Nice_ to be mine. Ya know?:

There was an angry silence that followed, making me feel almost guilty for saying something like that to an angel.

After a few minutes I was done with my pancakes, Sammy was almost outta the shower and I was sitting cross legged on my bed.

I was slowly moving my wings, stretching and bending. I was trying to see what my full range of motion was. And it was even more awesome than I first thought, they could pass through solid objects!

Sam was about to open the bathroom door, I could feel it, so I folded _my_ wings behind me as if I’d been doing  it my whole life. (Which I very well may have been doing!)

“Hey, foods on the table. I’m already done and ready to go. Whenever you’re ready, Sammy.”

He ‘Hmm’ed and pulled on clean-ish clothes. We were gunna have to do laundry soon. Maybe tomorrow if this hunt went well, then we hustle some pool and get some food money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I opened the door and nudged Sammy to get a response as I cleared the main room. Sammy nodded and yawned, “Kay, I’m gunna shower again. Then sleep.” I chuckled, “You do that.” I cleared the bathroom and relaxed. I pulled off my jacket and tried to clean the goop off of it with a wet rag. “The hell kinda monster explodes into goo when it dies? Damn! Shoulda worn a fricken rain coat!” I resolved to soak it in the small sink until tomorrow when we do laundry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said Dean would have a fun dream in this chapter (If you read comments you would know I said that) but I am moving that to next chapter.... Just because. But there is a littl bit of snuggles.  
> OKAY SO I PROMIS AT LEAST ONE MORE CHAPTER BEFORE HALLOWEEN KAY?!  
> Also I know John probably isn't like this but this is how I see the... mean guy.... 
> 
>  
> 
> Love you guys! Thanks for all the reviews, you guys are the best! keep 'em coming!

“That wasn’t so bad, eh Sammy?” I bumped my shoulder against his in an effort to cheer him up.

“Ewww! Dean! You’re just getting more goo on me! And it was pretty bad! There wasn’t just one- There was three!”

I winced pulling my wings closer to try and block out the guilt. Thank…. My friend- that the extra two had attacked me, not Sammy.

Sammy didn’t have wings to block with. Sammy couldn’t incinerate them with a little bit of focus.

I was also glad Sammy had been too distracted by the goo all over him to see either of those things happen.

“Hey, Dean? Can we do laundry soon? All my clothes are gross.”

I smiled at Sammy’s goopy frown. “Yeah, I was thinking laundry tomorrow morning, then  a little bit of hustling to get some cash for food, yeah?”

I opened the door and nudged Sammy to get a response as I cleared the main room.

Sammy nodded and yawned, “Kay, I’m gunna shower again. Then sleep.”

I chuckled, “You do that.” I cleared the bathroom and relaxed. I pulled off my jacket and tried to clean the goop off of it with a wet rag.

“The hell kinda monster explodes into goo when it dies? Damn! Shoulda worn a fricken _rain_ coat!” I resolved to soak it in the small sink until tomorrow when we do laundry.

I heard Sammy turn on the faucet then the showerhead kicked on. I sighed and slowly spread my wings.

A few of my glass like feathers were broken, and several more were bent funny. It felt awful.

 _Worse_ than that time I sprained my wrist. I sent a quick nudge to my friend to get their attention then pulled off my gross shirt to put it in the sink.

:Hello, Dean. How did your hunt go?:

I smiled, :Alright, I mean there were two more than we expected…. But they attacked me , not Sammy, so that’s good. Hey, I have a question about my wings.:

I sat down at the table and took apart my hand gun while I waited for an answer.

:Dean. I am sad to learn you still feel so poorly about yourself. Why don’t you try and protect yourself _as well_ as Sam? Being glad you were in danger is not good, Dean.:

I frowned and paused cleaning the guns guts. :First of all I’m not glad I was in danger. I would just rather _I_ was in danger than Sammy. Ya know?:

The pause seemed almost like a frustrated eye roll so I continued on, :Do you have any younger siblings? Anyone you want to protect? Even if it means _you_ are in danger?:

Now the silence just seemed like pouting. I knew I’d won this one.

:So….. about my wings….:

The door opened quickly and I aimed the now clean gun at the intruder.

For a moment I couldn’t breathe, “Hey Dad. How’ve ya been?”

He swayed and glared at me before growling, “Lower your gun, Dean. I’m not in the mood for this.”

I took a deep breath, “Dad, I dunno if you’re you yet. And Sammy’s not safe yet… So- No.” I really hoped he wasn’t as drunk as he seemed or there would be hell to pay for that back talk.

“So check me and be done with it boy. I’m tired.”

I took my silver knife out of my boot and pressed the flat against his arm. He snarled and snatched the knife out of my hand, “The hell was that? You’re supposed to _cut_ the skin to test!”

But if I had you’d be pissed.

“Sorry, Dad. I was just thinkin-“  He shook his head, “No. You weren’t.” he grabbed my arm and pressed the blade to my bare forearm.

I almost winced but knew better. “D’you  see, Dean?”

He dropped my arm and tossed the knife on the table. He moved past me and I walked closer to the door to close it.

“Where’s your brother?”

I swallowed hard, “Sammy’s in the shower. He should be out soon. We had a pretty messy hunt today and he got covered in go-“

The familiar feel of my dad’s large hand clamping down on the back of my neck made me regret everything. Ever.

“ _You_ , took your brother on a _hunt_? You’re a _child_! What if he’d gotten _hurt_? _Huh?!_ You never think, boy.”

The water turned off and his hand released me, “Clean up your mess before you worry your brother.” I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath before doing just that.

I wrapped my arm and clean up the drops that had hit the floor before pulling on a long sleeved green shirt to hide the bandage.

Sammy stepped out of the bathroom and froze, “He, Dad. Glad you’re back. We movin’ on?” Dad smiled and nodded, “Yep. Pack up, Sam. We are leaving as soon as you boys are packed.”

My wings ached and the drying goo itched but I started packing instantly.

 

The car ride to Bobby’s was awkward.

Dad had told me to sit in back as punishment, but I knew that wouldn’t be it.

It never was.

So I tried to get some sleep, after all it was almost eight forty pm anyway.

But as soon as I closed my eyes I realized….. I could feel my buddy….

Right next to me, cuddling with their wings.

Up until then they’d maintained their distance, but now my angel was trying to make sure I was alright.

“It’s fine, Buddy. Happens all the time. I just wish you hadn’t had to see that.:

They didn’t bother with words, just sent pure emotions straight to my center and hummed.

 It wasn’t long before I fell asleep. But there were no nightmares. Not even any regular dreams, just rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew what he thought, but I couldn’t tell him the truth, nor could I say anything in front of Dad. So I cleared my throat and walked towards the stairs. Bobby kept rooms for the three of us just in case we needed a place to stay for a while. Dad often left us with Bobby for a week or more. And almost every time we stopped here, Dad would leave us. I flopped down on my bed and groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have discovered if you listen to this fic in google translate you cannot help but laugh...... seriously. XD  
> Okay so here is that dream I promised! Yes! Wing touching and dream-scaping! Mmmmm  
> Hehehe nit sure when the next one will be up as I haven't written a single word of it yet......... Yeah...... sorry. But hey this hsould hold you over for a bit right?  
> PLEASE REVIEW IT ENCOURAGES ME AND BRINGS ME JOY!!!!!!! <3
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h

I woke when the engine stopped, and for a moment I panicked because my angel wasn’t there. Then they nudged at the back of my mind to reassure me and I sagged in relief.

“Dean, lets go. The sun will be up soon and we’re tired!” Dad’s voice jolted the calm right outta me. I grabbed my bag and got out as quick as I could.

Dad was already at the door being tested by Bobby when I closed my door. Sammy was waiting for me half way between the car and the house.

My entire back _ached_ , across my shoulders as well. And the longer the monster goo stayed on me the more it _burned._

So when Bobby gave me a friendly pat on the back, as I passed, I yelped.

Everyone focused on me instantly. Bobby and Sammy with concern, Dad with contempt and disapproval.

I cleared my throat, “Sorry, Bobby…. Musta slept funny.” I rolled my shoulders and smiled. Bobby just nodded slowly eyes narrowing and sliding to Dad with a look of disgust.

I knew what he thought, but I couldn’t tell him the truth, nor could I say anything in front of Dad.

So I cleared my throat and walked towards the stairs.

Bobby kept rooms for the three of us just in case we needed a place to stay for a while. Dad often left us with Bobby for a week or more.

And almost every time we stopped here, Dad would leave us.

I flopped down on my bed and groaned.

:Buddy? That question from earlier? It was about my feathers. Do broken ones grow back?:

Not a heartbeat passed before they responded, :Dean, why would you have broken feathers? Are you alright?:

I smiled, “Yeah, don’t worry I’m fine. I broke ‘em in that hunt. Blocked an attack with ‘em before I could even thinking about it! But uh…. It’s not too comfortable and I dunno how to fix ‘em…:

A sigh of relief then, :Dean. Go to sleep. I will meet you in your dream and preen them.:

I paused, that sounded ….. :Uh…. What do you mean? Can’t you just tell me what to do?:

A wave of mildly frustrated amusement came before  their response,

:No, Dean. I’m sure there are feathers you can’t reach. Besides… Don’t you wanna see me?:

I blushed mildly and cleared my throat, :Uh… Alright. Umm…. So I just go to sleep and you come to me?:

A sort of emotional nod, but no words.

I sighed and changed into my pj’s before crawling under the blankets. When I woke up I was gunna take the _longest, hottest_ shower of my life.

I got comfy and relaxed a bit, not a moment later I fell asleep.

 

I opened my eyes and found myself on a lake shore. The sky was a light orange and the air was warm.

I felt the air stir and turned to find….

Well-

I wasn’t exactly sure what.

A form of glowing mist, in the vague shape of a person. But it appeared to have no gender. And had three heads, four arms, and four immense wings with- _eyes, every where_!

The whole body was seemingly colorless, yet also blue. Every shade imaginable- and then some.

A familiar hum sounded from it and I found my knees weak, :Hello, Dean.:

I took deep breaths but I seemed to run out of air all the same.

:Y-You’re……: I held my breath, :You’re amazing. Really. Buddy, you’re the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!:

Laughter seemed to expand from them in a wave making me smile. An unbidden thought escaped me,

:Beautiful.:

We both froze instantly.

The mist body of my angel rippled and swirled in what felt and looked like a blush.

I cleared my throat and uncomfortably glance around us. :So…. Umm….. Do all angels look like you?:

A pause, like clearing their throat, :Somewhat. The number of wings is different as with faces, colors, arms….. Actually no. We are all unique in _some_ way.:

I took a deep breath to try and calm down, my head was spinning, :About my wings?:

I moved them slightly, keeping them low yet open so they could see the feathers.

:Oh! Dean! How did you manage to hurt yourself so badly in so little time?:

Four misty blue “hands” spun me around and began carefully removing the broken feathers.

Each feather I lost hurt more than anything I’d ever felt before. They must have removed almost _25_ feathers by the time they were done plucking.

I hardly noticed the tears on my face. I _certainly_ didn’t notice the fact that I was shaking violently.

For a moment they didn’t say or do anything. Then, :Dean.:

I felt those odd “hands” brushing along my wings and gasped. Two hands moved to gently pet through my hair while the other two slowly worked to put all my feathers in order and gently straighten bent feathers.

I groaned at the amazing feeling of being preened. It was like a hot shower, a  massage, and the good feeling of a full stomach all at once.

I found my wings curving upwards the more they worked and I sighed. 

They brushed something at the juncture of my wings and back and I lit up like there was lightening in my veins.

The air was pulled from my lungs and every feather fluffed to stand out. I could feel the sensation right down to what seemed a cellular level.

My eyes snapped open and-

But I hadn’t closed my eyes…..

I glanced at my wings to see- eyes. Just like on my angel. But green and gold.

I looked up from my wing-eyes to see all three heads of my angel facing me as well as their wing-eyes looking at me.

:Dean-:

A wave of emotions, both mine and not mine, coursed through me and I was pulled out of….. Where ever we had been.

I slammed into consciousness with a soft moan and a load of cum in my pants.

For a minute I didn’t move aside from my heavy breathing and random twitching. Then I managed to blink.

I totally got off from my angel preening my wings.

My wings that had _eyes_ on them!

I tried re-opening them, to see what I could see with them but they seemed too heavy.

I licked my lips and decided I needed a damn shower.

An image/feeling of ethereal hands touching me came to mind and another wave of lightening poured through my body.

Yep. Shower time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the reason this is so late is I was waiting for reviews..... Well I got one 5 days ago...... Seeing as it was NaNoWriMo I held of til this month. So! From now on I will update the first of the month (at the very least) and then if I get a chapter done between the 1st and the next I will update.
> 
>  
> 
> This chapy is not long and in NO way happy. But I am not sorry, this need to happen in order for the rest of my devious plot to work.  
> Please review and tell me what you think, or had for breakfast, or your pets name. Something.

It was hardly seven AM, so I tried to be quiet, sneaking to and from the bathroom. My thoughts of a hot shower were instantly dismissed, in favor of the most _frigid_ shower I could get. Even so I found it difficult not to touch.

Once I was clean and dresses I decided to get out and get some air, breathing room, space to have a panic attack in.

As soon as I got a good distance from Bobby’s house and his cars I allowed myself to freak out. My breathing came in shallow pants, whining slightly with the intensity of my fear. I’d let my angel _jack me off_ ….. In a _dream_ …… By preening my _wings_!

Which just so happened to have fricken _eyes_ on them! I’d lost my goddamn _mind_! Tears came to my eyes and I tried not to let them out.

I was crazy. Dad was gunna have me locked up. And there was _no way_ they would believe anything I said in a place like that.

I dropped down in the tall grass and sobbed, fear making me wanna puke.

How could I _ever_ have thought _I_ was part _angel_?!

And _how_ could I have _ever_ thought _Sammy_ was _any_ kind of _demon_!? Sammy was nothing but _good_!

I wasn’t gunna able to see Sammy once Dad locked me up in the first loony bin he could find.

Dad wouldn’t let Sammy anywhere _near_ me once he found out I was bat-shit crazy.

I covered my face with my hands and tucked my face into my knees. No way ! I _needed_ Sammy!

I couldn’t let that happen!.....

I felt my wings start to wrap around me. I jumped to my feet and bent them so I could see them and pulled out my knife.

If I didn’t have these….. if they weren’t there……

“Not real. Not real. Not real.” I told myself. Trying to  stop my fear that they might be real.

I reached out my hand to grab my wing bone and adjusted the grip on my knife.

I couldn’t breathe. Tears cut my face and a high pitched noise rang in my ears. It kinda sounded like my name, but I ignored it.

I was going to cut the crazy out of me, or die trying. Dying was better than never seeing Sammy again.

:Dean! _Stop_!:

I shook my head and spoke with both voices “: You’re not real. Neither are my….. Wings. So if I cut them off I won’t be crazy anymore. And if I am- then I’m too far gone to save.:”

I took a deep breath and raised the knife.

: _DEAN! WAIT!_ How will Sam feel if you _kill_ yourself?! He’ll be stuck with your father! Do you _want_ that?!:

I paused. This was going to kill me? I frowned, “:Just a voice in my head.:” but I didn’t move.

:Dean- I can help you! I’ll put a block in yours and Sam’s minds. I’ll keep you both from knowing what you are! It’ll suppress your powers as well! Juts…. Please don’t…. Don’t do this! _PLEASE!_ :”

I took a deep  breath, “:If you can do that before I stab _then go ahead_!:” I closed my eyes, screamed and stabbed down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the day off so........ I caught you a delicious bass......... Nah I wrote this! 
> 
> So I am going to be updating the tags but that is for the next chapter...... chapter 9...... you excited?....... yeah me too 
> 
>  
> 
> LETS PLAY A GAME! Pick a number between 1 and 100. The winner will have themself placed in the fic with one line to whomever they wish! Exciting! (Can you tell I really want reviews? They don't even have to be about the fic! Hahahahaha *crying*)

I woke up in my bed, clean and in clean clothes. I frowned, hadn’t I gone to sleep covered in goo?

I got up and gathered the gross sheets and my clothes. I filed my laundry bin and padded into Sammy’s room to collect his clothes as well.

Then I took it all down to the basement and sorted it into two piles, ‘kinda gross’ and ‘dear god what is that thing’. I washed the kinda gross first and went back up stairs to the kitchen.

The kitchen was oddly stocked with everything from sandwich finxins to beer to left over casseroles and dead man’s blood.

I found a full cartoon of eggs and floated them to check if they were good. Two of them floated to the surface so I threw those out the kitchen window.

I scrambled the other ten with various seasonings and then made toast out of the bread that would have gone fuzzy soon otherwise.

Shuffling through the cupboard I found a container of coffee beans and set to work making coffee. The sound of grinding beans woke everyone else and they slowly trickled down stairs to get some. Bobby first, then Sammy, and finally Dad.

I had already ate while they were getting up, so I went back down to the basement to finish the first load of laundry while they ate.

I got the really gross pile into the washer and set it to soak with extra soap and window cleaner to get the blood out.

While they were soaking I went up to my room to read a few more chapters of Escape from New York by Mike McQuay. I loved it. Not all the books I read were like that but every now and then it was nice.

On my way back down to the basement Body stopped me. “Hey, kid. How’s the back?”

I wiggled my shoulders to show I was fine, “Good!”

He nodded slowly, “Did you really just sleep funny?”

My smile faded and I looked around for Dad. “Nah. I didn’t want to tell Dad, but when I was on a hunt last night with Sammy I got slammed against the wall. I didn’t want Dad to know because he would just tell me that I was endangering Sammy. _And_ I wasn’t looking for any sympathy from anyone.”

Bobby looked at me for a long time then pulled me into a hug before heading towards the door.

I ran the washer then went to find Sammy. He was doing homework from the school in the last town. But we weren’t going back and there was no reason to do it.

“Hey, Sammy. What cha doin that stuff for? You don’t go there anymore.” I said sitting on his bed, which was unmade, and started straightening out the blankets.

Sammy sighed, little shoulders slumping, “Cuz I wanna. I _like_ school, Dean! I wanna _learn_ things! And I don’t care if all these never get corrected by anyone- I’m trying.”

I stilled and looked at his desk. It was covered in papers from every school we’d left behind. I got up, “I’ll leave you to it then, Sammy. Good luck.”

I decided to drive back to the town we’d been in and hustle a bit of money for food like I had planned for the day originally. I took an old pickup truck of Bobby’s and went.

 

I got back after dark, with several bags of groceries and a few medical books for Sammy.

Since Dad had left the Impala to me when I was 17 He’d been driving an old 1970 black ‘Cuda, which he normally left with Bobby when we with him.

The ‘Cuda was gone when I got out of the truck and hauled the bags inside. Life was better when Dad wasn’t with us, and I hated myself for thinking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had a really bad couple days and figured you guys might have been having a bad couple a days too. So I finally typed this up....... My notebook has been sitting on my desk waiting to be typed for..... a week now (I am a procrastinator!).  
> I ahve the next half of chapter nine ready but I only have so much engery today so I'm going to spend the rest of it eating everything I can and crying.  
> PLEASE ENJOY THIS CHAPTER FRAGMENT!  
> You can still pick a number until the second half of chapter 9 is posted then I will either announce the winner (or if no one picked my number I will list the number that have been called but are not it and continue...... forever)!  
> Thank you all for reading and reviewing it means so much ot me. It really does.

Hands stroked through my hair, my head rested on their lap, and there was singing.

:My fault…… Sorry, Dean…… They told me you weren’t ready…… But you were so scared for your sanity…… I’m sorry….. I’ll be watching over you……. I promise.:

I didn’t open my eyes, I didn’t want to.

I was safe, warm and happy.

A thought escaped me in response to their sadness.

:Don’t worry. You’ve been taking care of me for _so_ long, longer than I can remember. I’m not mad, I’m happy.:

I opened my eyes and saw such-

_Blue_

-that I woke.

 

I was sitting in my bed, alone. I couldn’t remember any of my dream except _blue_.

“Weird ass dream.” I muttered getting out of bed. While getting dressed all I could think about was that _blue_.

Even five hours later I was think of the blue. Sammy was in his room reading the medical books I got him and Bobby was working.

Dad had taken off almost three weeks ago and we hadn’t heard from him since. We weren’t worried though. The longest Dad had left us with Bobby for was two years. At least….. Since Mom died. I frowned at the unhappy memories swirling in my mind.

I sighed and trudged outside to find Bobby. He was elbow deep in his old pickup when I found him. “Hey Bobby…. Need any help?”

Bobby didn’t even look up, “You finished all your books huh? Nope. You’ll have to find something else. I’ve got this.”

I slumped where I stood and heaved a sigh, “Uggggh! Bobby!”

The older Hunter turned to give me an annoyed look, “What you whining about, boy? It’s not like you’re stuck here! You have that car…. And  a _real_ license if you remember last year. So….. Go! Find more books, or a bar, or –hell- both! Just don’t _whine_ at me!”

I blinked in surprise completely forgotten the Impala and the drivers license I’d spent last summer getting. I’d only gotten it because I was bored. Dad made sure we knew how to drive at 10 and that we had fake licenses at 11.

Sammy had one too but he preferred to either read or sing during car trips. He didn’t really love driving the way I did.

“Okay! Sorry, Bobby! I’ll be back….. Tomorrow at the latest!”

I knew just what to do in town. It was Bobby’s turn to groan, “Dean- Why can’t you just go to the library, get some books to read and come back?”

I bit my lip, “You’re right Bobby I could always pick up someone with my books and bring all my loot home with me!” I smirked and Bobby shook his head, “Nope, No one night stands or second date sleepovers at my house, Dean. See you tomorrow. Don’t get arrested!”

I grinned and went inside to grab the keys and say goodbye to Sammy. I was out of the driveway 10 minutes later. I even knew the bar to stop at.

There was one on the far side of town right next to a motel, it was frequented by people passing through and people looking for people passing through.

I parked in front of the motel and tried not to rush into the bar. They were playing rock and the whole bar seemed to be fishing themed.

First thing I did was look for familiar faces. When I didn’t see any I happily seated myself at the bar and got a beer with my fake ID claiming I was 23.

Making use of a few Hunter tricks I was able to check out a good majority of the room. Reflective surfaces, peripheral vision and good old fashioned head swiveling gave me two options.

A hot blonde woman three or four stools to my left and-

I pushed all my Dad’s hate and homophobia out of my mind and focused on the _gorgeous_ brunette man one empty stool to my right. I was considering just taking the safe route and going with the woman…..

But I’d been _needing_ a good roll with a guy for the past seven months! And this guy…… Damn!

Thick dark hair cut short but long enough to hold onto. Strong, lightly stubbled jaw and his _mouth_. _Damn!_

Yep I _really_ hoped I didn’t strike out with this one!

Scooting  onto the stool next to him I cleared my throat and smiled, ‘Hi there. I’m Dean. Where are you from?”

He looked at me with wide eyes that sucked the air outta my lungs and damn near made me whine. His eyes were so blue I couldn’t breathe.

“I’m umm James. I’m from Illinois. Are you a local, Dean?”

I had to clear my throat to clear my throat before I spoke or I’d whine for sure. Even his _voice_ was amazing, smooth, low, and musical.

“I’m from Kansas  actually. My little brother and I are staying with our Uncle.”

He nodded and I licked my lips, “James is a little….. Formal. Don’t cha think?”

I was flirting as carefully as I could and it seemed to be working because he hadn’t taken those blue eyes off me since he put ‘em, there and goddamn did I wanna kiss him!

He smiled shyly, “you can call me whatever you like, Dean.”

I really liked the way he said my name. Like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I ate an entire pineapple........ I got soooooo much energy I clean the house took a shower made dinner and typed this up. Aren't you guys lucky? Two updates in one day! Yahoo! So ummm........ this is all porn. Enjoy!

I glanced around, “I know we haven’t know each other more than a minute but do you wanna get outta here?”

Jimmy let a slow smirk creep onto his face, “How old are you, Dean?”

I paused, truth or lie……. Truth or lie. Jimmy bit his _amazing_ lip and I settled on truth.

“19. But my birthday is in a few months….. You?”

Jimmy was looking me over like a predator and I _loved_ it. “I’m 23. Yeah, let’s go, Dean. I’ve got a room next door.”

I chugged my beer and stood up to follow him. _God_ even his _ass_ was perfect! By the time we got to his room I was semi-hard and desperate.

He locked the door and slammed me against it, perfect mouth pressed to mine, hands holding my face, hips rocking gently against mine.

I whined at the attack and returned his enthusiasm. My arms went around his back, one gripping his shirt between his shoulder blades the other slipping into his back pocket.

He chuckled against my mouth and nipped at my bottom lip until I opened my mouth to return the favor and rocked my hips harder against his. He hissed and dragged me to the bed.

“Strip. Now.” He growled. I was naked faster than I had thought possible, Jimmy was a moment later too.

He pushed me onto my back and I scooted up the bed and pulled his wrist as I went. He settled over me and just looked at me for a moment before kissing me even harder.

His hand, the one that wasn’t holding him up, was mapping my skin. He brushed my nipple and I gasped into his mouth, hips shifting in anticipation.

He was carefully keeping his erection to himself so I turned my mouth from his to take shallow breaths. He didn’t stop kissing me however and his mouth trailed down my jaw to my neck where he littered little kisses and bites.

My _need_ was growing with every little nip and I moved three fingers into my mouth. I was gunna be ready when he stopped teasing. As soon as the first finger was in my ass I groaned making Jimmy pause, “What are-“

He caught sight of my hand moving behind my balls and his mouth hung open. I knew what he was feeling. I felt the same when a woman fingered herself for me.

Mouth dry, breathing heavy, body shaking and cock so hard it hurt.

“What’s amatter, Jimmy boy? See something you like?” He swallowed and licked those amazing lips as I added a second finger.

“Add another. Now.” He growled and I panted slipping the third finger into my excited ass. My hips wouldn’t hold still and I couldn’t keep the small noises quiet.

“Damn it. You are _so_ fucking _hot_ , Dean!” He breathed, hand stoking his cock as he watch me. I whined in response and bit my lip, “You want this want this hole, Jimmy? Come and get it.”

Jimmy groaned squeezing the base of his cock and breathing heavy. “Hands and knees, Dean.”

I groaned as I pulled my fingers out of my ass and quickly settled on my hands and knees. Not seeing Jimmy made it difficult to guess what he was doing so when he pressed his tongue into my ass and began to eat me out I choked on a scream.

I would have let him eat me as long as he wanted but- “ _Jimmy-_ please! _Fuck_ me! Please, please _fuck_ my ass!”

He groaned into my ass, gave one final lick and sat up. “You want me that bad, Dean? You think you could come without your cock being touched, Baby?”

I cried into the pillow and laughed weakly. “That was the plan the whole time, Jimmy. I don’t _need_ you to jack me, just _fuck_ me!”

He breathed unsteadily for a moment then I heard him dig around in a bag, a cap popped, I shook when the bed dipped and a hand close around my hip. Without a word of warning he pressed his cock into my ass easily.

He was the biggest I’d ever taken but I still took him fine. I sobbed at the hot full feeling of him in my ass and groaned out, “Move.”

But he stayed still, so I rose up onto just my knees so his front was pressed to my back and slowly began fucking myself on his cock.

“Oh, Dean! Where have you been all my life?”

I exhaled sharply, “Fucking myself with my fingers every chance I got. Come on man, don’t make me do _all_ the work!” I panted and kissed him over my shoulder.

He snapped out of whatever trance he was in and slammed his hips forward knocking me back onto my hands and knees.

“Oh! Damn! _Yes!_ ” I cried rocking back to meet his rough thrusts. His hands were so tight on my hips I knew they would leave bruises and that only made it so much _better_! “Oh yes! Mark me up, Jimmy! Fuck me! I don’t wanna be able to _walk_ tomorrow!”

He changed the angle slightly, getting sloppy as he got close. “Want me to cum in your ass, Dean? Want me to fucking cum in that ass? Want me to bite you so hard you bleed? _Hmmm?_ ”

He brushed my sweet spot and I couldn’t breathe, “Yeah! Yeah! Fuckin do it! Sink your teeth in the back of my neck and cream my ass! Mmmmm!”

Jimmy laughed breathlessly, fucking ruthlessly into me. My arms gave out and Jimmy followed my torso down. His breath at the back of my neck, the friction in my ass and pounding of my prostate was too much.

He sank his teeth into my neck and I came _hard_ , with a broken scream. He followed shortly after. The feel of his cum in me caused a second jet of cum to be forced out of me with a weak cry.

 Even then he didn’t pull out, but circled his hips and continued to thrust carefully into my ass, ripping yet another orgasm out of my wrecked body.

I felt him slip out of me and kiss my shoulder before I passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MURRR CRAYS MAZ! HAVE AN UPDATE

I woke with Jimmy spooning me. I could see the sun rising past the curtains. He nibbled at the bite mark he’d left and rocked his hips against my ass. I knew I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. And I sure as hell wasn’t gunna walk out to the Impala with a spring in my step.

After the third go round Jimmy took a shower and went out to get us some breakfast. I took a shower and changed the sheets with a clean set from the closet.

Then I spotted the bible in his bag. I shouldn’t have even still been there, yet I found myself curious about him.

I opened the cover to find it was one of those “personal” bibles, the ones with your name in it.

James Novak.

I smiled, then realized Jimmy had it in his bag…… He traveled with it?

He must be really devout. My smile faded and I was left holding the bible frowning at it when Jimmy returned.

“I got burgers! _Bacon_ cheese burgers!”

I half smiled, “Nice!”

He paused when he saw his bible in my hands, “You….”

I took a deep breath and put it back in his bag, “Sorry. Not my bag, not my boyfriend, not my business.”

He cleared his throat, “’I’m not- I don’t-“ He sighed and continued, “I would like to be…. Friends.”

I started to smile then cleared my throat and stopped it, “Sexy friends?”

He laughed, “Yes. Do you have a phone I could reach you at?”

I paused sorting through the various numbers I used. Only one would be alright to give Jimmy, and that was Bobby’s home phone number.  

I rattled it off then bit my lip, “When- When you call? Ask for Dean Winchester. Tell whoever answers….. That you met me on a hunt.” I blushed at the code for a hookup then realized Dad answered the phone sometimes.

“Ummm…. Unless it’s my dad….. John. Then you tell him I helped you and you’re gunna need me to help out again. Okay?”

Jimmy didn’t look sure but he nodded and smiled, “So….. What about my bible made you look so put out?”

I looked down at my burger and took a huge bite so I could phrase this as inoffensively as possible. When my mouth was empty I told the burger, “Blind faith bothers me. Believing in some…. All powerful, all knowing guy up in the clouds…… Believing all this stuff you’ve never seen or had any proof of….. It’s idiotic and…. Dangerous.”

I took another huge bite and kept my eyes on the food so I wouldn’t have to look at the mess I’d made of my new sexy-friendly-relationship. After the bite was gone I glanced up and saw Jimmy slowly eating his burger, watching me like I was amazing.

I blushed and hurriedly finished my burger. When I looked up again Jimmy was smiling at me like I was the sun.

“Dude, why are you looking at me like that?” I grumbled, embarrassed with his show of emotion.

He shook his head, “You’re an Angel.”

I frowned and straightened up, “No such thing. Demons and monsters _yeah_! But all that Angels and God crap is a lie.”

He smiled even brighter, “Whatever you say, Dean.”

I gulped as he stood and began walking towards me. I was sitting on the bed still so I was much lower than him. Until he rested a knee on  either side of my hips and kissed me.

As he kissed me he settled his hands over my shoulder blades in a way that made my breath catch.

“I wish you didn’t have to go, Dean.” He whispered into my hair, hands still pressed over my shoulder blades. I shook from the touch and from the fear I had because the touch.

“J-Jimmy? What are you _doing_ to me?!” Tears were collecting in my eyes, was he some kind of monster? Why was his touch there so…. Stimulating?

He leaned back to look at me and looked upset over my reaction, “Oh, Dean! I’m sorry! It’s alright! I won’t hurt you.”

He held my head to his chest and I could hear his heart beat as he petted my hair. Eventually I was calm enough to gently push him away.

“I-I Should probably get going before my Uncle comes to find me guns blazing.”

Jimmy sighed and ruffled his hair before smirking at me, “Wish I could fuck you one more time before you go. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

All the air left my lungs and a blush heated my face, “Where in Illinois are you from, Jimmy?”

He smiled slowly, “Pontiac.” Then without a word of warning he pulled me into a dizzying kiss.

As soon as our lips separated he whispered his phone number to me. I repeated it and kissed him again. Letting go of him and walking to the door was more difficult than it should have been. I made it to the door before he spoke again, “Don’t forget me, Dean Winchester.”

I smiled over my shoulder and opened the door. Before I closed it between us responded, “I could never forget _you._ Stay safe, James Novak. Don’t forget _me._ ”

Once the door was closed I dropped my smile and closed my eyes. I was probably going to _have to_ forget James Novak, for his safety. Not for the first time I wished I was normal, like him. I didn’t really know him, but I _wanted_ to.

I just hoped Dad never found out about him, or he would destroy everything good in my life. After all…. No son of John Winchester was….. Whatever I was.

No, sir.

I drove the Impala back to Bobby’s in silence trying to remain calm, trying not to think about how bad things could be if Dad knew _any_ of my secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically all dialogue but I felt my babies need to talk. I WONT BE POSTING AGAIN TIL NEXT YEAR HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA  
> Not that funny sorry.  
> Next chapter is Dean's birthday! Joy! Baby's turning 20! Squee!  
> Enjoy this talky chapy!  
> Please don't forget to reivew!

The phone was ringing like crazy. Dad had gotten back an hour or so earlier, and everyone was asleep. I was on the couch reading the final chapter of Escape from New York.

I snatched up the phone and kept my voice snarky and low, “Singer residence.”

There was a low chuckle that was vaguely familiar then, “Is that your Uncle’s name?”

The realization of who was on the line made my mouth go dry, “Hey, Jimmy. What’s up man?”

I leaned on the wall next to the phone, smiling because he _called_ me!

“Eh, well you didn’t call me so…. I figured I should call you. It’s been a few days…. How are things?”

I blushed then cleared my throat, “Oh….. Things are….. Things. Ya know? My dad came back from his business trip today…. So I won’t…. Be here to take your calls for a while…. How are things with you?”

He ‘hmm’ed and sighed, “How long is a while? And things are fine. I’m back in Pontiac.”

I quietly pulled a chair closer to the phone. “I dunno how long. Dad doesn’t really like staying in one place for long. Even his work requires travel. So…. I’ll have to call you when I got the chance.”

There was a pause, “Can you talk now? Or do you need to go?”

I smiled, “Nah man, everyone is sleeping. We can talk.”

He sighed, “Alright. So.... I know next to nothing about you….. What….. What are some of your hobbies?”

I couldn’t stop smiling. “Well I like reading, and fixing cars, I can cook pretty good….. I sing sometimes. What about you?”

He ‘hmm’ed again and paused, “I also like to read. I like the outdoors. I cook too and I also bake. I’ve been known to sing but I prefer to play piano…. You can blame wrong notes on the tuning.”

I laughed and he continued, “I also like puzzles. What do you do for a living?”

I paused, what could I even say? I hunt? I travel? It would have to be something that couldn’t be disproven by asking the wrong person.

“Dean?”

I jumped and responded as quickly as I could, “I-I help people. I-I travel around the country and help people.”

After a pause he said, “That sounds nice.”

I winced, “Yeah…. So what do you do?” I hoped it wasn’t something related to religion.

“I um…. I’m a line cook at a restaurant in town.” After a pause he added, “Don’t laugh.”

I cleared my throat, “No! No way! That-That sounds nice. I think I’d rather have _your_ job.”

He laughed, “And I’d rather have _yours_!”

I snorted, “No. It’s not as nice as it sounds.”

He sighed, “So you have a brother, a father and an uncle…. Is that your entire family?”

I opened and closed my mouth for a moment then took a deep breath and whispered, “At the moment yeah. I mean I’ve got an aunt and a couple cousins but…. Yeah.”

Line was silent long enough that I wondered if he’d hung up, then, “I’m sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have asked such an invasive question. And over the phone! I’m sorry.”

I smiled, “Thanks, Jimmy. What about you? Do you have anyone?”

He cleared his throat again, “I was raised by my grandparents but I had a few cousins. I never saw them much but they would stay with us on and off for weeks at a time. I never knew my parents but I had my grandparents and that was enough for me.”

I nodded then realized he couldn’t see me, “Yeah, I understand. I mean we booth lost parts of our family and we’d love to have em back but…. We can’t so we just…. Carry on.”

After almost a minute of shared silence I sighed, “Well. It’s late. So….”

He ‘hmm’ed once more and said, “It was good to talk to you, Dean.”

I nodded again, “Yeah it was. Well ummm….. Good night, Jimmy.”

I stood and he responded, “Good night, Angel.” Then the line went dead.

I paused, why did he call me Angel? He’d done something similar during our “God” conversation. He’d said I was an Angel then too.

Why’d he keep callin me that?

I hung the phone back in its cradle and put the chair back before grabbing my book and turning out the lights. I crept up stairs and into my room. I closed the door behind me and changed into my Pj’s.

As I lay in my bed in the dark I wondered if I could do it. Live a normal life, with a boyfriend or girlfriend in some normal town sharing a house and going to work every day.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook off the idea. I was raised a Hunter. I’d read the paper one morning see an obvious article and not be able to ignore it.

Once a Hunter always a Hunter.  Til the day you die. Which could be any second of any day.

And with that _happy_ thought I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! I know I may have told some of you that I would have it up around the second week of January but obviously I'M A HORRIBLE LYING LIAR WHO LIES! OTL  
> So sorry! Sorry sorry sorry! And this isn't even a very good chapter. Mostly Dean being excited and thinking and some fluff. The next chapter should have more plotty plot and such. But I am not gunna say when that will be up by. Beacuse I don't want to disappoint you my lovies! Not again!  
> So enjoy this small bit until I can finish the next one! I love you all! Don't forget to leave a review telling me how made you are at the lastness of this! <3

I

It was my 20th birthday in two days and for once Dad said I could take a sort of “vacation”.

So I called Jimmy, who I’d been calling every chance I got for the past two months. He’s kept calling me “Angel” and I’d finally accepted it just last week.

I called him “Babe” and “Honey”. Mostly cuz I wanted to, but also because Dad had been around for a lot of our calls and I hadn’t wanted to alert him that my “Honey” was a guy. And if I said his name Dad would know.

I told Jimmy this once when he asked about my not calling him “Jimmy”. He’d been very quiet after I told him about Dad’s views. Then he told me he was proud of how brave his Angel was.

When I called him to ask if he minded spending a few days with me I didn’t tell him it was my birthday. I didn’t want to spend my 20th birthday partying. I just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend and relax.

On the drive down to Illinois from Montana I was so excited. I ran through all my calls with Jimmy in my head to remind me of everything in case he mentioned something I should know.

Like his grandparents’ names, Lenard and Margret Novak. Or his cousins names, Nick Joy, Erick Saltzman, Anna Miller, and Ernest Rourke. 

He had told me he used to have a cat named Hermes, but he had died a few years ago. The name of the restaurant he worked in was Café Hirando. Named after the owners Mark Hiroshi and Stacy Brando.

My brain reminded me, out of nowhere and not for the first time- that we hadn’t been protected last time. That could be a problem, but I really hoped it wouldn’t be.

I’d gotten tested two weeks ago but they found nothing. But that didn’t do much to easy my nerves. I might be clean but was he?

I _really_ wanted to know, if only to know he was healthy. And it would be nice if we could do like last time, but I wasn’t gunna ditch him if we couldn’t.

When I saw the “Welcome to Pontiac” sign I was so excited my stomach tied it’s self in knots. And when I pulled the Impala up to the curb in front of his house I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. But it was nice.

I grabbed my duffle and hurried up to the door. But once in front of the door I hesitated. What if he broke up with me? Or found someone else?

Did I really wanna get attached just to lose him? And what if he got a dog? It would be sad if we broke up!

I shook my head, now I was just being loopy! He didn’t have a dog. If we broke up the world wasn’t gunna _end,_ but I would be sad.

“Enough.” I told myself and knocked on the door. I heard something that sounded like someone falling down the stairs then the door opened and there was Jimmy. Hair messed up, eyes bright, grinning widely.

“ _Dean_!” He pulled me into a hug then dragged me inside and closed the door behind us. “Oh, it’s so good to _see_ you again!”

I had started grinning when the door opened and it didn’t feel like it was going anywhere anytime soon. “Jimmy.”

I planted a kiss on his nose and he laughed softly. “I missed you!”

I sighed, “Jimmy, Jimmy, missed you.” I murmured and pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him more. I pressed my face into his hair and ‘hmmm’ed, “You smell _so_ good!” I continued.

He chuckled, “So do you, Angel.” He tucked his nose under my jaw and kissed my skin gently making my pulse jump.

I pulled back a little and chased his mouth, “Get back here and kiss em.” I purred. He smiled and kissed me slowly. I sighed against his lips and he shivered, his hands separated. One slid up between my shoulder blades the other stopped at my lower back, both pulled me closer.

Between kisses I told him, “Got tested-”

Kiss

“Couple weeks ago-“

Kiss

“I’m clean.”

Kiss

“Are you clean?”

He responded by pulling away so he could look me in the eyes, “Yes. I’m clean. I got tested as soon as I was back here. I’m…. I’m sorry I endangered you like that.”

I sighed, “Neither one of us knew if the other was clean. Don’t blame just yourself.”

I dropped my forehead on his shoulder, “I _had_ condoms in my pocket…. But I didn’t even think about using them. I’m sorry too.”

He wiggled his shoulder to make me lift my head then held my face between his hands, “Well it turned out we were fine. We’re lucky. That’s nothing to be upset about.”

After a pause I smiled and he kissed me lightly. “Now….. I have a question for you.” He let go of my face, “Do you wanna have sex or breakfast first?” His voice stayed even like he was taking orders at a restaurant.

I smiled, “What are my options for both of those?” Jimmy crossed his arms and looked thoughtful.

“Well for sex we have a large variety of options, but I would suggest either hot like last time or slow and gentle. But for breakfast the variety is a little less grand, I could make pancakes, or omelettes…. Possibly a quiche.”

I frowned, “Wait what is a quiche?”

He smiled and uncrossed his arms, “A sort of breakfast pie. It’s like an omelette in pie form.”

I grinned, “Let's do a quiche!”

The look he gave me made me blush, then his eyes flickered over my shoulder for a second before returning to my eyes. “Sure thing, Angel.”

 

Breakfast was awesome and really fun to make. I was gunna have to show Bobby and Sammy how to make quiche.

We curled up on his couch and watched Doctor Who. When the show ended I was almost asleep, my head resting on Jimmy’s shoulder, legs tangled with his.

The blanket he’d covered us with was just warm enough to make me drowsy. So we napped for a while, too comfortable and happy to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my Lovelies! Look what I have for you! My longest chapter yet! And there are Things! And Plot! And mild Fluff! Yes! And hopefully the next chapter will be ready for Valentines day with some smut mayhaps? *le smirk* ENJOY! I LOVE YOU ALL! 
> 
> Please do not forget to reivew! I love reviews they make me so happy! They really do! AND SO DO ALL OF YOU!

I woke at the sounds of familiar voices. Jimmy was not on the couch next to me, and whoever he was talking to didn’t sound happy.

I took a deep breath and stretched out to wake up more. The talking stopped.

I sat up and looked over the back of the couch to see Jimmy hanging up his phone.

“Hey, Jimmy.” I grumbled as I got up, smiling when he looked at me. He smiled back and asked, “Did you sleep well, Angel?”

I nodded slowly, “Who were you on the phone with?”

He shrugged, “Oh just my Granddad. Grandmother asked him to check in on me.”

I tried not to feel like he was lying to me, maybe he just didn’t want to talk to me about his Grandparents.

I shook it off and smiled, “You hungry? I could try to make something…. I mean I’m not a _professional_ like _some_ people!”

He laughed and we both relaxed.

“What were you planning on making, Angel?”

I shrugged, “I dunno what you’ve got. I need ta check your fridge to see what I can work with.”

Jimmy gestured to the fridge, “Feel free. Don’t think you need to ask to go anywhere in my house. I trust you.”

I rolled my eyes and opened the fridge, “I’m not so sure you should trust me so much. I mean…. I might be some kind of- serial killer!” I looked over my shoulder to see him smiling at me.

“Wouldn’t be the worst way to die. And you may not think it’s a good idea but I _do_ trust you, Dean.”

My face heated and I quickly turned back to rummage in the fridge, “Alright then.”

I cleared my throat, “How do Bacon Apple Pancakes sound?”

He made an interested noise, “Never had them, but they sound tasty!”

I nodded and set to work on the batter and bacon.

 

We ate the pancakes before going to sleep in Jimmy’s awesome bed.

When we woke up we took a shower. Nothing too sexy happened, a little kissing but nothing else.

It was _indescribably_ nice to just _exist_ near each other. Every time I’d had a one night stand or even a week long relationship they hadn’t really wanted this…. Intimacy.

But Jimmy did, and I wasn’t gunna let go of him.

I tried to seem calm about the fact that it was my 20th birthday, but I couldn’t help being excited.

After our shower we sat in a little sunroom off the kitchen and played card games.

I won most of the games without using my hustling skills, much to the amusement of Jimmy.

He was more than happy to lose. I thought it was odd but there were stranger things.

We spent the whole day playing like kids and napping like old people.

After a dinner of scrambled eggs and cheese with bacon we sat down to play another game.

Truth or Dare. Cuz why the hell not?

It started out normal enough. Jimmy dared me to lick my foot, and I dared him to eat peanut butter on a pickle. Good childish fun.

Then after Jimmy had me tell him about Rhonda Hurley and the panties I asked, “Why do you call me, Angel?”

Jimmy paused and glanced at the ceiling before letting out a huge sigh. He focused on me, “Well….. First of all you’ve got a lovely set of- Amber wings.”

I felt a tingle at the back of my mind and I didn’t know how to respond. But he continued as if he had to say as much as he could as fast as he could.

“Secondly I’ve been speaking to Angels my whole life, I know an Angel when I hear one. Thirdly the Angel I speak to most _says_ you are. They say you are highly important to the fate of the world. After our night together they told me that I shouldn’t be near you. They were really adamant. The others disagree, they think they have no right to alter your life.”

We just stared at each other for a long time then I croaked out, “What’s their name? The one who talks to you the most?”

I wasn’t even sure why I wanted to know. Jimmy swallowed hard and opened his mouth. His answer resonated with all my being, as a humming in my mind, a warmth all around my body and a word.

“Castiel.”

My wings snapped out in surprise and all my eyes opened wide. I repeated the name slowly, “:Castiel:”

A smile made my mouth twitch, “:I never knew how to say it. When I tried it came out Cas.:”

I closed the eyes on my face and sighed, “Jimmy can you see…. Me?”

With the eyes on my wings I couldn’t see his physical body but I could see his soul. And it was _beautiful_!

Jimmy sighed and I reopened my physical eyes. He nodded, tears in his eyes, “Yeah. You’re so amazing. I don’t know how-“

I smiled slowly, “Aren’t they something? I have a little trouble believing they’re mine but…. I know they are. I missed this.”

I ‘hmm’ed and stretched my wings for the first time in almost a year.

Jimmy made a small noise and I tore my eyes away from the sight of my wings to look at my boyfriend.

Jimmy looked upset, “Dean… Castiel says they need to re-block your mind.”

I frowned, “No. I’m happy. I’m myself for once and I noticed when they weren’t there! I felt like some part of me was wrong. I need them! I need to be who I am!”

Jimmy looked like my words hurt him, “Dean, I’m sorry! I’m a vessel for Castiel! They want to speak to you directly so-“

Jimmy’s amazing blue eyes were lit from within then every line of him settled into the shape of another person.

Anyone without my second sight wouldn’t have seen it. But Jimmy’s soul was covered with another’s energy. An Angel’s grace.

I turned my physical eyes to Castiel’s and glared at the Angel.

My Angel. At least at one point, but not anymore.

“Dean.”

The low rumble matched the voice in my memories, and I was suddenly angry.

“Why didn’t you just take a vessel a _year_ ago? Huh? That was _all_ it would have taken to prove to me that I _wasn’t_ crazy you, _Asshole_! _Why_?! Instead you thought it would be better to- what? Take away part of me? Lock me up in my own mind? What is _wrong_ with you?!”

I didn’t notice the tears pouring down my face until Castiel reached out to try and wipe them off my face.

“Don’t _touch_ me!”

The Angel seemed both frustrated and sad but I didn’t care. “You-“

I tried to steady my breathing, “ _You_ are not going to do anything without my permission. You hear me?”

For a heartbeat I thought they might not listen but then they nodded, “Yes. I hear you. And none of my brothers and sisters will do anything to you or your brother without your express permission.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Jimmy too.”

Castiel pursed their lips and squinted their eyes at me in annoyance, “Dean. I cannot promise anything for this vessel-“

I held up a hand, “ _Soul_. Jimmy is a _soul_! Not just a _meat bag_ for you to wear. Okay? You need to ask his permission before you _use_ him.”

Castiel’s face scrunched up in disgust, “Meat bag.” They muttered and I pointed at them.

“That distaste you feel for your vessel being referred to as a meat bag should be how you _all_ feel about using someone _without_ their permission. They should say ‘ _Yes_ ’ to you _before_ you do _anything_ to them. Do you understand?”

Slowly the Angel nodded, “Yes, Dean. We _all_ understand. Apologies. I will leave…. Jimmy with you again. But…. I wonder if…. If Jimmy is agreeable…. Might I come and see you sometime? To talk. It has been- sometime since we spoke on good terms. And I’m sure you no longer want me in your mind.”

I licked my lips and tilted my head side to side, “Yeah, okay. But only if Jimmy is okay with it.”

The Angel nodded once and with a Ffflluup and a brief flash of light they were gone, leaving Jimmy staring at me in awe.

“Did you just tell off the _entire Host of Heaven_?! Dean! What were you _thinking_?!”

I heaved a sigh and relaxed a bit, dropping my wings from the high threatening display they had been in.

“They _can’t_ treat people that way! They have _souls_! They have _rights_!”

Jimmy laughed weakly, “You’re really the best person I’ve ever met, Dean.”

I blushed slightly and cleared my throat, looking at my feet I said, “Nah. I’m just a regular dude. Trying to help out where I can.”

Jimmy smiled wider, “ _That’s_ why you’re the best person I know, Dean. My Angel.”

I coughed and kicked at the floor with one socked foot, “Nah.”

Jimmy reached over and took my hand, squeezing it gently he said, “Hey.”

I glanced up to see heat in his eyes, “Castiel tells me it’s your 20th birthday….. Want a present?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I AM HORRIBLE! I AM ALSO VERY VERU VERY SORRY! I should really stop telling you guys when I plan to update. Because then I hit the most massive block ever and I don't update for months! And the following chapter is never as good as I wanted it to be. Sigh
> 
> Ah well! Here is the chapter I promised you two months ago! Enjoy! And please feel free to leave a review and say anything. Anything at all. Wanna tell me how mad you were when I failed you? Go for it! I love you guys and I am five kinds of disappointed in myself!
> 
> Have a fantastic day my lovelies!

I shivered, “Only if it’s what I think it is.”

Jimmy smirked, “Oh? What do you think it is, Angel?”

I rolled my shoulders and ‘hmm’ed, “Well, I was promised sex earlier. And I think that might be an acceptable birthday present.”

Jimmy laughed and pulled me towards the stairs, “Let’s go, birthday boy.”

On the way to the bedroom he didn’t touch me more than holding my hand, but by the time we were on his bed I was rock hard.

I pulled Jimmy’s shirt over his head and kissed his skin from his neck to his belly button. For some reason just touching him drove me crazy.

Made my skin tingle and feel too tight, in a good way. And the _taste_ of his skin, I almost creamed my pants just from that alone.

I’d never tasted anything like it. I knew I wasn’t the same as last time we’d had sex. Everything was- _more_ and I could feel my grace shaking with excitement.

“Jimmy, oh fuck.” I gasped as his hands covered my shoulder blades, making my wings _ache_ deliciously.

He kissed along my neck and I knew he didn’t know how intensely I was feeling things because his mouth pressed to my pulse point and I lost the fraction of control I had left.

By some miracle I managed not to cum, but my wings ripped into the physical dimension so quickly and violently that it made both a sound and a burst of light.

The sound that left my mouth was almost not human and Jimmy shuddered, eyes dark. “Dean, my angel, you…. Are so perfect and precious. So good.”

As he spoke I felt my face burn with a blush and he quickly worked open our pants.

When he touched my cock to line it up with his, actual tears came to my eyes and I physically shook with the feeling of it all.

I moved one hand to the center of his chest on instinct and choked on a scream when I felt his soul press against my grace, as our bodies were pressed together.

“Dean.”

I tried to focus my eyes on my boyfriend but all I could see was his bright blue-ish soul. I knew he wanted me to look him in the eyes but I was so lost in the blue of him. I was gone.

But not so far gone that I couldn’t feel our bodies anymore. I could feel Jimmy’s cock sliding delightfully against mine. And his free hand! Oh!

Combing slowly through my feathers over and over as he licked and nipped at my neck. I could hear him whispering my name repeatedly. And I could hear my own little noises of bliss.

I attempted to pull myself together enough to ask, “Jimmy, please. May I j-just a little bit?”

I wasn’t sure he understood, until his soul gently gave to my grace.

Slowly, carefully I let my grace fill him little by little. A breathless moan reward y actions along with, “Dean! Oh! Like _fire_ in my veins! Yes!"

I could feel it too and at some point we both reached the breaking point and came together.

I blacked out to the sound of Jimmy mumbling, “I love you.”

 

I woke suddenly and with no obvious reasoning. Glancing around, everything was normal.

Nothing was out of place. I even extended my senses to try and see what had caused my sudden alertness.

Nothing. Normally that would have calmed me but now it just made me nervous.

I got up slowly so as not to wake Jimmy and got a pair of sweat pants out of my bag. It wouldn’t be a good idea to wonder around naked, especially of this turned into a fight.

I swept the house carefully going to the front door last. Everything seemed fine, and I tried to remember what had woken me.

I went back to the bed room and as I crawled back into the blankets next to Jimmy I realized, it had been an angel leaving the room.

Cautiously I pulsed a small bit of curiosity at Castiel. A moment later they responded, “Dean? I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?:

I smiled slightly, so he _did_ listen.

:Yeah… But… Someone was here a minute ago. An angel.:

There was a pause where I could tell my angel- Castiel- was speaking to someone else.

:None of my brothers and sisters know of anyone visiting you. I am the one assigned to watch over you. No angel would visit another’s ward without permission.:

I chewed on my lip and ran my fingers through Jimmy’s hair.

:So… Do you know what happened?:

The angel sighed, :Perhaps it wasn’t an angel?:

I frowned fingers pausing in my boyfriend’s hair.

:No. I know what I felt. There was an angel watching us sleep and then they flapped away. What else has wings, Cas?:

We both tensed up a little and after a minute of awkward silence remembering old talks with my angel I sighed.

:Never mind. I’m sure you’re right. It couldn’t have been an angel. There’s no way they could lie, right?”

Then I mentally turned away, and curled around Jimmy.

“Hey, Babe. Do you want some breakfast?” I asked into his hair.

He took a deep breath and stretched, back arching before he opened those amazing eyes and smiled at me, “Only if there is coffee and _you_ cook.”

I laughed at Jimmy’s honesty and kissed him softly.

“Sure thing, sugar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. I don't really like this chapter but it needed to be written in order to advance the plot and get us to the angst that will be coming soon enough. Sorry. But how can you be happy if you are never sad? What do you have to compare it to?  
> Ah well. Chapter! Enjoy!

Two weeks after I got back to Bobby’s place, Dad called and told me he had a hunt for me.

When I picked up the phone I felt like something was wrong. But of course I hadn’t said anything and agreed to go.

Because it was Dad. Agree. Do.

So here I was in Amery Wisconsin, in January.

Sammy stayed at Bobby’s which wasn’t much warmer but I had a new kind of fighting tactic I wanted to try and I didn’t want to lie to Sammy about it.

I’d slowly started talking to Cas about my angel skills and I was learning quick. I already figured out how to summon an angel sword  and fly thanks to my angel’s attentive teachings.

And they agreed that I should be able to kill a simple Lamia, and if I needed them all I had to do was say so.

I didn’t know what the blade was made of but Cas seemed sure it would do what I needed it to. And it did.

The Lamia was killed, but only after multiple stabbings and the blade going through it’s head.

During that time I managed to get a wing dislocated as well as scratched across the ribs.

Cas was ringing in my ears, frantically trying to convince me they should help, but I ignored them in favor of awkwardly dragging the corpse away from town while trying to remain invisible.

I had just started burning the damn thing when I heard a distinctive Ffflluup.

“Dean.”

I’d know that rumbling voice anywhere. “Damn it, Cas! I said I was fine! You don’t need to hover!”

I turned and was surprised to see an older guy, with intense blue eyes, glaring at me.

“Dean, you’re injured! Your wing-“

I cut him off, “Is just dislocated. And I’m sure if I come back from a solo hunt without a scratch my dad will be suspicious, okay?”

The angel glared but didn’t say anything.

I heaved a sigh and tried to change the subject, “So…. Who are you wearing?”

Castiel blinked then glanced down, “Leonard Novak.”

I blinked rapidly, “That’s Jimmy’s Grandfather? Why are you…. I thought….”

The angel shrugged, “Well the truth is vessels are part of a blood line…. They were originally Nephilim, but after a long time they became people with slightly more than ‘normal’ skills. James and his entire bloodline capable of being my vessels. I used James last time because he was closest. But…. I wasn’t supposed to. We are supposed to use the eldest of the bloodline as they have lived their life most.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I didn’t. I stared at the angel for a long time then blushed a little.

Clearing my throat a little I looked up at the sky. “The sun’ll be up soon…. Should I have Jimmy help me with my wings?”

Castiel frowned, “I could help you. I have before.”

I blushed darkly now, “Yeah… but…. If you remember, last time was a little….”

I gestured vaguely, hoping they’d understand.

The angel frowned and asked, “What was so odd about last time?”

I winced, “It was a little… personal. I’d really rather not have my boyfriend’s Grandfather touch me like that. Ya know?”

They blinked twice in surprise then cleared their throat and took a deep breath, “I see.”

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath, “Umm…. So ca you just…. Tell Jimmy how to do it?”

The angel thought about it then nodded once, “Yes. Do you want me to fly you to him? I can bring you there and then go back to Heaven to explain…..”

I half smiled, “Sounds good. Give him a heads up we’re coming though.”

 

Three hours and  a lot of awkward embarrassment later I was in the Impala driving back to Bobby’s.

:When exactly did you hear it was a good idea to tell someone’s boyfriend you got them off once? Cuz whoever told you that was _wrong_!: I’d been talking with Cas since I flew back to my car.

I _felt_ them sigh. :Dean, I already apologized _five_ times. Both to you _and_ James! Why can’t you stop talking about it?:

I rolled my eyes and practiced flying the whole car a mile a head at a time.

:Fine. But….. Can…. Can you telling me something before you go?:

They paused, flickering curiosity, :What is it, Dean?:

I lifted the car again before continuing. :Is there something wrong with my dad? When he called I felt this….. wrongness. So I was just wondering….:

There was silence for an uncomfortably wrong time then I felt a jolt of confusion/fear.

:Dean!: Castiel sounded panicked and my stomach pitched in worry.

:What? What’s wrong?:

I couldn’t breathe while the seconds ticked by. The angel sounded almost as if they were in shock when they said, :I can’t find your father, dean. He’s not on Earth or any of the connected detentions.:

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I will try my best to not do this to you guys any more. I know how much it sucks. So! Here's a chapter! Freshly typed just this morning!  
> Enjoy! Another will be along soonly!

I wasn’t even sure how to respond. _How_ did you respond to that?

:W-Where-:

I closed my eyes for a moment then flew the Impala and myself to the entrance of Bobby’s drive way.

:Where else could he be?:

There was no response and I tried not to panic. Then there was a flutter of wings that made me look to the passenger seat. Castiel sat there, wearing Jimmy.

“I don’t know where he could be, Dean.”

I wasn’t even sure I was scared. But I had to find him, “Well…. Did you check Heaven? Or Hell?”

The angel looked down at their hands and sighed, “No. I would know if your Father were in Heaven. And I can’t check Hell. The host of Heaven is not exactly welcome among the damned.”

I covered my face with my hands and sighed, “So what can we _do_?”

Castiel reached out hesitantly and removed one of my hands from my face so they could hold it.

“I don’t know, Dean. I’m sorry.” I realized I had never touched Cas when they were wearing someone. At least not skin to skin.

It was a nice feeling. I could feel their grace under their skin. It was relaxing.

And wearing Jimmy, the whole thing was perfect. If only they were one person. There was a mental throat clearing and I looked up from our hands to see Cas looking uncomfortable.

:Dean, my angel…. You know we can hear you, right?:

Jimmy sounded both annoyed and amused.

I opened and closed my mouth trying to find a response. Eventually I pulled my hand free and turned my eyes back to the drive way.

I drove forward slowly before clearing my throat, “Uh…. Wanna meet the family, Jimmy?”

I glanced over to see Jimmy grinning.

 

It was only supposed to be Bobby and Sammy, but apparently Ellen and Jo had sung by from dinner.

They must have parked around back because when I opened the door there was Jo in all her blond, skinny glory.

She shrieked at the sight of me and threw herself at me. I caught her but winced at the sharp elbows and knees.

I had to stop myself from wrapping her up in my wings.

“Dean! Yay! They said you were on a Hunt! Are you okay?”

I smiled down at the fourteen year old ball of energy, “Yep. Fit as a fiddle, Kiddo! How ‘bout you, did you get _taller_ _again_?”

She giggled, “Yeah!”

The she glanced past me and paused, “Who’s he?”

I’d almost forgotten about Jimmy and blushed in embarrassment. “That’s Jimmy. He’s my boyfriend.”

Sammy damn near _fell_ down the stairs, “Oh my gosh! Dean! You didn’t tell me you were dating a _guy_!”

Ellen stomped into the room from the kitchen and smacked the back of Sammy’s head, “Sam! There is nothing wrong with that!”

Sammy rubbed the back of his head and glared at her, “I know _that_! I just thought he would have _told me_!”

I cleared my throat, “Guys, guys! This is Jimmy’s first impression of you! Don’t scare him off!”

Jimmy laughed and Bobby came down the stairs saying, “Son, he’s dating _you_. If you don’t scare him, _we_ won’t either.”

I threw a bitchface his way, “Thanks, Bobby.”

Jimmy tapped my shoulder and I glanced back at him, “Dean, you should probably introduce us.”

I snorted, “Oops. Yeah. Jimmy, this is Jo, Ellen, Sammy, and Bobby. Everyone this is my boyfriend, Jimmy Novak.”

Everyone said ‘hi’ and I clapped, “Awesome. Now…. Who’s hungry?”

 

Jimmy seemed right at home with my family and it really ruffled my feathers with joy.

I had made a dinner of burgers and fries for them and listened to everyone quiz my boyfriend on his life.

It was slightly edited and back when we had started dating I’d come up with a story for our meeting that wasn’t…. weird.

Basically he’d been caught by a Djinn that I’d been Hunting and after that I had offered to get him a drink.

Ellen smacked the back of my head the way she had done with Sammy, and I glared, “What?” I whined, wings drawing in with annoyance.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “Dean Winchester, that is no way to ask a nice young man out!”

I huffed and turned back to my food, “I’m sure I could have been _very_ rude and he would have still been happy.”

Jimmy snorted into his burger and his shoulders shook with laughter, “To be honest, Ellen. Dean may have asked to get me a drink but if he hadn’t, I would have.”

We smiled at each other over our food and my feathers fluffed, wings arching slightly. The subject changed to Jimmy’s job.

 

After Ellen and Jo left for the night Bobby caught my attention and looked from Jimmy, to me, to upstairs.

I blushed and shrugged, wings flapping around which made Jimmy look up.

“What?”

I froze then quickly scrambled for words, “Oh- um…. I was just wondering if ah….. If you wanted to stay tonight?”

Jimmy glanced at Bobby who was pointedly ignoring our conversation.

I continued to break the silence, “Unless you want me to drive you back to your car….. Which would be fine. Just… whatever you want.”

I tried to smile but I was nervous so it must have looked forced. I dropped it and cleared my throat. After a moment Jimmy chuckled softly, “As long as Bobby is alright with it. I’d love to.”

Bobby cleared his throat and stood, “Yep. That’s fine. I’m gunna go watch some TV. You boys keep it down.”

I coughed, “Yeah. No problem.”

Jimmy snorted, “No problem?”

I groaned, “Jimmy, I’m not having sex tonight. Sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to. But I promised Sammy I wouldn’t have sex in the same building as him ever again.”

Jimmy nodded, “Okay, Angel. But I do hope we can at least make out?”

He sounded hopeful and I smiled. I opened my mouth to answer when Sammy yelled, “Eww!” from the living room.

I turned to face the living room and yelled back, “Shut up, Bitch!”

Without missing a beat Sammy responded, “Jerk!”

Jimmy raised his eyebrows and flicked his eyes between us.

I waved a hand, “Sorry.”

He shook his head, “No, no. Just wondering what that was.”

I grinned, “Brotherly banter.”

My boyfriend laughed and stood, “Come on. Let’s go read for a bit.”

I stood and heard Sammy yell, “Dean doesn’t _read_! He looks at _pictures_!”

I winced but sounded my best to sound joking when I replied, “Well, not all of us can be _nerds,_ like _you_.”

When I turned back to Jimmy he smiled comfortingly.

I cleared my throat for what felt like the millionth time, folded my wings neatly and gestured to the front door, “Let’s go get your bag.”

Jimmy followed, taking my hand once we were outside.

“My angel, you know you’re smart. Don’t you?”

I gestured to the car, “Pretend to get the bag and tell me what’s in it. Please.”

He looked sad but dug around in the back seat, listing the things he would have packed.

When he closed the door he had the bag with everything he’d listed in his hands.

“Thank you, Dean.”

I nodded and took a deep breath, “Come on. I’ll show you to our room. Then we can read, and make out and sleep.”

He smiled, “Whatever makes you happy, my angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and tell me how much you hate my procrastination and spelling errors, or just say hi. Jk say whatever you want, my darlings!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo! Look at this! A timely update! Huzzah! And it's a long one! We haven't had one this long in a while!  
> This actually has the highest word count so far! Yay! Also more angst coming soon, I'm sorry but it had to be done. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Jimmy and I stayed at each other’s houses for longer and more often over the next two months.

But we heard nothing from Dad in that time and neither did anyone else. Bobby decided that two months meant he was dead.

Probably a failed Hunt, since he never took anyone with him.

Cas was steadfast with his answer that he knew every soul in Heaven and “Your father isn’t one of them, Dean.”

So I had to believe my dad was in Hell. Where else would he be?

Other than that things were good. Sammy didn’t Hunt, he just went to school. He got a job in town as a busboy.

I only took Hunts in a 40 mile radius of Bobby’s or Jimmy’s.

There really weren’t that many, so I helped out at a mechanic shop in Sioux Falls on my off days.

Cas was intensely focused on the idea that I should have full control of my grace and wings. So for days at a time they would wear Leonard and teach me about my angel mojo.

Then May 2nd, Sammy’s 16th birthday, Leonard died in his sleep. Margret called at 6:24am to tell her grandson what had happened.

He looked so sad I wanted to ask Cas to bring him back. But Jimmy shook his head, ‘It was his time. Bringing him back would be cruel and could possibly upset the world order. It’s better that what’s dead stay’s dead. But thank you for offering, my angel.”

I sighed, wings drooping, causing my right wing to slip off of his shoulders.

He took a shuddering breath and tried not to cry and he continued, “All that aside. What-“ He closed his shinning blue eyes, “What are we doing for Sam’s birthday?”

I turned to face him on the bed and gathered him in both my arms and wings.

“I’m sorry, Baby.  Go ahead and cry. It’ll make you feel better.”

He opened his eyes and a tear escaped, “But it’s Sam’s birthday!”

I smiled sadly, “Yeah. And you lost your grandfather. You can cry. It’s fine. Heck you can cry in front of Sammy too….. If you need to. He’ll probably just try to comfort you and offer you food, maybe a present. He knows.”

And like a damn bursting my sweet boyfriend, who tried not to cry because it was someone’s birthday, broke down and cried.

 

At Sammy’s part Jimmy seemed okay. A little less smiley than usual but not all that sad.

When we had shown up, Sammy had paused,

“Jimmy what’s wrong?”

And instantly my boyfriend broke down again. I looked at my brother and sighed, “Happy birthday, Sammy.”

Jimmy took a deep breath and wiped at his tears, “Yeah! Happy Birthday, Sam. I’m sorry for crying. I’m sorry.”

Sammy looked at me, worry on his face, I rubbed Jimmy’s back and said, “Leonard died last night, in his sleep.”

Sammy turned his eyes to Jimmy and gathered him up in a hug. He pet my boyfriend’s hair and told him not to apologize, that he could cry all he needed to.

I felt awkward just standing there watching them, so I slowly started walking towards the house.

After three minutes of my taking off my shoes and coat I looked back to see the talking quietly.

I sighed and turned to find Bobby waiting for me in the living room door way.

“Something wrong?”

I nodded, “Yeah, jimmy’s granddad died this morning. And he’s upset.”

Bobby nodded slowly, “I understand how your man feels. I’ve lost my grandparents. And my parents.”

I frowned at the annoyed tone Bobby used.

“I know. I have too, Bobby.”

But I never knew my grandparents, my dad was never close and the only one I really hated living without was Mom. But I’d had an awful long time to accept that she wasn’t coming back.

“Okay. So maybe I’m not as emotional about it as Sammy. But Sammy is way more emotional about everything. It’s not that I don’t care his granddad died. I do care, Leonard was a nice guy. But I just….”

Bobby was still frowning at me when I trailed off.

I wanted to say that dead didn’t mean gone. We could still talk to him, even see him given a good enough opportunity.

But somehow I knew Bobby would think I was lying, or that Leonard had become a ghost. Neither was true so I turned away and marched back outside.

I was going to get my socks all dirty but I didn’t care. Sammy and Jimmy looked up when I reached them.

And the sight of their sadness made tears form in my eyes, “Come ‘ere.” I said gently, pulling them into my arms.

I carefully wrapped my wings around them as well and hoped Sammy wouldn’t notice.

Jimmy tucked his face into my neck and Sammy rested his head against my chest with a sigh.

And we stayed there until Bobby came out to check on us.

But the rest of the day the man I called my uncle gave me odd looks and rarely spoke to me.

I ignored it for Sammy’s sake but I really wanted to call the old man out on it.

 

The party was simple but fun.

Sammy had invited a couple friends from school and a few from work but otherwise it was just Bobby, Jimmy, and me.

We ate burgers and hot dogs I cooked. Then we gave Sammy his presents.

Jimmy had gotten him a book he’d been wanting. His guests got him a random assortment of nonsense he seemed to like.

Bobby and I would give him our presents later.

But when everyone left I was amazed to see Bobby hand him car keys. It made me feel like my present was stupid.

When he opened the box I was worried he wouldn’t like it. First was a pearl handled hunting knife, a classy version of the knife he’d gotten me.

And last was a necklace with a silver chain and one of my whiskey colored feathers on it.

I’d asked Cas if it was considered alright to give your feathers to a relative and they’d said it meant love. But not a specific kind. So yes, it would be appropriate. It also had the added bonus of protecting the one who wore it.

But instead of the reaction I was expecting, my little brother jumped up and hugged me tight.

“These are so cool, Dean! I love them!”

When he let me go I cleared my throat, “Glad you like ‘em, Sammy.”

He put the necklace on and turned the feather over in his hands, then frowned.

“I’ve never seen a feather like this. Where’d you get it?”

I opened and closed my mouth, annoyed that I’d forgotten to make something up beforehand.

“It’s from an angel. I helped get it for Dean.”

Jimmy sounded nervous at the half truth.

Bobby narrowed his eyes at me and Sammy stared at Jimmy in amazement, “Really? How’d you get it?”

Jimmy shrugged, “Grooming makes feathers come loose. We just asked if you could have it.”

Now Bobby looked scared, “Oh really? Well what angel was so kind?”

We all stared at him before I took a deep breath, “Sammy’s Guardian Angel.”

I felt a flutter of amusement from Cas, :Dean… You aren’t lying. You take such care with your brother that you are labeled his guardian angel.:

I relaxed.

Not a lie! Not a lie!

But Bobby didn’t look even a little bit soothed.

After a heartbeat of silence he nodded slowly then turned to Sammy, “Well, Sam. Your Guardian Angel gave that to you, keep it safe.”

Sammy nodded enthusiastically and tucked it under his shirt.

 

I sighed as I felt Sammy drift off to sleep.

“Come on, Jimmy. We should head back home.”

My boyfriend nodded and stood, “I’ll go start the car. Be out soon?”

I smiled, “Yep. Gotta talk to Bobby for a sec.”

He looked nervously at the kitchen where Bobby sat with a glass.

“Is everything okay?”

I shook my head, “I dunno.”

He swallowed and said, “Just be careful, my angel.”

I nodded and stood. Turning off the TV I turned to the kitchen.

“Hey, Bobby. I have to ask you something before we go.”

The older man looked at me warily, “What’s that?”

I sat in the chair across from him, “Are you mad at me? You’ve been giving me weird looks all day.”

He leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath before responding.

“Last time you were here one of those wards I had, broke every time you came in the house.”

I felt my guts freeze and my wings twitch with dread.

‘Now…. I haven’t been able to figure out what that means. But I know you’re not Dean. So, what the Hell are you and  what did you do with him?”

I stared, slack jawed at the old Hunter for a moment. Did he really-

“Bobby, I _am_ D-“

He slammed his hands down on the table making me jump. “Don’t you play with me! Where is he?”

I clenched my jaw, “Robert Singer. I am Dean Winchester. And I can’t tell you what some broken ward means because I don’t know. But I can tell you I don’t care. Because even if I’m not human, I would never- EVER- hurt you or Sammy.”

A glimmer of surprise showed in his eyes, “Did you just admit to not being human?”

I swallowed, “Yeah…. Kinda. Truth is I’m not 100% anything. Besides me. So if that’s gunna be a problem…..”

Bobby sighed, “Can you tell me what you are?”

I chewed my lip before making my wings visible.

He didn’t look too upset. Just very surprised, “Well…. That’s certainly some thin’ else, Son. So…. You’re an angel? That doesn’t answer any questions. I’ve known you since forever. Watched you grow up. Or are you just wearing him?”

I glared, “I already told you I was Dean. And I’m kinda done with this conversation. Don’t tell Sammy. He doesn’t know for a _damn_ good reason. Got it? I’m going home now.”

I felt like a pouty child for the way I was acting but I didn’t care. I’d never done anything to make Bobby think I was a threat.

So why was he so weird about all this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Tell me what you think! Tell me what you had for breakfast! Anything dearies!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm getting better at updates! Here's another chapter! It has a massive mood swing and I'm sorry if it goes by kinda fast.  
> Enjoy!

“What do you _mean_ I’m not good enough?!”

The angel rolled their eyes, “That’s not what I _said_ , Dean. I said you aren’t as practiced as you could be. _Would you stop pouting and just LISTEN_!?”

I winced and glared at the angel but didn’t say anything. They took a deep breath and continued teaching.

“Flying is one the basics of angel skills. Angels learn to fly within hours of creation. You were never really taught. It happened as a fear response. So your own personal method is sloppy and- Don’t you roll your eyes at me! You’re sloppy! And childish! Pay! Attention!”

I seethed, the angel was usually much calmer. Why were they so cranky today? Well….. We had been practicing for two days straight.

We’d covered telepathic communication, changing the matter of objects, smiting, and now flying.

But apparently I wasn’t “adept” at flying so now we were at an impasse because I flew just fine.

Maybe not as fast as a regular angel, but certainly faster than a human could see, and faster than a demon or other monster could snatch at me. That was what mattered to me.

“So…… What I want you to do is follow me and try to match my wing beats.”

I growled and threw my hands up, “Cas, you have _four_ wings. I just have two! How am I supposed to match your wing beats?”

The angel heaved a sigh, “Dean, you’re thinking too much! Your _wings_ know what to do.”

I mimed strangling the angel with a frustrated snarl, “Cas! If _my wings_ know what to do, then why do you say they are _wrong_?!”

The angel stared for a minute, eyes narrowed then they sighed, “ _Fine_. We’re _done_. I suppose you _might_ just fly differently because you’re half human. That _might_ be what is _blocking_ your _instinctually_ angelic flight.”

I stared in shock at the angel, “Did you just…. _Sass_ me?”

The angel smiled slowly, “I suppose that’s what you’d call it. All angels speak like this to each other. But we are aware that humans don’t speak like this to each other so….”

They shrugged, “We try to speak in a way that might not offend you so easily.”

I was aware that I was grinning and made no attempt to hide it.

“That’s awesome! You can talk to me like that. I won’t mind at all!”

Cas grinned back and said, “Well, I should be going…… Since we are done with your lessons for a while.”

I reached out and caught their wrist.

“Uh- Wait!”

They titled their head in question.

“Do…. Do you like burgers?”

The  angel frowned, “I don’t know.”

I gaped, “You’ve never had burgers?!”

The angel paused, “Jimmy showed me his memories of burgers. They seem to be food. I do not eat, Dean. Everything tastes of its base elements when I eat it.”

I whined, “No! Come on, if you can teach me to change the matter of paper I think you can taste meat. Here.”

I took the angel’s hand and opened my wings. They let me drag them to my favorite burger place in America and quietly let me order them a burger.

But when I flew us back to Jimmy’s house to eat they balked.

“Dean. I can’t-“

I glared and cut them off, “Come _on_! Don’t tell me you’re not powerful enough to eat a burger!”

That seemed to shut them up and they picked up the burger. After a moment of staring at it Cas bit into the burger. And their face lit up.

“This is amazing!”

I smiled fondly at the angel, “See! I _told_ you!”

They looked up to meet my eyes, their own sparkling with joy. It ruffled my feathers.

 

After that it was a habit. When Cas needed to do something through Jimmy or teach me something we’d get food or see a movie together.

It was awesome!

I was glad to have a friend who wasn’t also family.

But it wasn’t perfect.

The more time I spent with Cas the more Jimmy acted weird.

After almost a month Jimmy hardly came over to my place and I was worried.

Maybe he didn’t like being so far from his home?

So I looked at apartments nearly halfway between Pontiac and Sioux Falls. I printed off the info about three small rentals in lower Minnesota.  I hoped this would solve our problem.

 

I parked in front of Jimmy’s house and rushed up the steps. I took out the key he’d gotten for me but my heart sank when I saw a new lock on the front door.

For almost a minute I just stared at it. Then slowly I tried the key, just in case.

But it didn’t work. I took a deep breath and  slowly walked around to go in the garage.

Once in the garage I tried opening the door to the house.

It also had a new lock.

I sat down on the step.

I couldn’t process for a moment.

Then I reached out for Jimmy’s mind like Castiel had taught me.

:Jimmy? Are you home?:

A pause, then, :Yes.:

I bit my lip and instantly healed it, :You locked me out.:

An even longer pause, :Yes.:

I took a shuddering breath, :Are you safe?:

Almost no pause, :I’m fine.:

I closed my eyes to fight back tears.

:Is this your way of breaking up with me? Locking me out with no warning? That’s cruel!:

No response.

I started to hyperventilate and shake.

I heard him stomp to the door behind me and yank it open.

“You’re cheating on me with an _angel_!  How the shit am I supposed to respond to that? AND YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME- _WITH MY OWN BODY_! IS…. IS _THAT_ WHY YOU DATED ME?!”

I couldn’t even move.

What the hell did that mean? I’d _never_ cheated on anyone. Ever.

“What are you talking about?” My voice sounded wrong, even to me. Hollow, slightly echo-y. It was creepy.

Jimmy grabbed my shoulder and yanked me to my feet before turning me to face him.

“Castiel. You’re _dating_ Castiel while they wear _my_ body.”

I frowned, “No. Cas is my friend. _You’re_ my boyfriend.”

I sounded emotionless and old. Sort of like when Cas mentioned a war in Heaven. Jimmy locked his hands in his hair, “You’ve been going on _dates_ together! You go to movies and eat and fly together!”

I shook my head suddenly uncomfortably angry. My wings ripped into the physical dimension violently and I could feel my eyes light.

“I have never cheated and I never will cheat. If you think I can or will, you don’t know me. Castiel is my _friend_. I have only one. You _were_ my boyfriend. Now I don’t have one.”

The building shook around us and I knew a normal person’s eyes would have burned out by now. I spread my wings, gripped my car and flew back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this made you sad. But you know Dean, he wont let his emotions mess up his life.  
> Please review! Tell me what you think. Also tell me your favortie word as well as it's meaning (Doesn't have to be in english)!  
> Have a splendifferous day, lovlies!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold! A chapter that did not want to be written! Though I bested the beast! Now I share my kill with you!  
> (What even am I saying?)
> 
> Enjoy!

I stood in the field behind Bobby’s house for a long time. Then I reached into the minds of everyone who’d known Jimmy and I were dating and replaced him with a woman who didn’t really exist.

Then sent the same story into my own mind.

But it didn’t stick.

It was like trying to completely burry myself in sand. If I reached to cover some other part then even more would be uncovered.

I growled in frustration and gave up on doing it myself.

:Cas! I need some help. Talk to me for a minute here?:

Their response was instant.

:Dean! What’s going on? Jimmy won’t let me talk to him and when I asked if I could borrow him to help you he blocked me out!:

I winced and shook my head, :He broke up with me, Cas….. He said we were cheating together? And-And…. I can’t do it, Buddy. I-I replaced everyone’s memory but yours, Jimmy’s and mine. But I’ve been trying to fix mine…. And it doesn’t work. So-:

There were no words in the angel’s response, juts emotions.

Sadness for me, they’d known how much I love Jimmy.

Anger at Jimmy for causing my pain. And confusion over all.

After a moment Cas spoke.

:Why would James think we were intimate? Yes we care for each other, but as comrades, friends. We never did anything that could be mistaken for romance. Did we?:

I shook my head and tried to stop my tears, :No. We didn’t. We’re just friends. Cas, I can’t- I don’t- Please.:

They didn’t respond right away and I couldn’t feel what they feel.

:Dean, I don’t think removing James from your mind will help you cope.:

I swallowed hard, :I was gunna ask him to move in with me. Hell, I woulda’ moved in with him if he’d asked. I-I-:

I closed my eyes, :I just can’t deal with this, Cas. I-I won’t block _you_ out. Just him. Okay? You’re my friend. I’d never blame you. _He_ left me. You’re still here. Right?:

A rush of warmth, :Of course, Dean. I’d never willingly abandon you.:

I wiped a tear off my face and took a deep breath, :I just wanna forget him, Cas. Please.:

I slowly dropped to my knees and spread my wings low and wide, in what felt like a pleading gesture.

After an unsure pause the angel touched my mind with hands of pure energy.

I relaxed, letting them sort through my mind and place my story there.

 

:Dean?:

I took a deep breath and coughed when my throat felt dry.

:Dean?:

I opened my eyes, :Hey, Cas. Did I fall asleep? Sorry, Buddy.:

I felt them sort of “sigh” in relief.

:Oh you’re alright! God! Your idea worked. But I had to remove your conversation with Bobby from his mind. You aren’t supposed to share that information, Dean. So don’t do it again, and don’t forget he doesn’t know it happened…. Dean?..... Do- Do you…. Feel different?:

I cleared my throat and stood, :Well, I feel good. Better than before I had you mess around with my emotions. That is all you did right? Turned my –emotions- for Jane off? Because I feel like I’m…. glowing. Wow. What did you _do_ to my mind, Cas?:

I grinned up at the sky.

The angel sighed, “I did only as you asked, Dean. Although….. I did boost your grace’s strength a bit. So what you’re feeling is…. Life. You don’t need to eat, sleep or drink as long as you keep _this_ open.:

They mentally brushed against a place in my mind and I somehow knew what it did.

Self-sufficiency.

Just like Cas said, if I wanted to be more angel than human I just had to keep the door in my mind open. But when I thought about it, it would probably be best to live as a human. So I slowly, carefully, shut the door.

A sudden exhaustion caused me to yawn, :Cas? I’m gunna go inside and sleep. Will you talk to me while I do? Your voice is relaxing.:

They laughed softly and started talking about how they wished cherubs would stop naked hugging everyone they encountered. Which slowly transitioned to wondering  what their “brothers” were doing.

:Now- I say brothers, but since we have no gender it doesn’t mean male sibling. Any way the point is no one has seen Gabriel in a long time and Michael vanished a little while ago. At least Balthazar is still around-:

By this time I was curled up in bed half conscious.

The smell of the pillow next to me brought tears to my eyes. The angel paused mid-sentence to pull me into their embrace and into a very familiar orange skied lakefront.

My Blue friend pulled me towards the water and I followed without question.

The water was slightly warmer than body temp and I relaxed.

:Just float, Dean.:

I did. I floated on my back, wings, arms and legs spread to stabilize myself.

Two hands fan through my hair and the other two petted over my feathers carefully.

I wasn’t sure if it was possible to sleep in a dream, but I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think. I didn't like this chapter but I needed to write it for plot reasons. *Sigh*  
> Ah well! What is your favorite color (it's okay to have more than one I have three)?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! New chapter! But sad because reasons. I didn't really wanna type this one up beacuse I've had a very bad past couple days. but I figured knowing you lovelies are happy to see a new chapter would cheer me up.  
> So! Enjoy my darings!

I woke to water splashing on my face and flailed.

My eyes locked on Bobby standing over me with a flask of holy water.

I frowned, “What they Hall, Bobby?!”

He narrowed his eyes at me, “Didn’t hear you come in last night, and I thought I should test you.”

I sighed, “Damn it, that’s no way to wake someone! You could have just _said_ , ‘wake up, Dean’ and I would have! Dad had me pretty well trained!”

Bobby winced at the mention of my dad and turned his back on me to leave. “Meet me in the basement, I’ve been working on somethin’.”

I started to yell at him but he walked away.

I sighed and got up to dry off and take my sheets off the bed before the water soaked in.

As I got dressed I glanced at the clock, it was only 6am! What was _wrong_ with Bobby? That was _way_ too early!

But since I was up I decided to do laundry. After all, it needed to be done and it was also down stairs.

I stripped the sheets of mine and Bobby’s beds and gathered up all the dirty clothes I could find. On the way down I made coffee and snagged a cup for each of us.

Carrying both mugs by the handles in one hand and the laundry basket between my other hand and my hip, I descended the rickety stairs to the basement.

“Bobby? I got you some coffee!” I called quietly, as it wasn’t a huge basement and Sammy was still sleeping up stairs.

I set the mugs down on the nearest surface and started sorting the laundry.

“Bobby?” I called again not sure if he heard me. When I got no answer I assumed he was upstairs and started a load of dark colored clothes.

“Dean, come ‘ere.”

I turned around at the sound of Bobby’s voice past the stairs. I picked up our coffees and moved toward where I’d heard his voice.

My jaw dropped when I saw that in place of the closet was a _huge_ room with an iron door and tons of warding symbols inscribed everywhere.

“Shit! Bobby, please tell me this used to be a closet! Because I’ve never seen this before!”

The older hunter shook his head, “You were gone one weekend and Sam was working so I built a panic room. Monsters and such can’t get in. Neat, huh?”

He reached out for his coffee and I gave it to him while looking around.

“Yeah! Super _awesome_!”

When I stepped in Bobby stepped out, which was odd considering how much room there was.

But Bobby was all sorts of strange today.

I sipped my coffee and wandered around, there was a desk, a cot, a small cabinet and two chairs but not bathroom.

“Hey, Bobby? If we hide in here we’re gunna need a toilet or…. Something, right?”

I looked back to see the old man glaring at me. “What are you?”

I frowned uncomfortably aware that this time I would have to maintain my humanity.

“Excuse me? I’m a human who knows people need bathrooms! Dude, if we’re all stuck in here for more than a day it’ll be messy.”

He growled out, “Don’t _fool_ with me. You’re not human. I know it and so do you. So make it easy on us both and tell me _what_ you are!”

I swallowed and tried to act as hurt and confused as I felt, why couldn’t he trust me?

“I’m an emotionally wrecked 20 year old who is very confused about what’s going on here. Since when am I not human?”

He stared at me silently for a long time, then crossed his arms over his chest, “You’re gunna stay in here until you tell em what you are. Once you do that I’m gunna help Dean. And so help me, he better not be dead.”

Then he turned around and walked away. I set down my coffee and started after him, “Hold on a second! What makes you think I’ll stay in here?” I yelled.

I made it a few feet then was shocked to find an invisible wall blocking the door way. I wanted to scream.

Now I couldn’t lie. Now he would know I wasn’t really human. And then the angels would make him forget again. And he would confront me again and it would continue forever.

“I may have lied about the panic room’s function. It’s for _trapping_ monsters, not keeping them out. And if you yell or make any loud noises? I’ll shoot you. Not to death, just so you shut up. Got it?”

I wasn’t sure what made me more sad and angry; Jane locking me out or Bobby locking me in.

Both made me want to scream and lash out. But I just slowly shuffled over to the cot and flopped onto it.

I reached out to Cas to tell them the problem and found the warding blocked my telepathy. I curled up in a ball and tried to stay calm. Bobby wouldn’t really hurt me…. Right?

Truth be told I wasn’t so sure.

I listened as closely as my ears were able and heard Bobby mention ‘Dean’ ‘Hunting’ and ‘awhile’.

I wondered who he might be lying to when I heard Sammy respond with an annoyed “More like seeing his girlfriend.”

I winced, I always said goodbye to Sammy before going on a hunt! Why wouldn’t I do that this time? Why didn’t my family trust and know me the way I trusted and knew them?

I didn’t cry, but I may as well have with how sad I was. I was more hurt than angry now. I would _never_ choose a partner over Sammy!

 

The small window at the top of the room told me it was just past noon when Bobby’s footsteps approached. But it felt like years since he rudely woke me.

He stopped just outside the room and cleared his throat.

I was glad I had my back to him so he couldn’t see how my face was frozen in the sad realization that I might have to stay here forever.

“You’ve been awfully quiet.”

I didn’t move. I wasn’t going to fight with him, but I sure as shit wasn’t going to help him either.

If he was going to be difficult so was I.

As long as Sammy was kept out of this.

“You know what, you face-stealing-Son-of-a-bitch? I just need to know Dean is okay. You know Dean, right? You should. You’re wearing his face. He’s a good kid, does his best to keep everyone happy even if they are a horrible father….”

I blinked. What?

“He’s a damn good older brother. An amazing son to and old man like me. And he’s got a girl, Jane, they’re sweet on each other the way old married couples are sweet.”

I felt the first tear slide across my face.

Blue eyes. Bright amazing blue eyes.

A laugh that you had to laugh with.

“So…. What do you say we get those two kids back together?”

Kisses so sweet they melted my heart.

That special way she said ‘I love you’ so you _knew_ she meant it.

But she left me because she was _jealous_ that I made _one_ friend.

I hadn’t let it get to me before. I hadn’t let myself feel.

But now I couldn’t distract myself and I had to deal with my grief.

My whole body shook with sobs and I bit my knuckle to try and keep quiet as I let my heart ache out.

But I must have let out some pitiful noise because a hand was suddenly rubbing my back. Without thinking I flung my arms around his neck and openly cried on his shoulder.

He kept patting my back for a while then said, “I know. It’s sad they’re apart. But you only have yourself to blame. So let Dean go back to her, hmmm?”

All my tears were gone instantly and I pushed myself to my feet before flying us both to the invisible wall and pushing him through.

“FUCK YOU! _None_ of this is _my_ fault! _She_ left _me_!”

Then used as much force as I could to angelically slam and lock the door between us.

I wasn’t a monster.

I was Dean Winchester.

Sammy’s brother.

John and Mary Winchester’s son.

I repeated it to myself aloud as well as in my head until I was too tired to talk.

I’d paced along the wall for who knew how long and the sun was starting to rise. I didn’t want to sleep I could tell I would have the fire nightmares again.

I wasn’t going to sleep. I _wasn’t_.

I remembered that part of my mind Cas had shown me, which made me less human more angel. I threw open that mental door and smiled when my need for food, sleep and drink vanished.

I reached out to feel along the walls for any weak spots and completely shut off my emotions.

I was Dean.

I was an angel.

And I was getting out of here, one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do YOU like better? Coffee? Or tea?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I finally figured out how I wanted to move the plot! Heheheheheh! I feel like I'm taking to long to get where I am going, sorry -_-
> 
> Anyway here's Wonderwall- I mean! This new chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> P.s. If Dean seems a little odd and over reactive, it's becasue he hasn't had anything to eat or drink in like three days and he hasn't slept either. He's a little coocoo right now and I really wanted to let him rest but.... NO! SLEEP! TIL PLOT HOOOOOOOLES! (plot holes)  
> Sorry

It really hadn’t been that long. Two, maybe three days.

But when Bobby came back to try again I had made every object in the room into something else.

Each chair was a glass tree in perfect detail.

The desk was a wooden replica of Mary Winchester.

Not my mother. Angel’s only had one ‘parent’ and that being was more of a creator.

The cabinet was a living bamboo stalk.

And the cot was a massive pillow I had nested in.

When Bobby opened the door he paused. Frowned. Then shook his head.

“You’re something else. Ready to have a chat, you tantrum throwing lunatic?”

I shrugged, “Don’t care. Although I will tell you that I will never forgive your betrayal. Not even _Dad_ locked me in a room without food, water or a toilet for days. But he is a better liar than you. I _always_ tell Sammy where I’m going before I go. And I call every other night. Has he started asking questions yet?”

Bobby stared at me completely speechless for a beat then cleared his throat, “Dropped the hysterics act didja? Good.”

I snorted, “I completely shut off my emotions. I don’t care that you trapped me. Now all I want is out.”

Bobby leaned on the door frame, “Okay. Just tell me what you are and where Dean is.”

I sighed and showed him my wings, again.

“I’m an angel. And Dean is right where he’s been since you locked him up.”

Bobby didn’t seem too shocked to see my wings, which did make me wonder why.

“Are you like that pretty fella I just trapped in the shop a few minutes ago? An Angel of the Lord?”

I sneered, “I have no ‘Lord’. I am an angel of me…. Who did you trap?”

The old man smirked, “Some weirdo. Called himself ‘Castiel’ or somethin’ like that. I-“

I threw myself against the invisible wall as fast and hard as possible, “ _LET CAS GO!”_

Bobby flinched but continued conversing, “Who’s he to you?”

I snarled as a trickle of anger came back to me.

“Castiel is the only one I have left. And stop saying ‘he’. Angels as pure and old as that have no gender. The fact that I am tied to a male body makes me more male than anything. But I still don’t feel male. Imagine how Cas must feel!”

Bobby whistled low, “You love this…. Angel. Don’t you?”

I relaxed a little, “Of course. Cas would never harm or abandon me. They wouldn’t lock me in….. _Or_ out! They are the best part of my life.”

Someone damn near fell down the stairs and we both turned to see who it was.

They faced us and I blinked. He looked familiar….. he opened his mouth but froze when the grace of my angel lit him from within.

“Cas!” I couldn’t help grinning, plumage fluffing with joy.

My angel rushed forward and blasted away the invisible door.

“I have been looking _everywhere_ for you! I have trespassed in realms you can’t even _imagine_. And you were in your _home_?! I found you by finding your _car_! I was so-“

I wrapped my arms and wings tightly around them.

:Cas.:

The longer I held them the more human and normal I felt.

“ _Starving_ , _thirsty_ , and _tired_!” I whined into my angel’s neck. :Pick me up before I pass out.:

I hid my wings from Bobby and sagged. Cas caught me easily and held me bridal style.

“Robert I am sorry about this but I have to wipe your memory again. I cannot allow you to hurt Dean again. Not in _any_ way.”

I took a deep breath and fought to keep my eyes open.

“No. If you do that he’ll just confront me again, and again, and again…. Just …. Hide me somewhere safe so….” I yawned, “I can sleep.”

The angel chuckled, “Of course, Dean. Then Mr. Singer and I will have a chat and I’ll bring you some food, sound good?”

I ‘hmm’ed and slowly slipped out of consciousness.

 

Fire. Running. Sammy was so much heavier than last time I’d held him. Then the fire got closer and I kept running.

When I was far enough away I looked back and saw Mom was standing in the fire looking at Dad who was also standing in the fire looking at her.

Then he stepped back and the fire flared up consuming her.

So much fire!

I wrapped my wings around us both and watched Dad watch the fire.

When the flames got closer I kept running.

Always running. Protect Sammy. Protect Sammy.

But he was so heavy!

I looked down at him and was shocked to see my brother, years older than now. His face was sharper and less chubby then now but still Sammy. Somehow he was dying. And it was my fault! I failed to protect him and he-

 

The nightmare melted out of my mind, leaving me at that orange skied lake. I turned my head to see Cas still there. But I wasn’t sure what had happened.

Tears rolled down my face and I stubbornly wiped them away, now was not the time to get overly emotional.

:Cas? That nightmare….. At the end I-:

They shook their heads, :Dean, forget the nightmare. I want to know why you chose to try and shut down your emotions while trapped.:

I bit my lip and tried to remember. The closer I got to the reason the more I cried.

:I –I umm…. I was trapped and…. Sammy believed something…. that was _obviously_ a lie…. And…. Bobby trapped me…. and I had to get out because I….:

I tried to stop sobbing and breathe but all those repressed emotions came back to me.

:I had to get out because I couldn’t talk to you and you are all I have left. But I couldn’t _reach_ you. I got close once but there was so much warding and….. you weren’t reaching back.:

I wrapped my wings around myself and tried to stay calm. But all the fear and sadness came rushing back. Three sets of wings, every shade of blue, wrapped around me and four calming arms held me close.

:Dean. You are alright. I understand. It was actually your reaching that told me you needed me. I felt the almost touch and turned to look for you. When I couldn’t find you I knew _something_ was wrong. Those wards were old and haven’t been used in eons so I hadn’t thought to look for them specifically. But once I located your car I found you… Robert is very resourceful. He _did_ trap me in a holy fire ring and I had to let my vessel go so he could cross the flames and put them out.:

I remembered the man. The guy who fell down the stairs in a hurry. The one who looked so familiar….

:Is he okay? The vessel I mean.:

The angel nodded a head slowly, :Yes. I let him go back to his home. And _we_ are in an intangible pocket dimension. You made this place, Dean. Only the two of us can get in. One of my sisters tried to get in but….. Your skills of ‘lock’ making are amazing. The dimension didn’t recognize the grace and sent them elsewhere. It was…. Truly amusing to behold.:

I smiled, :I didn’t do anything except want someplace safe…. I made this? Really? I thought it was a dream! I mean we just sort of showed up here when my wings were hurt…. I thought _you_ made it.:

My angel sighed, :Oh, Dean. You are ever more amazing. Every time I think I know what choir you could be in you prove to exceed them. They are all a bit- annoyed honestly. I find it funny.:

They lay one head on the top of mine and we both sighed.

I thought this must be what Heaven felt like. The certainty that you were safe. That the ones you cared about were safe with you.

Cas leaned back slowly to look at me with a closed off expression, :Dean. Be careful what you think and say. The other angels already feel that we are too close. That I have favoritism.:

I frowned, :But you’re my Guardian, right?:

They shook their heads, :No, Dean. Angels look after themselves. I was supposed to make sure you didn’t go rouge. That is all….. I am being watched closely now.:

I didn’t even know how to respond.

Cas wasn’t supposed to be spending so much time on me? But they _chose_ to?

I was equal parts scared and happy. They wanted to be around me, but they could get in trouble for it.

I took a deep breath and rested a hand on Cas’ shoulder, :Thanks, Buddy. I…. I think I’m better now.:

The angel frowned, :Dean, I know what you’re thinking. Stop.:

I raised my eye brows, :Cas, I’m not letting you get in trouble for me. I’m not worth that. Besides you have another job, right? Something you’re supposed to be doing? You’ve taught me how to take care of myself, I think I can still look after Sammy. I’ll just…. Find a new town, farther from Bobby, and we’ll….:

The angel was glaring at me darkly and I was a little afraid. But I knew Cas would never hurt me.

:Dean. You would be considered a rouge angel if you ran from me. Which is part of the reason I will not let you go. Besides…. My ‘Other Job’ as you call it, is leading a garrison of angels. I am a soldier. And I would be ordered to hunt you down. But…. as we both know, I won’t do that. I’ll rebel before I hurt you. So…. Do me a _favor_ and stop trying to destroy me.:

I stared at my angel in surprise.

They’d explained that rouge/rebelling angels were caught and had their grace ripped forcibly from them. Making them basically a soulless human.

If I ran they would do that to Cas.

And to me.

Then who would look out for us? For Sammy?

I sagged onto the ground and tried not to cry. :So…. We have to- What? Pretend not to care about each other? Not talk? So I have to lose my only friend in order to protect everyone I care about? That’s- That’s _bullshit_!:

I punched the ground in front of me and cracks formed throughout the pocket dimension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eey whadya tink? Review and tell me.  
> Did you have (Are you having) a good weekend?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh I need to stop procrastinating! Sorry this took so long my lovies!  
> Here it is though! So enjoy!

I could see other angel’s, strangers, instantly crowd around the cracks to look in. I wanted them to see this.

I turned to Cas to put on a show, :You brought _others_? To _spy_ on me?:

The angel’s frowned, their mind connected to mine meant they had to know what I was doing. And they didn’t approve.

:Dean-:

I waved a hand and cut them off, :No! Get out! I don’t want to see you again!:

Cas didn’t move so I gathered up all my strength, manifested my wings and _pushed_ Cas as hard as I could.

They didn’t fight it and I saw them land outside of the dimension.

I shattered our place and the other angel’s formed a blockade around me.

Cas spoke to another angel who was shaped similarly. Four heads, four arms, six wings, but they were dark reds, like looking at the sun through your eyelids.

After Cas was done speaking the red angel moved within speaking range. I put up walls in my mind before I let them in.

:Dean Winchester-:

I cut them off by saying, :No. John Winchester is a human. I am not human. And I am not a Winchester. I am Dean.:

The angel looked annoyed at having been interrupted but nodded a head, :Dean. Are you rebelling? You’ve sent away the angel Castiel. Who was meant to make sure you don’t go rogue.:

I shook my head, :No. I simply felt I could do a better job of looking after myself. After all they did allow me to be put in a dangerous situation. One I can fix myself _and_ prevent the problem from reoccurring. The soul who ‘watches over’ myself and my charge suspects I am not human. I can change those thoughts to trust and remove all the sigils and wards both from his house and mind. Then I can continue looking after Sam.:

I paused and tilted my head to the right slightly, :I am meant to look after Sam. Am I not?:

The red angel inspected my words carefully and nodded slowly, :You are correct on all counts, Dean. But you are not _required_ to look after the abomination, Sam Winchester.:

I did not show my rage, just frowned, :I’m not?:

The red angel shook their heads, :No. We were supposed to watch him as we watched you. But John Winchester told you to look after the abomination. And since you _are_ an angel in a way you accepted the order without question. But should you wish to receive a new task you simply need to ask me.:

I nodded, :Alright. For future reference, _how_ do I ask you? I don’t even know your name.:

The red angel smiled, :Raphael. You need only reach out to me the way you reached out to Castiel, and ask me. And…. Castiel should have taught you this, but to _see_ an angel’s name, look at them through your Wing Eyes. Don’t do it when there are many angels nearby, you might strain your young eyes.:

I nodded slowly and cleared my throat, wings now held close to my back.

:May I return to my charge?:

Raphael nodded, :Yes. Though we will send an angel to make sure you are trained in all the necessary abilities, and that you continue to mature safely.:

I blinked in surprise, :You mean…. I’m still….. growing?:

Raphael nodded again, :You are still young. Much like your physical form you aren’t fully mature yet. Though in a few years you might be. You were placed in a human body from your first moments so you didn’t come into being fully grown, like most angels do.:

A soft but obvious chiming sound rang though the space around us and Raphael took a step back, :Return to your task. We are needed elsewhere.:

I nodded and flew away as quick as I could. The order driving me quickly.

My mind still connected slightly I felt Raphael’s approval at my speed.

I made it back to Bobby’s house in what seemed to be less than an hour since Cas and I left.

I gently dropped my connection with any angel and paused the goings on in the house.

I made my way into the house slowly and burning all the appropriate sigils and remaking the ones I could. These wouldn’t allow anything but myself and humans to sneak past them.

Then I fixed the panic room so all its warding allowed my movements.

Finally I turned to Bobby. The man I had felt closer to than my own dad. I rewrote his memories, so his wards were as they were now. Anti-angel warding had my name in it to let me pass.

I never set anything off. And I hadn’t come home after Jane left me. I had called from a motel in Minnesota, and told him to lie to Sammy for me. I made everything fool proof and safe. Then I flew the Impala and myself to the start of the driveway and let time resume.

When I drove up to the house and got out of the car Bobby came outside and embraced me.

It felt so good to be trusted again that I cried. Bobby let me cry and brought me inside for a beer.

Later Sammy came home and I told him my story about the motel and that I was sorry I’d had Bobby lie to him.

And slowly my life came back to me.

Bobby and Sammy trusting me and I was protecting them. That was right, the way it was supposed to be. I could feel my feather near Sammy’s heart and relaxed.

 

It had been suspiciously easy to Hunt with my angelic gifts so…. I’d stopped using them on Hunts. But I was still a good Hunter.

I took down entire Vamp nests myself and exorcised demons regularly. Ghosts and other low, weak monsters were painfully easy.

No angel had been sent to speak to me and it was almost two months since Raphael spoke to me.

It was driving me insane but I was playing good soldier.

Do as you are told. Wait until you get directions to do anything different.

Don’t draw attention to yourself.

So I waited on edge all the time. But I didn’t feel anything.

Then when I was cleaning up in the pond behind a Vamp nest someone cleared their throat behind me.

I spun around, wings mantling in surprise, angel blade in my right hand.

But it was a little kid, maybe ten or so.

I opened a couple Wing Eyes and sure enough, an orangish grace filled the little boy.

The angel smiled as their name slipped out of my mouth, “Samandiriel.”

The angel nodded, “You can call me Andy. And you are, Dean?”

I stood up a little straighter and  dropped my defensive posture.

“Yes. You’re here to make sure I know what I need to know? That I am not rogue?”

Andy looked me over and sighed, “Yeah. It’s odd, your name isn’t written in your grace. Castiel didn’t mention that.”

I winced at the name, Andy noticed.

“Oh, it bugs you to hear Castiel’s name?  It should. They talked about you to me before you threw them away. Now they do not say your name, but you can hear them thinking it sometimes.”

I was angry but I couldn’t show it.

“If Cas really spoke to you about me, you would not have just said that. “

The angel laughed, “Oh, Dean! This is so funny. You’ve only known happy Castiel. But currently, Castiel feels- and I’m quoting here- ‘Vindictive and frustrated’. That’s on you.”

I felt sick and glared at the orangish angel, “Do I need to ask Raphael for a different angel to speak with?”

Samandiriel spread four orange wings at me in a threat display.

“Dean.”

I felt odd at the invocation of my name.

“Tell me why you turned on Castiel. Tell me why you are playing dumb and obedient for Raphael.”

I clenched my jaw, “No.”

The angel looked shocked. “No?”

I crossed my arms, “Why should I? I say anything it could go directly to _any_ angelic ears. I can’t trust you.”

I was drawing attention to myself by disobeying, and sassing an angel. But I wasn’t going to endanger Cas.

They stared at me for a long time and I didn’t move, letting my grace speak for me.

Finally Andy sighed, wings tucking back, “Alright. I’ll back down. Castiel was right. Whatever choir you seem to be in you’re really much higher. Despite your wings.”

They gestured to me, “So, tell me everything you were taught and everything you figured out. We’ll go from there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What do you think?  
> Also what is your favorite song?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this is late my sweeties! I'm a moron and I've been really distracted and busy. But now I have this update! Although just to warn you. Unlike usual. I don't have anything written beyond this chapter so it may be another month before I can update. Hopefully not that long, but that's just the worst case senerio.
> 
> Alrighty! Well here's a chapy just for you sugar plumbs! I care about all of you and hope you are okay. If not I hope things get better.

I growled in frustration, :Andy! Some help would be nice?!:

I lay on the floor of my motel room shaking violently. Five minutes later the angel arrived wearing ‘the mom’ as they called her.

“Dean, it’s been a _year_ what-“ They stopped when they saw me.

“Oh! What’s wrong with you?”

 I paused my writhing to glare, “I don’t _know_! That’s why I called _you_!”

Andy shook their head, “Well I don’t know what’s wrong!”

I groaned in pain, “My whole _being_ hurts!”

The angel raised their hands palm up, “Hey, I don’t know anything about you! Why’d you call _me_?! Last time we talked we didn’t even _trust_ each other!”

I almost screamed as another shooting pain hit me.

“I only know _three_ angels!”

The angel whined, “But I’m not- what _ever_ you are! Castiel is higher, ask-“

I forced myself to sit up, “ _NO!”_

My wings _burned_ , and my back around them felt torn and bloody.

“Oh my! I-I-I need to call Castiel!”

Before I could move there they were, wearing that familiar vessel.

:Dean.:

Just the sound of them saying my name dulled my pain and I whimpered out, :Cas.:

My angel moved toward me then paused, :Dean, I-:

I couldn’t not look at them. It had been so long since I saw them.

Too long.

My memory wasn’t bright enough for such light, it I wasn’t already crying I would have started.

:Are…. You still angry with me?:

The words knocked the breath out of me and stilled the aching pains.

:What?: Was all I could ask.

Mad? Why would they think-

:You pushed me away last time I saw you. You said you never wanted to see me again. What did you _expect_ me to think?:

I sat up so I was almost leaning back against the bed and started to laugh.

A small hysterical sound that mingled with my tears and must have made me look insane. Then again I felt insane.

:I thought you knew.: I whispered.

The angel frowned, :Knew what? That you were going to Raphael how useless I was? That you were going to make a scene and make me look bad? No, Dean. I did _not_ know.:

I shook my head, :Cas-:

They flared all six wings at me in a display of aggression. : _Do not_ remove important parts of my name to suit you! I am an Angel of the Lord. I am _not_ yours. I am older than your Earth! And that means you should really respect me a _bit_ more, Boy.:

I almost told them the truth. That I was protecting them. But instead I closed my Wing Eyes and hid all my pain behind strong walls in my mind.

:I am sorry, Castiel. I’ll be fine. I’m sure you have more important things to deal with than me. May I ask why I am in pain, before you leave?:

The angel paused, looking me over they frowned, :A second set of wings is attempting to manifest. Samandiriel was right, you are a fledgling yet. I don’t know how to help you….:

They took a step back and shook their head, :You should be fine. Angel’s survive such things often.:

They paused again, looking closely at my bleeding back, :I-:

They frowned deeply, :I will leave my vessel here to ensure you do not die. Escort him home once you are able.:

The order was sharp and I found myself bowing my head. Then I looked up to see my- _the_ angel fly away.

The familiar man covered his mouth and nose with his hands making a gagging noise. I winced, I probably looked _horrifying,_ and the smell of blood was strong in the motel room.

I closed my eyes and crawled up onto the bed, face down, wings draped over everything in their way.

A hand on my upper back near my right wing made me scream in pain.

“Oh Fuck! I’m sorry! I was just trying to help!”

I whimpered as I moved to look at him, “Do you know how to help me?”

Those blue, blue eyes struck me as familiar and made me suddenly sad.

They looked _so_ much like Jane’s.

He shook his head, “I’m sorry. I mean….” He looked at my back, “I can see you are bleeding, but I don’t know why. Or how to fix it.”

I closed my eyes and wished I could say goodbye to Sammy, because I was sure the pain alone would kill me.

“Castiel said I was growing a second set of wings, but I should be fine.”

The silence that followed made me wonder if he’d left.

“ _Castiel_ is an _Asshole_.” I could tell by the feel of the words they were directed to Castiel directly.

Then he pressed both hands to my back but this time they felt hot, hotter than the pain.

I gritted my teeth as something in my grace _tugged_.

“Hold on, Angel. I’ve almost got them.”

I felt him _pull_ something free from my grace and out of my back. Now I was cold, my wings were freezing. All four of them.

“There.” He said softly, running his hands over my new wings slowly.

“Do you feel better?” He asked.

I felt numb.

“I feel like shit. But-”

For some reason his concern and help made me inexplicably sad. “Y-Yeah.”

But I was exhausted. As he smoothed and groomed my new feathers on my right wing I dropped off to sleep.

 

When I woke up it was to someone to cuddling me. I damn near purred as I tucked my face up under their chin and sighed.

But when they ran their fingers through my hair I remembered the night before.

Sure enough the guy was looking at me when I opened my eyes. I was held close to his chest and I blushed.

“Ummmm…. Hi.” I said clearing my throat.

He just took a deep breath and let go of me.

Once he was standing he cleared his throat, “So…. Why didn’t you tell them the real reason you pushed them away?”

I glared, “That’s none of your damn business. Who are you anyway?”

He just stared at me for a moment then turned away and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I sat up slowly, my back was very sore still but it was nothing compared to before that weirdo had pulled my new wings free.

I glanced back to see them and was surprised to see the new set was varying shades of green. Sorta like my eyes but much, much nicer.

I found myself wrapping my wings around myself and preening my own feathers.

I noticed the blood was still everywhere and sighed. I didn’t want the motel’s cleaner to freak out, so I wiped it all away.

Slowly I got up from the bed and shuffled over to the window. The sun was setting and I frowned, it had been dark when I’d called Andy. How long ago was that?

The bathroom door opened and the weirdo continued to glare at me oddly as he made coffee in the mini machine.

I frowned at him and carefully moved to the bathroom. When I closed the door and saw myself in the mirror I choked.

I looked horrible.

Pale with dark circles under my eyes and a tried slump to my body.

No _wonder_ that guy was looking at me weird.

I stripped out of my clothes slowly and stepped into the shower. The hot water made me moan, and eased the ache in my back.

I wanted to stay in the shower forever but when the water became cold I hurried up.

 

When I got out I looked a little better but I didn’t want to wear the same clothes as I’d woke up in….

I grumbled to myself as I twisted a towel around my waist and winced when I saw how thin I was. Normally I had a little flab from over eating. But lately I’d been eating only when someone was around. Bobby or Sammy.

I straightened up and slipped into the main room. That guy was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing the same pajamas Cas had borrowed him in.

I made my way over to my bag, and all while his blue eyes watched me.

I tried not to look at him as I grabbed some clothes and turned back to the bathroom.

I managed to take one step before he spoke, “Are you alright?”

I paused and stared at the door for a moment trying to decide how to respond. Then I looked him in the eyes and whispered, “No.” Before he could even blink I was in the bathroom, staring myself down in the mirror.

Why did I say that? Why did I say anything?

I shook my head and got dressed. When I stepped into the main room again he didn’t look at me.

I added my dirty clothes to my bag and made sure I had all my things before I turned to the guy and cleared my throat. He looked up sharply and frowned when he saw me holding my bag.

“Come on. We’re leaving. I wasn’t even checked into this room really, so……”

He stood and followed me outside. Once we were in the Impala I looked around, “So, where do you live?”

He looked at me like I was nuts.

I rolled my eyes, “I’d fly you there but…. I’m a little sore. So…. Where do you live?”

After a pause he sighed and looked at his hands, “Pontiac, Illinois.”

I nodded and started my car. “Cool, We’re in Michigan so we aren’t too far away.”

 

Six hours later I wished I’d risked flying. This damn guy hadn’t said a word, I still didn’t know his name and I had to pee.

I pulled over at a rest stop, much to the confusion of my passenger, and got out of the car quickly.

“Dean!” He called and I paused, “What? I’ve gotta pee!”

He shook his head and looked away.

I rolled my eyes and hurried to the toilet. When I got back to the car he was gone, but there was a note on the passenger side.

_Walking back. Take care of yourself, Dean._

I sighed, I still didn’t know his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think?
> 
> Also- Have any of you had a best friend who suddenly wont talk to you for years and years? Becasue I had one and I saw him the other day and now we are kinda talking again and I don't know if I'm happy about it or scared he'll vanish again.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhhhh! Sorry this took so long I've been kinda busy with work and things. But here's this new chapter! Sorry it's so weird, trying to advance the plot I didn't want it to be this long. Seriously I was supposed to be in season two by now and I'm not even at one yet! Bleh! Sigh. But hey you guys seem to like it. So I'll keep it up. But in a chapter of two we will make the jump and start season one!
> 
> Also I wont be able to get the next update up for a while. I don't know how long but I have a lot of stuff going on, as well as a full time job with weird hours. So! I will write when I can but I have one or two days off a week and I have to spend at lease one of those cleaning and such. I will do my best to write quickly and well but I have also started another fanfiction (Don't hate me) so I am spliting my writing time between the two.

“I don’t buy it, Dean. You don’t get so much as a scratch for over a year and now you’re trying to tell me a _single vamp tripped you_ and you got hurt?!”

I glared at Sammy and slurped my coffee, “Hey, it’s not like I’m proud of slipping up! The bastard saw an opportunity and took it. We- I- do the same thing to them all the time!”

Sammy looked at me like I had just claimed I was his mother.

“Dean. I just want to know you’re okay out there. I’ve been away from Hunting for… over a year. But I remember how dangerous it was to go out alone. Dad was stupid to Hunt alone. Everyone knows it’s reckless. But you are so good at it that we didn’t stop you. And until now you haven’t gotten hurt. But…. I want you to stop Hunting for a while. Take a break- you know?”

He looked so hopeful I almost didn’t want to lie. But I had to. People needed help and I could help them.

“Sure, Sammy. I’ll take a break but just a month, then I’m going back to it, alright? It’s not like I’m being selfish here, Sammy. I’m _helping_ people.”

My little brother looked so _mad_ at the last quip.

“Oh? You may be helping people, Dean. But how you think I’d feel if you died? Huh? I already lost Dad, I don’t want to lose you too!”

I wanted to scream that monsters couldn’t touch me if they tried, but I knew better.

“Sammy.”

I started, trying to stay calm, “I’m just trying to keep people safe. To keep _you_ safe. Because that’s all I can do. Now. I’ll take a month off, but that’s it. And if you push I’ll move out and keep Hunting.”

He looked like he was going to explode. So I carefully reached out a wing- one of my new green ones- and wrapped it over his shoulders like a blanket.

“I know you’re mad. But I have to do this.” I said quietly, trying to soothe him.

After a moment he sagged down on to the couch and stared down at his hands.

“I just had this horrible dream. You were screaming and in so much pain…. That was before you left. And then you came back hurt and I just…. I hoped it was just a dream.”

My guts turned to ice and I hurriedly opened my Wing Eyes. I wasn’t really sure but I thought I saw a sort of shadow in his soul.

I felt sick. I’d been trying so hard to protect him. But the Angels would see _that_ no matter how much shielding  I put around him. I’d have to do it soon.

Andy was supposed to be here in the next five months. Some time before my birthday.

For a moment I panicked, then I realized all I had to do was tell Sammy what we were and how to hide what he was.

But…. If they checked his mind…. Damn this was so stressful!

I must have stood there staring at Sammy for too long because he asked, “Dean? You don’t think I’m…. a monster. Do you?”

That snapped me out of my thoughts. “What? Hell no! You’re perfectly awesomely human. You’re my cool little brother. So you had a bad dream. Doesn’t make you Satan, Sammy.”

He looked at his shoes, smiling through the few tears in his eyes.

I pulled him into a hug, “Alright. A month and a half. Happy?”

He laughed weakly into my shoulder and nodded.

He was still shorter than me but not by much.

“Hey. Wanna make some dinner with your Big Brother?”

Sammy wiped the corners of his eyes and snuffled, “Can we make quiche? With bacon?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Let’s make sure we got the stuff, okay?”

 

Two days later and I was antsy to get back to Hunting. I’d turned down my angelic juice so I could waste time sleeping and eating. Making sure Sammy knew I was okay.

He’d panicked when he had noticed I wasn’t doing either. Started talking about depression and taking care of yourself “physically and mentally”.

I quickly mentioned that I’d never slept much and that when I was just sitting around I didn’t get as hungry.

“Dean, come on. When are you _not_ hungry?” Sammy whined.

I heaved a sigh and threw my hands in the air, “When I sit on my ass all day! Besides I ate all the chips and cookies. Isn’t that enough?”

Sammy frowned, “What cookies? And when did we get chips?”

I pointed at him triumphantly, “Ha! See you didn’t even get any! I’ve been eating! See? Now shut up about it!”

Sammy’s eyes slowly narrowed, “Well you’ve been eating only junk food so….. No! You’ve gotta eat _real_ food, not that junk.”

I groaned and flopped down on the couch, “But Saaaaammy! I’m fine! Really! Can I just…. Go…. Shoot some bad things and eat a burger?”

Sammy growled in annoyance, “ _No!_ Dean, it’s been _two_ days!”

I covered my face with my hands, “Fine! Can I at least have a beer, _Mom_?”

Sammy sighed, “If you let me make you something healthy to go with it.”

I nodded, “Sure.”

I never promised to eat it. I’d just put it in my mouth and send it outside somewhere. I had enough juice to do that without getting to hungry.

 

After a week I was reduced to pacing around the house and helping Bobby fix cars.

I had almost completely turned off my angel powers in the hopes that I would get tired and sleep the month away.

After another week I was flying to the library at night, because I’d read all _my_ books. I read Sammy’s books. I read news papers and ingredients lists on food.

I was starting to drive Sammy nuts when he was home too.

All Bobby asked was if I wanted to build him another shed with all my energy.

I wouldn’t have been worried about my pent up, unused grace except for Sammy’s eyes looking over my shoulder more and more.

If my wings were becoming visible that would be bad.

So every night for three days I would go outside and move whole cars with my grace.

I flew to a semi deserted bit of woods in Canada and grew trees over night for a week.

Then I only had four days left of my month left! I was more than half way free!

 

When I only had a week left I felt better. Soon I could go back to helping people!

But when I dropped Sammy off at school I felt an angel in the area and tightened my warding on Sammy as well as almost completely hiding my grace.

It was an unknown angel yet they felt familiar.

As soon as I got back to Bobby’s the other angel’s energy faded away. But I didn’t relax right away.

Dad’s care was parked outside Bobby’s house.

I felt both sickened and disbelieving.

I hoped it was just someone had found it and was returning it to us.

But when I got out of the Impala dad walked out the front door to meet me.

Arms crossed, glaring in a way that made me feel like I needed to puke up my empty insides.

Then he spoke, “You think because I disappear for a little while you get to stop working and let yourself fall to shit? Where’s Sam?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. What did you think? Do any of you forget to do something important a lot? I forget to eat. 
> 
>  
> 
> Update on "friend". I asked him if he remembered why we stopped talking last time and now he is ignoring me. Again.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez this took me WAY too long to update. I am so so sorry! I don't deserve you guys. And just a warning this chapter is in no way a happy one. The next chapter should be closer to happy than this one but I make no promises.  
> Sorry again this was so late.

I swallowed, “He’s at school. I-I just dropped him off.”

Dad snorted and shook his head.

“Dad, where have you _been_?!” I asked slowly.

He didn’t seem to hear me and stomped down the front steps to grab my arm. Muttering to himself he dragged me out to Bobby’s work shed.

I was glad Bobby was out food shopping, but at the same time I wished he was here.

When we got in the shed Dad threw me forward and slammed the door behind us. He was muttering louder now and I wondered if maybe he’d lost his mind while he was gone.

Then he spun towards me fast and poked at my chest as he spoke, “ _Who_ told you that you and Sam could _stop_?! Ridiculous! An angel for a son and he isn’t even Hunting! What good does _that_ do?”

I paled, “You know?”

He glared, “Of course I do. I’m a vessel. I would know! Now _you_ ….” He sneered at me, “You are just like your mother. A _demon_. But at least she was _smart_. And _good_.”

I frowned, “I’m not a-“

He back handed me and I forced myself not to step back. Was that why he hated me?

“Dad. I’m not-“

Another swing, but I caught this one. I was _so_ pissed, “ _That’s_ why you hate me?! Because you’re a _blind,_ _dumb_ vessel?! You can’t even see _wings_ can you? Or _grace_?”

He opened his mouth to yell but I unleashed my grace and flared my wings in the _physical_ world. The shed shook with the force of it.

He flinched back from the light that escaped me and stared at me in shock.

“But you….. look like your mother…..”

I snorted and let go of his wrist, “Do you make all your judgments based on appearance alone?”

I looked over his face for any sign of remorse. Any little flicker of  regretted that he’d treated me like a dog, a servant from the time Mom died til now.

But there was only shock, and anger. “I thought…. Since Mary liked you best… you were more hers than mine. Damn! I’ve been treating the monster better! Shoulda trained _him_! He’s a spoiled brat now!”

I just stared at him I didn’t even recognize this raving lunatic! He must have lost his mind. Where ever he was must have driven him crazy.

“Dad.” I tried to get his attention but he was just staring at the back wall, muttering.

“John.” He looked at me and narrowed his eyes. “Dean? Why didn’t you tell me you were my son? Why did you let me favor a demon?”

I clenched me fists and took a deep breath, “I didn’t know. And I thought you knew I was your son. And I’ve seen how you treat  Sammy. You call abandonment and starvation ‘favoring’? If not for me he might be dead! Or worse I’ve kept him safe, just like you _told_ me to!”

John- he wasn’t my dad, couldn’t be- shook his head slowly. “Why didn’t I see it? You were always so obedient, so trust worthy. Your brother was always disobeying and lying. Why didn’t I _see_ it! And why didn’t tell me? She could see these things!”

I took a step back and his away my wings, I let my grace fade away and shook my head, “Because she didn’t think you’d _care_. It didn’t _matter_ to her. We were her _sons_ , why would she? Hell! She _died_ protecting us, didn’t she?”

John snorted, “She didn’t ‘die’ doing anything because she’s not dead. They locked her up in Hell for her treason against them.”

I almost puked. Mom was alive?

“Why…” I wiped my eyes quickly, “Why did you tell us she was dead?”

I still felt sick but I was also mad.

He snorted, “I never said  she was ‘dead’. I just said she was gone and she wasn’t coming back.”

I couldn’t get over it. My mom was alive! I had to tell Sammy. But first, to deal with the lunatic who called himself my father.

“John, where have you been? I couldn’t find you. Tell me where you were.”

He looked like he wanted to yell at me about respect so I let my grace shine through my skin just a little. He saw it for the threat it was and cleared his throat.

“I don’t know. I was on a Hunt and suddenly I was somewhere dark and there was nothing I could touch or see, there was nothing. Then last night I was in my car in Minnesota.”

I frowned, “Thank you for telling me.” I tried to sound as much like a detached angel as I could, then I stepped forward and pressed two fingers to his forehead the way Cas taught me to.

He froze as I feed him a story about wanting a break and finding a small town in Oregon with a pretty waitress. I carefully altered our conversation so that it fit his previous view of me. I made him remember scolding me, slapping me around and sending me away.

No mention of angels or demons or Mary. A memory to match many he already had.

 

I left him there in the shed and went inside. I saw Bobby’s car coming down the driveway and bit my tongue for tears.

As much as I hated it I had to act as I always had after being yelled at. Hiding tears and very quiet.

So when Bobby came in the kitchen and saw me sitting at the table rubbing my eyes quickly he looked worried. I didn’t want to lie to him like this but I really had no choice.

Bobby couldn’t know the truth, the angels would remove those memories along with Sammy and possibly me.

It was too dangerous not to lie.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” He sounded hesitant. He knew I hated to be seen crying.

I snuffled and cleared my throat, “Umm…… Dad’s back.”

He didn’t respond and I looked out the window so I wouldn’t have to see how he felt about that. But I did see him jump in surprise when he heard john’s familiar stomping on his porch.

“Bobby, long time no see! I hope my boys weren’t too much trouble.”

At first Bobby just stared. Then he cleared his throat and set down the grocery bags he was holding, “Dean, can you give me a minute?”

I stood and walked upstairs to my room. Once out of their sight I allowed myself to be joyful. Mom was alive! I found myself laughing with how happy I was and covered my mouth so they wouldn’t hear me.

Without a thought I reached out to Cas too excited to use words, so I sent emotions and pictures.

Instantly they were slapped away, back at my face and I remembered. The anger and disgust that followed like a wave hurt more than any strike my ‘dad’ had thrown at me.

I recoiled, tucking my wings tightly around my body as a shield an burying my grace deep so the connection would be severed.

I sat very still in the corner of my room staring at the floor for a long time.

I winced when someone appeared in the room and I hid my face in my knees.

After a heartbeat Andy whispered, “Are you alright?” they were wearing the mom, which was mildly soothing.

I slowly peaked over my wing at them but I couldn’t respond. Castiel’s anger and disgust were still bouncing in my skull making it difficult to speak let alone breathe.

I opened and closed my mouth while trying not to cry.

Andy looked sad and worried, ”Dean, I’m so sorry Castiel did that to you. Myself and a few other angels are upset with them. That was unnecessarily cruel. Although your message was a bit loud it wasn’t anything but sweet. Those of us who heard it were glad for your joy . For them to respond the way they did….. There was _no_ reason.”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, “It’s…. it’s okay, Andy. I’m…. fine.” I sounded pathetic and could tell Andy thought so too.

But they didn’t say so. The angel simply nodded.

“Sure. Do you…. Want to get out of here for a little while? Until Sam is done with school?”

I blinked in surprise, “Ummm…. That sounds fine. Where-“

Andy pulled me to my feet, “A nice pocket dimension. Do you mind if I invite a few others?”

I shook my head, still trying to shake Cas’ emotions from my head.

“No, I don’t mind. Let’s go.”

I unfolded my wings carefully and kept a hold of the angels hand. Andy squeezed my hand and said, “Follow me.” I nodded and we took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who here likes rain?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gunna stop appologizing. My life as been hellish and messy. Appologizing at the start of every chapter wont make me update faster.  
> But seeing that I am still getting Kudos and comments even when I haven't posted in a while makes me wanna update faster. So! Here's the new chapter! Enjoy! And please comment and say whatever you would like.

Chapter 27

Nice was an understatement. 

The dimension was beautiful. Like something you'd see in a painting. Rolling hills, cute little ponds, clusters of trees. 

We landed on the top of a hill near some trees, a few other angels were relaxing there already and I found myself tensing at the sight of them. 

:Don't worry, Dean. They're my friends.: Andy soothed. I nodded and tried to relax. 

The other angels stood and waved a welcome. 

:Hello!: 

:Hey!: 

:Hi there!: 

They all called at once. I tried to hide my wings and attempted a smile. :Hey.: 

Andy stopped within touching distance of them and, while still holding my hand, introduced us. :Everyone this is Dean.: They responded with warmth and happiness. 

I relaxed a bit more. 

:Dean, this is Gabriel, Balthazar, and Ezekiel.: 

They all had attractive vessels and beautiful wings. 

Gabriel wore a lovely woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. They had three sets of wings; golden, slate gray and white. 

Balthazar wore an olive skinned man with dark wavy hair and dark eyes. They had two sets of wings; silver and navy blue. 

Ezekiel wore a tall, dark skinned woman with soft dark eyes and perfectly curled hair. They had two sets of wings; ocean blue and royal purple. 

Ezekiel stepped forward and held out both their hands to me. Acting on impulse I reached out with my free hand and let them hold it.

:Dean. I am…. So, so sorry for the way Castiel has treated you. I was there when they lashed out at you. That was horrible.: 

I swallowed hard and looked down at the long grass at our feet.

:I’m fine. You know…. I really shouldn’t have reached out in the first place. At least not without asking. And not after what I-:

Balthazar snorted cutting me off.

:Dean, no offense but shut up. Cassie was beyond stupid for reacting the way they did. Infact ever since the whole…. Pocket dimension…. Thing, you’ve been treated badly by the idiot. We can all see how much you like Cassie but-:

The angel paused and shook their head.

:But…. You shouldn’t let your treatment slide. You may think you’re protecting them like you’ve protected Sam but Cassie doesn’t need proe-: 

I pulled my hands free from Andy and Ezekiel, wings tense and half spread in stress, :You’re wrong.:

There was a long silence into which Gabriel asked, :Oh are we now?:

I raised my head and nodded.

:Cas told me…. In the dimension I made…. They would rebel before they let me get hurt. But….. I-I couldn’t let that happen! Cas would lose their home and all of you and….. I’m not worth that. So I made a scene and made Cas look bad.:

Gabriel sighed, :We know. Or…. We suspected. Even Raphael knew, they mentioned to Ezekiel that it made you easier to control, having two weak spots.:

Ezekiel nodded slowly.

I felt most of my anger leave me and I carefully folded my wings.

:Do…: I closed my eyes.

:Do you think Cas knew?:

The four angels remained silent for a long time before Balthazar cleared their throat.

:I think so. But Cassie might be playing the same game?:

The idea sounded lame. 

:That…. That would mean a great deal of-  _ over _ acting…. Wouldn’t it?:

I asked trying not to sound pathetic. 

Why couldn’t I be strong now? I’d stood up to “Dad”, and lied to other angels even if they didn’t buy it. Why would this one misunderstanding ruin me?

Andy rested a hand on my shoulder and whispered, :Maybe we should go now.:

I looked around at the others, :Yeah. But can we all meet up again? I think I might need talks like this. You know?:

Andy nodded, :Of course, Dean.: 

The angel took my hand again and as we took off I felt the others say their goodbyes. 

I shook my head. 

This was so weird. It all felt..... Rather faked. 

Maybe like a dream? 

I winced at the thought that maybe I was still in Bobby's horrible trap. 

Andy squeezed my hand, looking me over carefully before landing us safely back in my room.

Now I was  _ tired _ . 

:Dean...I'm sorry for the ways you've been treated by angels, myself included.....: 

Andy paused and looked down at my hand which they still held. :But most angels are better than what you've known so-: 

I pulled my hand free, :What are you talking about?: 

Andy sighed, :You shouldn't tie yourself to the first angel you meet. More so if they aren't good to you.: 

I shook my head, :I dunno what you're talking about. And I've got an hour before Sammy's done with school. So, I'm gunna nap....: 

Andy looked angry. :You shouldn't have to deal with people and angels hurting you, Dean! You're-: 

The angel couldn't find the right words and they looked so frustrated by it I had to cut them off, :Well you know you may be right, but uh.... I really don't have any way to stop the angels. Humans?: 

I held my hands out palms up, :Easy. Now I just mess with their memories and they are sure they did whatever they planned to do but really they just stood there while I did whatever I wanted..... Normally I just practice throwing scary shadows, you know?:

Andy was frozen still but their expression slowly slid into sadness and I worried they might cry. :Dean?: They asked eyes shining with tears.

I cleared my throat and shifted my feet nervously. 

:May I hug you?: 

I blinked eyes wide and confused, :Ummm..... Why?: 

Andy smiled slightly, :Because I think you might need it. I know I do because when I leave here I.... There's something I have to do. And I don't want to do it.: 

Now I was even more confused but also- 

:Yeah, okay. Come'ere.: 

I sighed holding out my arms and wings. 

Andy stepped close and i wrapped them in the nest hug I could. Andy whimpered a little and hugged me back, arms and wings wrapped around me tight. 

It felt.... It felt so.... Safe. So warm and safe and easy. 

I felt tears in my eyes and closed them tight. 

:Don't tell anyone I cried.: I whispered. 

Andy kissed the side of my head, :Don't worry, Dean. I'm on your side. I know you think crying is a weakness and you don't want to be seen as weak, so I won't tell. But I want you to know that some angels- the  _ best _ ones don't think of emotion as weakness.... They think of it as strength. The strength to show others how you feel.: 

I bit my lip and slowly, oh so very hesitantly, let myself cry. 

It had to be a trick of my tear stained eyes that made me see another angel standing near the door for a blink. 

:I think Michael would be proud of you if they met you.: Andy added as we broke the hug and stepped back. 

I frowned and wiped away my tears, :Who's- Michael?: 

Saying and hearing the name made my feathers fluff and my skin tingle. Like the feeling after you get shocked by an electric fence. 

Andy looked nervous and glanced upwards before whispering, :Your father.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you want to say to me? Hmmm?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMMMMMkay! So that was a little longer than I planned on waiting to post this but I'v been trying to find a second job to no avail, and working every shift I can. I work weird hours tho so I don't have a lot a writing time.  
> I will try as best I can to update faster. I know I keep saying that.  
> Anyway this chapter is pretty much a filler becasue I want to advance the plot with out skipping too much time. The next one will also be a filler chapter, but it will also be Dean's 22nd birthday!

In the three months since John came back I’d seen Andy twice. They had refused to explain what the hell it meant that Michael was my father.

As far as I knew angels couldn’t parent children aside from what Ezekiel had Nephilim. But Nephilim were killed as soon as an angel realized one existed.

They said it wasn’t anything to do with what they were, a human angel hybrid, but more to do with what they became if they are allowed to live. Destructive monsters that angels didn’t want to deal with again.

I’d asked Balthazar too but they just shook their head and shrugged, :Hell if I know.:

And Gabriel had ignored my question in favor of asking their own.

:Do you think Sam would think I’m hot?: I also ignored their question.

So I had no answer to the question of how an angel could be my parent, and it was driving me crazy.

Ezekiel talked to me the most and often tried to steer my thoughts away from Michael so I wouldn’t lose my mind.

:Dean, stop. We don’t know what it means or if it’s even true. No one has been able to figure it out and we aren’t even going to _try_ and ask Michael! So think about something else?:

They begged covering their eyes with both hands. I would normally have listened, but I was stuck on the memory of Cas talking about their brothers; Michael, Gabriel and Balthazar….

I shared the memory with Ezekiel who was suddenly quiet. :Is this why you-:

I glanced at them sharply, :Why I what?:

The angel gestured vaguely and then cleared their throat and looked away.

I narrowed my eyes at them. Why did so many angels get weird about Cas?

:Any way, I was thinking since no one else knows…. Has anyone asked Cas? I mean they called Michael their brother… Would they know?:

Ezekiel’s face was frozen in a sort of wince. :I think mentioning you to Castiel would be a mistake.:

I gritted my teeth. I was going to get over that asshole normally. No more mind bending.

But it hurt this way. I’d had very few friends  and when I lost them it was because they died. I didn’t know how to handle this kind of hateful abandonment.

:Why?: I asked trying not to sound like I was angry.

The angel shrugged, :Well…. Last week Andy mentioned to Castiel that you were doing well and… They kind of…. I don’t know…. Shut down?:

Now I was interested, :How?:

Ezekiel shrugged again and scratched the back of their head, :Well I mean they kind of refused to speak to anyone and eventually tucked themselves up in their wings to make everyone leave them alone.:

I didn’t say that sometimes I felt like doing the same thing, instead I nodded slowly and sat down at the kitchen table.

:Alright. So that’s out.:

Ezekiel watched me for a moment then took a deep breath, :So…. What time do I have to be gone by?:

I glanced at my watch, :Um, John said he’d be back by 10am so you have less than half an hour. But you know you can leave Sandra here. John has already checked into her and knows her family has hunters. He knows she works at a newspaper and helps me find hunts. Besides she’s cool and stuff.:

Ezekiel took a moment and looked inward, :She said something about a work lunch? At 2pm….:

I sighed, :Oh, okay. Jeez I need more friends.:

The angel shrugged again, damn they did that a lot. :I’m sorry, Dean. We try to find time but…. Our vessels have lives too and we have tasks as the Host of Heaven you know.:

I waved them off, :Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m just whining. Go on. Enjoy your work you two.:

Ezekiel sighed and stood. I couldn’t help thinking how Cas has _always_ been there. To talk or spend time.

Ezekiel paused and frowned at me, :Did you say something?:

I blanched and shook my head, :Nah.:

Damn, I needed to be quieter. Ezekiel waved and took off.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Cas had a sort of shut down? Damn, I was so fucking horrible.

This was my fault. I was the one who made Cas talk to me.

I was the one who fucked everything up and ruined our friendship.

I thought about everything I’d done to the angel and tried not to cry.

I heard John’s car park out front and I took a deep breath.

I opened the fridge and pulled out the makings of breakfast.

John must have gone for a walk or something because I had the bacon cooling on a pile of paper towels and several pancakes done by the time he stomped in.

Glancing at the clock I realized it was almost noon. Not only had I been sitting at the table wallowing in self hatred for an hour but John had been sitting in his car for an hour.

I turned to face him as he trudged into the kitchen.

“Hey. How’d the hunt go?” I asked pressing a silver blade to his arm. He grumbled something unintelligible and sat in a chair at the table.

I handed him a cup of holy water. He drank it quickly and muttered, “Coffee?”

I nodded and fixed him a large mug of black coffee.

Sammy appeared in the kitchen door and flopped  into a chair across from John.

“Mernen, Da.” He mumbled as I placed his coffee in front of him. He smiled sleepily up at me, “You’re the _best_.”

I snorted, “You’re only sayin that because I made you breakfast and coffee.”

He shook his head, “Not really.”

Bobby clomped down the stairs and  into the kitchen as I set the pancake and bacon plates on the table.

“Mornin all.” He said with a sigh.

He got his own coffee, ruffled my hair and sat across from me.

I really loved calm Saturday breakfasts with my family.

“How was your Hunt, John?” Bobby asked, drowning his pancakes in bacon and syrup.

John sighed, “There wasn’t even a ghost. Just some kids scaring people away from an old house they were using as a playhouse. The most dangerous thing there was the rotten floor boards.”

He scrubbed his face with his hands and shook his head, “I salted and burned the place after I chased the kids out. Don’t want ‘em fallin through the floor or some shit.”

We all nodded, agreeing with his judgment.

He looked at me and cleared his throat, “How about your Hunt, Dean?”

My vampire nest clean out on Thursday had been easy.

“Well it was just another Vamp nest. Lure them away one by one and burn the Nest when they’re all dead.”

I looked down at my plate and shook my head , “But… This nest…. They had _kids_. Four little kids. That made it harder.”

Sammy patted my shoulder comfortingly and John sighed.

“Four kids? These fucking _Monsters_!”

Bobby grunted in agreement and I shoved food into my mouth.

Bobby watched me for a minute or so as Sammy talked about school.

When there was a pause in conversation Bobby asked, “So, Dean, how’s Sandra?”

I raised my eyebrows, “You… You were asleep! How’d you know she was here?”

Shit! We hadn’t even been talking out loud…. Had we? Then I saw her note book on the counter and relaxed. I’d have to return that.

John watched me out of the corner of his eye.

I sighed when Bobby just smiled, “She’s fine. She came by to show me some potential hunts. We got to talking about nonsense shit until she left to get to a work lunch.”

John set down his fork, “So? She have anything?”

I shook my head, “Just a vamp nest near Marco. I called him and let him and let him know. He’s taking five others for back up and hittin them about now.”

Sam stood and collected plates and we all went about our respective Saturday.

Bobby and I worked in the shed, John watched Tv and Sammy went to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h
> 
> Tell me what you do for your birthday. What's your birthday tradition?


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy look at this! I managed to post a new chapter within a week! Are you proud of me?

I woke slowly, aware that it was cold outside and no one else was awake.

I licked my lips and stretched, rolling over to look at the clock I sighed.

It was 6am on my birthday.

I was 22.

Normally that wouldn’t mean much.

A present from Sammy, Bobby and maybe John. But today John was on a demon hunt in Florida.

He wouldn’t be here. But Sammy had school and Bobby had to work. We’d all sat down yesterday to discuss what we were going to do.

They’d both gotten me a present of sorts. But I told them I was gunna have lunch with Sandra, Ann Marie, Alex and Joanie.

Which was true. But after that Ezekiel, Gabriel, Balthazar and Andy were going to celebrate with me as well.

I crawled out of bed and got in the shower. I got dressed as quickly as I could and made some coffee.

While I drank my coffee I sat in the kitchen and thought about my friends.

We were an odd bunch.

Sandra was an 18 year old newspaper employee.

Ann Marie was a 21 year old waitress.

Alex was a 22 year old bass player in a garage band.

And Joanie was a 30 year old suburban mom.

An odd group that would be difficult to explain if any non-hunters asked how we knew each other.

And even if we had a real enough story…. They all knew each other because of me.

As for my other friends?

They were so old there wasn’t even life on Earth when they were born.

And Andy had introduced them to me. Besides that they tended to be tight lipped about what their “jobs” were.

Sammy stumbled into the kitchen and draped himself over my shoulders, his head resting against my neck.

“G’mernen, Dean. Happy Berfday.”

I smiled fondly and reached up to pat his head, “Thanks, Sammy. Want some coffee? Are you hungry?”

Sammy sighed happily, then quickly stood up straight, eyes wide.

“No! I can do it! It’s your birthday!”

I snorted, “Sammy, I _like_ taking care of you. You know that, right?”

He paused, then grinned and hugged me tight. “I love you too, Dean.”

I blinked in surprise then blushed and smiled.

“So…. You hungry?” I asked again.

Before my little brother could say no, his stomach snarled in the quiet kitchen.

After a beat of silence we both laughed.

I made my brother breakfast and made sure he left for school on time.

Bobby came down around the time Sammy was getting dressed and smiled when I handed him breakfast.

“How’d you sleep?” I asked after he’d congratulated my birth.

He sighed, “Oh, fine. But I was happier when I woke up.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Why?”

He smiled softly at me, “The best way to wake up is hearing your kids laughing.”

I let my eyes get blurry with tears then I hugged him to hide the water on my face.

Sammy left shortly after that, making me promise to be home at night so he could give me my present.

Then Bobby patted my back and said, “I left your present in your room before I came down. You have a good day now, you hear?”

I smiled, “I’ll try my best.’

He hugged me again and went outside to work.

I went upstairs to see what my present was and found it on my bed.

A soft brown leather jacket. It was awesome! I giggled like a kid as I put it on over my black t-shirt.

It fit perfectly with a little room to grow.

Today was a good day.

 

I the car I realized I wouldn’t make it to the restaurant on time. All the breakfasts and chatting had slowed me down.

“Well, good thing I have wings.” I told myself and carried myself and my Baby with my wings to a secluded back road less than a mile from the restaurant.

I drove the rest of the way there and found my friends waiting outside.

“Dean! Happy Birthday! You’re early!” Joanie called across the parking lot.

I grinned as the others turned to face me.

“Dean!” Sandra shouted with a wide smile. Ann Marie jumped up and down. And Alex ran at me to crush me in a hug.

They all hugged me and congratulated my birth before Joanie herded us inside.

She made sure we were all seated and comfortable and I wondered who was the most difficult of the group to play Mother Hen to.

Alex spilled coffee all over the table and almost on himself and I settled him down, “Alex, no. It’s fine. You talk with your hands, that’s cool. And everyone’s fine so chill out.”

Joanie shit me a smile and I blushed.

 _I_ was the most difficult to look after….. Because I was doing the same thing she was.

But raising someone makes a hard habit to break.

“Hey, Dean! Dean!” Ann Marie whispered waving her hands excitedly.

I laughed, “What’s up?”

She grinned, “I heard Gabriel mention something…. Interesting to Samandiriel yesterday.”

Joanie shot her a worried look.

“They said- _Michael_ was talking to them about _you_!”

I looked up sharply.

Joanie looked like she wanted to interrupt but the younger woman was too fast.

“Michael said that you are ‘stronger than anticipated’ and they were amazed at how ‘original’ you are!”

I felt equal parts excited and confused.

Why’d Gabriel slip up like that? The angels had been careful to hide all things ‘Michael’ from me. And _now_ they mess up?

I grinned any way.

“Dang! I must be _pretty_ cool for an _Archangel_ to think I’m strong and original.”

I gave Joanie a look. She had the other side to this story, and I needed it. But she was looking out the window pointedly.

Our waitress came out with our food and all mention of angels, Arch or otherwise stopped for a while.

We ate and talked about our lives, and plans for the upcoming week.

It felt really good to relax like this. We were just who we were.

Alex talked about his band’s next gig with Ann Marie, since she actually liked his music.

While Sandra and Joanie asked me questions about Hunting.

I tried to hold onto every wonderful second but that seemed to only make the time go by faster. Until our three hours were up.

Joanie needed to pick Matt up from school and Ann Marie had to work the closing shift at her restaurant.

Alex didn’t _have_ to be anywhere, but he said he’d had a really good for one of the songs he was working on.

Sandra didn’t have to be anywhere either, but she also didn’t have ‘a reason to stay’.

“Not when everyone else was leaving. Besides They’re coming to spend time with you, right?” Sandra asked when she noticed my frown.

I bit my tongue to stop myself from mentioning my friends wore each other to see me.

“Yeah. We’re meeting in the pocket dimension later. Do you guys need a lift back?”

Everyone looked excited by the idea.

They all piled into my Baby and I asked who lived closest.

 

Normally lifting my Baby and carrying her a few states over was no problem.

But with four extra people- four _souls_ to lift I almost dropped her when we got near Alex’s house.

Everyone shouted in excitement and laughed. I tried not to pant obviously.

Joanie noticed, “Dean? Are you alright?”

The laughing stopped and my friends looked me over with matching frowns.

I grinned weakly, “yeah, You guys are just heavier than I expected.”

Ann Marie smacked my shoulder with a smile, “Rude!”

They relaxed and laughed.

“But really…. Are you alright?” Alex asked as I started my Baby up.

I nodded, “Souls are…. Heavy? I’ve never actually carried four before- It was….. A lot. I just need to breathe.”

Sandra cleared her throat and started asking Alex about the song he was working on. I was glad of her distraction.

I was a little more careful the next three landings, not that my human passengers noticed the difference.

It was the difference between nearly dropping a box of glasses and setting it carefully.

It made me think I should practice carrying more. Maybe not souls. Four _willing_ souls was my limited supply.

But I could move abandoned cars or buildings….

Ann Marie was last out and when we pulled up in front of her parent’s house she cleared her throat.

“I also wanted to tell you, Gabriel-“ She glanced up like Andy did.

“Gabriel mentioned something to another angel about you and Castiel having a ‘strong annoying bond’. I’m not sure what that means…. But I figure you should know.”

I swallowed hard, “You… Aren’t supposed to tell me this stuff…. Are you?”

She glanced up again and I held a green feathered wing over her head. She couldn’t see it but she relaxed.

“I don’t know. Gabriel stopped hiding things after they talked to Castiel a few days ago…. That angel…. They looked so sick, Dean. I’m not sure what’s wrong with them, but it looks like Hell.”

I clenched my hands on the steering wheel and took deep breaths.

She rested a hand on my shoulder and I looked at her trying to hide my emotions.

“You look the same sometimes. It’s scary. You aren’t dying are you?”

I snorted and let go of the wheel to run my hands through my hair.

“No. Just….. A really painful broken friendship. Honestly I don’t know why this hurts so much but….”

I sighed and looked back to my friend, “I dunno.”

She was frowning.

“I thought you two used to date?”

I winced, “Mmmm no. I didn’t date Cas.”

She pursued her lips and nodded, “Alright. Well I’ve gotta get in. Happy Birthday, Dean.”

I smiled, “Thanks, Ann Marie. Hope you get a shit ton of tips tonight.”

She laughed and got out of my Baby. I made sure she was inside before I drove away.

I liked knowing someone I cared about got inside safely.

It probably came from knowing what was out there.

I carried my Baby almost all the way home before I realized I’d have to leave it somewhere else to hang out with my other friends.

I groaned and decided to _drive_ my car to a parking lot. My wings were _tired_ , and it was a _car_ damn it. It should be _driven_!

Baby purred at being driven further than usual and I found myself smiling absurdly.

I had friends. Eight friends who _wanted_ to spend time with me. My family was together and settled for the most part.

It still bothered me that my mom was in alive and in Hell- but I couldn’t get to her there, Sammy wouldn’t want me to try just to get lost or hurt.

So, for him, I didn’t even try. It hurt but…. I needed Sammy more than her. And he needed me…..

Although maybe not as much. He was growing up so quickly and so nicely.

He held the door for people, said please and thank you _almost_ too much. He tried his best at school as well as work. He took good care of his friends and didn’t really have any enemies.

All in all my life was pretty damn good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter most likely wont be up this consistenly. I don't have it waiting and ready like I had this one. And I had this idea for another AU.......  
> I'll try not to let it distract me. But for sure I'll keep writing.  
> I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h
> 
> What do you guys think about the "prizes" on my patreon (If you looked). What do you think would be a good prize or at least a better one?
> 
> If you didn't look at my patreon tell me where *you* think this story is going. 
> 
> You can respond in any way you want. I just hate shouting into the void and seeing everyone staring back silently. =/


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late. I am dumb. I will do better (for realizies)  
> I love you all!

With my Baby parked at a bar I flew slowly to the pocket dimension.

Ezekiel was waiting already but surprisingly they weren’t wearing Sandra or anyone. The seemingly shapeless bundle of Purple universal energy was my friend.

:That is…. Amazing. I’m gunna need some time to process this.: I said softly, leaning on a tree near the angel.

Ezekiel laughed, multidimensional wings moving to express their emotions in a new way.

:You seem surprised. I suppose seeing an angel like this for the first time would be shocking.:

I nodded, :Like seeing a friend naked. Surprising but…. Not weird. Although I was only surprised because I wasn’t expecting you to be ‘naked’.:

The angel paused, :Who else have you seen like this?!:

I got the impression that being ‘naked’ like that wasn’t… common.

:Ummm…. Cas appeared to me in a pocket dimension, I thought it was just a dream, the first time I saw them. But I also saw Raphael like this when… When I met them.:

Gabriel flew in also ‘naked’.

:Yay! Nudity! Your turn, Deano!: They teased settling next to Ezekiel.

:Gabriel, Dean saw Castiel in Grace form the first time they really met! Same with Raphael!:

I felt them staring and looked up at the grand blue sky.

:I don’t know why Castiel did that. But Raphael was probably trying to intimidate him.:

I cleared my throat, :And….. Why would Raphael try to intimidate a young thing like me?:

The angels looked at each other and cleared their throats, not that they even had throats…..

:Well for the time you’ve been alive….. You’re an amazingly advanced angel, Dean. Most angels would still be on their first set of wings at your age…..: Gabriel seemed both amused and annoyed.

:Except for Archangels. We’re special though….:

I chewed my lip and thought about that. Michael was an Archangel…. And my father…. I was the child of an Archangel…..

:How big is the gap between Archangels and other angels?: I asked slowly.

Gabriel grinned and responded with joy. :Huge. You’re the closest to a middle we have if you continue to grow in strength as you age.:

Ezekiel was silent and I could tell they were worried about our topic. But they weren’t going to tell us to shut up, not by any means!

Gabriel’s golden form seemed to nudge Ezekiel’s when they noticed the silence as well.

:What’s a matter, bro?: The Archangel teased.

Ezekiel shifted uncomfortably, :I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about these things?:

Gabriel waved the other angel’s complaint, :What could it hurt?:

The silence that followed made me uncomfortable and I was glad when Andy’s orange light flew near  followed closely by Balthazar’s green.

:Whoa, what’s this weird silence for? It’s Dean’s Birthday! It’s party time!: Balthazar exclaimed as they landed.

Ezekiel took the opportunity to blurt, :Castiel _and_ Raphael were without vessel when they met Dean for the first time!:

Balthazar laughed and Andy shook their head, :Castiel doesn’t know how to be subtle, never really has. And Raphael just wanted to look cool to him. He knows what humans expect angels to be….:

That caught my attention, :He? I thought angels had no gender?:

They all paused.

:Ah well, that’s a very- simple- way to explain it.: Andy sighed.

Ezekiel nodded and explained, :Most angels assume the gender of their vessel, but…. We don’t have actual genders because we do not sexually reproduce. Some angels choose not to have a gender even while using a vessel. That’s fine. You….. Have a…. Different problem as your Grace is tied to your vessel and it is male. Most angels would accept that as their gender but…. For you it might make your identity more…. Complicated. How…. What do you feel like? If you do at all.:

I absorbed the angel’s words carefully and tried to put my response into words.

:Well…. I….. I don’t generally feel like one or the other…. I feel…. somewhere in between male and female. But….. I don’t know. It changes sometimes. Well…. Often….:

The angels nodded in understanding and I relaxed a little.

It was normal. Kinda…. Minus the fact that we weren’t human.

After a moment of silent thought I cleared my throat, :So…. Do you have the views on gender Ezekiel mentioned? It matched who you’re wearing?:

Gabriel and Balthazar laughed and Ezekiel shook their head and  smiled. Andy was covering their ‘mouth’ but they were laughing too, as far as I could tell.

Gabriel answered first, :Well I do. And I’ve been wearing women for a long, long time so I guess I’m female.:

Balthazar while still laughing said, :Yeah. I guess that works for me. I haven’t had one gender more than the other….. but  I do match the one I’m ‘wearing’ whichever it may be.:

Andy nodded but waved a hand, :I like being a woman. I mean, yeah. Eventually I’ll be wearing Matt instead of Joanie, but…. I feel more feminine.:

I absorbed all this new information as best as I could. It felt more relaxed now.

Ezekiel’s wings fluffed at the pause and they ‘blushed’. :I’ve found that I don’t feel like either one really, but…..:

Gabriel brushed her golden wing against Ezekiel’s purple one and they smiled at each other before Ezekiel continued.

:But I am more comfortable being called a man, even though I don’t feel like I have a gender.:

The following silence was comfortable and pleasant, then Balthazar cleared his throat.

:Well! Boys, girls and flowers, we still have to celebrate Dean’s 22nd birthday!:

Andy nodded, :Dean what would you like from us?:

I paused, what did I want? For Sammy not to be a demon. But I couldn’t say that. :Ummmm…..:

I wiggled my wings and tried to stall, but a twisted feather made me hiss.

:Want your wings groomed? We could each take a wing and-: Andy cut off when she saw my dark blush and confused expression.

:Dean?:

I cleared my throat, :Ummm… That’s…. I mean…..:

Ezekiel frowned, :Dean? What’s wrong?:

I cleared my throat again and looked around a lot before I muttered, :That’s a little personal isn’t it?:

Andy and Ezekiel shook their heads slowly with a worried looks.

Gabriel extended her wings carefully towards me, :No. Wing grooming is a social thing. Like hugs and kisses with your family….:

Then Balthazar stepped forward, :Why do you think it’s personal, Dean?:

The angels all froze with scared expressions like they almost didn’t want to hear my answer.

I couldn’t bring myself to _say_ that it was sexual. So I showed them my two memories of wing grooming. First with Cas that first meeting, and then with the human….. the memory of who it was, was messed up to the point where all I knew was their eyes were a beautiful blue.

The four angels took both memories and turned them over and over until I was worried they’d tell me I was broken, or just a nasty kinky sonuvabitch.

Eventually they all looked at me simultaneously, :It won’t’ be like that, Dean.: Andy assured.

But I was worried now, damn it!

:But why did _that_ happen?!:

Gabriel was the quickest to answer, :Because that was your Grace reacting to a potential mate…. We are your friends…. Your Grace doesn’t want us like that….:

I couldn’t respond for a few minutes, then it clicked, :You mean to tell me that my _Grace_ wants me to _bang Cas_?!:

Balthazar snorted, :Basically.:

I felt next to tears, :It that why it hurts not to see them?: I winced when I realized I’d asked that out loud.

Andy reached out, suddenly wearing Joanie, and started grooming my left green wing. Ezekiel started on my right green wing after putting on Sandra. And slowly the awkwardness melted away.

Gabriel put on AnnMarie and took my right amber wing. Leaving Balthazar, now wearing Alex, to groom my left amber wing. They were right of course, it wasn’t anywhere near as sexual as I thought it would be.

It was disturbingly intimate, Like Gabriel had said, like kissing or hugging a family member. But…. While you were remembering naked hugging and kissing your sweetheart. Weird.

But at the same time it was as relaxing as a scalp or back massage. I almost fell asleep by the time they were done.

The fact that they all decided to snuggle up to my sides and layer their wings over me made it impossible _not_ to sleep.

 

I woke when my Baby hit a bump in the road. I frowned and opened my eyes. Ezekiel was driving.

Before I even tried to speak he cut me off. :Castiel shouldn’t have done that. They know better.:

I licked my lips, he was feeling chatty.

:Done what?:

He shook his head and for a while it was silent. Then he whispered, :He had to know how you’d react…. And he met you without a vessel.:

Cas was a guy? I tried not to shiver and failed. :Cas seemed genuinely confused and uncomfortable about it…. And later mentioned it to….. s-someone in a conversation. I don’t think they did it on purpose.:

Ezekiel frowned but didn’t take his eyes of the road, :Don’t defend Castiel.:

I sighed and looked out the window until we got close to Home.

:I can drive home from here, Zeke.: I offered and he focused on me instantly.

:You gave me a nickname!:

I blinked unsure how to answer, :yeah?:

He grinned and pulled my Baby over.

:You gave Castiel and Samandiriel nicknames and you are close with them….. I mean….:

I shook my head, :Don’t look too much into it.:

He nodded and didn’t stop grinning.

:Happy Birthday, Dean.:

I nodded, :Thanks.:

Then he was gone. I didn’t know what to do with all these angels. The smallest things made them happy and the oddest things made them worry.

So Cas had met me in Grace form and groomed my wings. So it got me off. So what. I’d been 19! Hot showers got me off at 19!

I started my Baby and drove home lost in thought. My mind was on Cas and the fact that my Grace- the essence of _me_ wanted Cas.

I parked in front of the house and forced myself to think happier thoughts. After all I _did_ spend the day with my friends.

And now diner with my family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but I managed to get it done so I figured it would be good to get that shit posted.  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> I do not own any of the awsome shit Dean mentions in this chapter such as the movie and book. I DO NOT OWN SHIT!  
> I don't even have a soul =D

As soon as I stepped inside I smiled genuinely. The house smelled like pie and the radio was playing.

Sammy leaned out of the kitchen and grinned, “Hey! Happy Birthday, Dean! How was your day?”

I sighed happily and hugged my brother. “It was nice. How ‘bout yours?”

He shrugged, “Eh, you know. Do you want your present now? I’ll get it!” Then ran upstairs at light speed.

I shook my head and went to the kitchen where Bobby was making steaks and potatoes. A pie was cooling next to the fridge.

“Hey, Bobby. Smells great! Is that a pie I see?”

Bobby smiled, “Yup. But that’s desert. So while it _is_ your birthday you’ve still gotta wait til after diner.”

I laughed and sat at the kitchen table.

“Didja have fun with your friends today?”

I nodded then realized he wouldn’t see it.

“Yeah. It was great.”

Sammy thundered down the stairs and threw himself into the chair next to me.

“Here!” He panted holding out a rectangular wrapped present. It even had wrapping paper, not newspaper!

Everyone was going all out this year…..

I stopped thinking about Cas before I could start and took the present.

I carefully unwrapped it to save the paper. Inside the box was a long sleeve green shirt with a few buttons at the collar. Under the shirt was a book.

I looked at the cover art first. People always said ‘never judge a book by the cover’ but I could _always_ tell if I’d like a book by the cover art.

There was a blond woman holding a blue ball and a feather on a sort of dessert background. A small angle was on the horizon.

I opened the front cover to read the blurb inside and found myself grinning. I’d never read any of Sharon Shinn’s books but ‘Archangel’ seemed like as good place to start as any.

“Sammy, this looks awesome!” My little brother bounced in his seat, 18 and still just a little kid.

“Oh, I’m _so_ glad you like it! It took em forever to find one that wasn’t erotic, or fake-y. And since it’s on another world and there isn’t much angel lore I figured this would be perfect!”

I shook my head, “Sammy, you care more about correct lore in a book than I do!”

He shrugged, “I’m not gunna but you a book I wouldn’t buy for myself.”

I was about to bring up how he didn’t even _read_ sci-fi when Bobby put plates of food on the table.

“Alright, you two. Enough of that. Let’s eat.”

 

After dinner we watched an awesome old movie about a time traveler called, ‘The Time Machine’. We also ate some pie, it was cherry. Which was my favorite!

But then Bobby went off to bed and Sammy cleaned up the kitchen.

“Do you wanna watch something else when I’m done?” He asked over his shoulder. I ran a hand through my hair, “Mmmmm….. Nah. You’ve gotta work in the morning and I wanna go outside and look at the stars.”

Sammy frowned, “Dean it’s winter….”

I waved him off, “Sammy, I’ve been outside before. And I’ve got a good jacket. Besides…. It’s not like I’m gunna sleep out there.”

My little brother rolled his eyes. “I know all that, Dean. But can’t you look form inside?”

I paused, “What’s up, Sammy? Why don’t you want me to go outside? I can’t stay in forever, you know.”

He glared at me, “I dunno. I just….. I have a bad feeling about you being outside tonight….. That’s all. But if you wanna go out- Whatever. It’s your birthday, do what you want.”

I sighed heavily, “What kind of a bad feeling? What, are you, psychic now? Can you see me getting attacked by aliens?”

It was meant as a joke but Sammy paused. “Ummmm… All I know is there is Blue and you are mad at it? It…. Makes you cry….”

Oh shit. That sounded like what would happen if Cas and I talked…. Which meant Sammy could see a possible conversation with Cas and me?

Was my lock on his power breaking? I quickly checked it, but there was nothing wrong with the contained demonic powers. I realized I hadn’t responded and shook my head, “I dunno what that means…. So I’m gunna read on the couch for a bit.”

Sammy chewed his lip and watched me until I got to the couch.

“You- You’re gunna stay inside?” He sounded a little worried.

“Sammy, if it makes you happy I’ll stay inside.”

He nodded slowly then went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. I started reading the book but found that I was tired. I got through the first chapter and then I fell asleep holding the book over my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but good?
> 
> Also I put the movie and book in because I think Dean might like em, nooooo other reason, and I DON'T own them! They aren't mine!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	32. Chapter 32

I woke by the orange skied lake and frowned. :I though I destroyed this place?: I murmured, looking around to see if anyone else was here. But no one was in sight.

I relaxed again at the familiar surroundings and let my wings shake out. And while I may not have made this pocket dimension I _could_ alter it.

So I made the sky look like the stars above home. This wasn’t _really_ outside….. Was it?

I laid on the  picnic table and looked up. Somehow looking at the stars felt calming.

I let my thoughts wander over my day and sighed.

First of all what did it mean that Cas was a “potential mate”? Besides the obvious.

But was it one sided? Did Cas not feel the same? Did _I_ feel anything? I frowned and closed my eyes.

The thought of Cas as they had been before our incident made me think my Grace knew a thing or two…. But now…..

Thinking about Cas made my lungs ache. I thought- not for the first time- that I should tell Cas what I had been trying to do.

They may not listen but- I should try.

I reached for the blue grace that made me shiver and tugged gently. It seemed like the equivalent of tapping someone on the shoulder.

Sure enough moments later Castiel was there wearing the guy from last time. The vessel wore another pair of pjs but Cas still looked intimidating.

:Dean.: The angel sounded…. Nervous?

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the table to rest my feet of the seat, :Hello, Castiel.:

It may have been my imagination but I thought I saw them wince. I wanted to comfort them until I remembered what had happened last time I’d gotten distracted.

:I wanted to tell you why I did…. What I did. Why I ruined whatever it was we were.:

I could _see_ them hide their emotions and quickly continued.

:You said that I had to be careful because we were being watched and not a minute later you said you’d Rebel before you’d hurt me. So I tried to protect you too…. We- We were still mentally linked as I thought you knew what I was doing. I would pretend to be angry with you and they’d talk to us and what not….. But then we’d still talk and get burgers and fly together. But…. Obviously that didn’t work.:

Over the course of my explanation Cas’ expression got  more and more horrified. When I was done explaining the silence stretched on and on.

Eventually they shook their head, :I rarely looked further than the surface of your thoughts because it seemed…. Rude.:

I swallowed the lump in my throat and ruffled my hair in annoyance. :So…. I have a question, and it’s…. pretty off topic. But when someone is your ‘potential mate’…… Are you theirs too?:

Cas’ eyes widened and their mouth moved silently. After a pause they shook their head, :Yes…. It’s not a one sided connection like human ‘love’. It’s a built in way for two graces to recognize each other as companionable and…. I don’t want to say ‘made for each other’ but Father did create us so…. We all have a ‘Mate’.:

I blushed at the look Cas was giving me.

:Oh. Okay…. Well…. That’s everything _I_ wanted to talk to you about…. Did…. Did you want to talk to me about anything?:

Cas looked me over and gestured to my wings.

:I wanted to say I’m…. Very sorry for just leaving you to deal with your wings on your own. I have never done something so cruel before. And I wish I could undo that.:

I cleared my throat as my feathers fluffed, :Well, you did leave- your vessel to help me… which was awkward, yet better than being alone.:

They gave me a knowing and anguished look that I _almost_ asked about.

But the angel quickly said, :One of my brothers gave me a human sexual reproduction lesson recently. I feel the need to apologize for what happened when I groomed your wings. I didn’t know how it would affect you physically.:

I thought about how mad Ezekiel had been after learning about the event. Maybe he had done that?

:Don’t worry about it.: I said before I realized how it might sound.

Cas frowned, :I was told that for humans it is a fully ‘body and soul’ reaction that must be discussed beforehand. And that my actions were perverted. That was not my intention but I still wish to beg your forgiveness.:

I covered my face with my hands. :Cas- I liked it. It’s okay. That didn’t make you a perv.:

They looked to the side then back, :Does that mean you would like it to happen again?:

My dick said ‘yes’ but I said, :I don’t know. Not now. I feel like I don’t know you anymore. And that would just be…. Too much, too fast.:

I felt my wings twitch and fought to keep my wing eyes closed. This was an awkward yet fantastic talk. And it was the cherry on top of the day.

I bit my lip when I realized we’d being staring at each other for a while.

A thought occurred to me and I winced, looking down at my shoes in an attempt to stay calm.

:Dean? Are you alright?:

I nodded as Cas moved closer.

:Just… Reassure me this is really happening. Please tell me this isn’t a dream. I won’t wake up and have to remember we aren’t speaking.:

My angel smiled sadly, :And how would I do that? Anything I say could be a dream version of me saying it right?:

I nodded and wiped at my eyes, “Ummm…. Could you….. Give me something or….:

Their smile made my chest ache. They nodded and moved their wings within reach.

:Pick one.:

I froze. How would that feel? And was I crazy or did my angel have a new pair of silver wings?

:Cas…. Did you- get- new wings? When did you get silver?:

They froze as well. :I uh….. Got them the day before your new ones came in. I thought you noticed when you saw me that day…..:

I slowly shook my head, :Cas I wouldn’t have noticed if your wings were hot pink that day. I thought I might die.:

The pain and remorse in their eyes made me feel terrible for bringing it up, but they _did_ ask.

:Cas, don’t beat yourself up about it. Now…. Can… Can I have a black one? It would be the easiest to explain to people why I have it. And the shimmery colors are pretty.:

For an uncomfortable moment we stared at each other. Then, without breaking eye contact, they extended their wings so I could pick one.

I picked a raven looking 8 inch black feather but I didn’t want to rip it out.

:How do I take one without hurting you?:

Cas took a slow, deep breath and pulled out the feather I chose. :Losing a _feather_ won’t hurt me, Dean.:

I carefully took the feather by the quill and smiled at the warmth it radiated. I glanced at Cas shyly as I tucked it inside my shirt pocket over my heart.

:Thank you, Cas. Do…. You want one of mine? Is that weird?:

Cas didn’t respond for a while. They just looked at my wings silently.

Then they silently reached out and stroked the feathers in my left green wing.

I let out a choked sound before I slapped a hand over my mouth and took a deep breath.

Cas watched me as they brought up their other hand to gently grip my wing bone.

And oh _fuck_ that should _not_ feel so good! I didn’t even notice a feather had been plucked until their hands left my wing. I glanced down  to see a bright green- _long_ feather in their hands.

:I didn’t know my feathers were that long!: I breathed, letting my wings hang loosely behind me.

It had to be at least 15 inches. Did I really have feathers like that? I lifted a wing to check and sure enough that wasn’t even the longest feather, and my amber wings had even longer feathers.

I shivered and looked up when I felt my wings tingle. Cas had tucked my feather in where I had take one.

It felt like a whole lot of something I didn’t really feel ready to deal with yet.

So I folded my wings up nicely and cleared my throat. :Ummm…. Well…. Can we like-: I shook my head, :I dunno. Can we go get a burger or something sometime?:

My angel smiled, :Of course, Dean.: Then they pulled me into a full angel hug.

:Happy birthday, Dean.: I let myself drift back to consciousness slowly, and hoped it hadn’t been a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who likes warm weather, and who likes cold weather?
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot damn! A free minute to type! Yay!

It hadn’t been a dream. When I woke up the black feather was still in my shirt pocket.

Bobby and Sammy were still asleep since the sun wasn’t up yet. So I put the feather on a chain like I’d done with my own feather for Sammy.

Once I had it on and under my shirt I felt a sort of slow calm, happiness overtake me. It was glorious.

I stood still enjoying it until I heard Sammy’s alarm go off.

I flew upstairs silently and changed my clothes. Sammy wasn’t out of his room when I left mine, so I went back down stairs to get some coffee and breakfast ready.

When Sammy shuffled into the kitchen and mumbled a “G’mernin, Den” I smiled, still blissfully happy.

“Good mornin, Sammy. How’d you sleep?”

There was no answer so I turned to see if he’d fallen asleep at the table.

But he was just standing in the door way eyeing me suspiciously.

“Sammy? You alright?” I asked slowly.

After a moment he shrugged and settled into a chair, “You look….. Different.”

I thought about his new found extra sight and swallowed. “Well I’m wearing the shirt you gave me….”

I watched a smile creep onto his face.

“Oh yeah. That’s gotta be it.”

I set a mug of coffee in front of him and shook my head.

“You should start waking up earlier so you have more time to function.”

He snorted, “Nope. You can’t make me!”

I set breakfast in front of him and sat down across from him.

Carefully I checked over the locked powers and found that they weren’t trying all that hard to get free.

Also there wasn’t much more than when I first locked them in. So… Maybe this second sight of his was just a Sammy thing.

A human thing.

I nudged Bobby awake sneakily and stood.

“Alright, Sammy. I’ve gotta go take care of some bad things and you’ve gotta get to work. Tell Bobby there’s food and coffee waiting.”

I patted his shoulder and headed for the door.

But he caught my wrist and held me back, “Dean…. Can….” He looked nervous.

“Can you just _tell_ me different? It’s not your shirt. Just tell me?”

I bit my lip, reached into my shirt and pulled out Cas’ feather.

For a breath it was perfectly silent in the house.

“You…. You have an angle too?” Sammy whispered eyes locked on the feather.

I nodded slowly, “yeah, but not like you do.”

My little brother frowned at the feather and simply stated, “Blue.”

I felt my feathers stand on end.

How the hell.

“Uhhh…. Yeah. They look kinda bluish…. What… What color is yours?”

When Sammy glanced down and my feather around his neck I opened my wing eyes to see if a _nything_ changed.

I saw my baby brothers eyes turn black in a way that human eyes couldn’t see and felt numb.

Whatever my locks were holding back, it wasn’t demonic energy.

“Amber.” Sammy stated and looked up with black eyes.

“But… _You’re_ Amber.”

I frowned, “People have colors too?”

Slowly he shook his head, “Not really…. Dean… I think you’re my angel.”

I really didn’t know what to say. His eyes lost their black.

“It makes sense now. You’re always looking out for me and you always put me first. You are my Guardian Angel… Does that mean you’re not my brother?”

I winced and sat down next to him, “Sammy, we _are_ brothers. We may not really share blood…. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t family. Blood-“

I shook my head, “Family don’t end with blood, Sammy. Okay?”

His eyes were wide and for a moment I was worried, then he grinned, “Okay, Dean.”

I relaxed a little. “Ummm…. Don’t tell Dad…. Or Bobby…. Or anyone really.”

I shook my head, “You’re not supposed to know, but no one else can either.”

He nodded so hard I thought his head might fall off, “I won’t tell!”

I grinned, “Awesome! Can I get a hug?”

Sammy leapt to his feet and held his arms open.

I laughed at his enthusiasm and pulled him into a tight hug.

 

The next time Sammy mentioned that I was an angel was that summer.

He asked if I could protect him from a distance. I didn’t know and he left it alone.

A week passed and I got curious about why he’d asked, “Well….”

He pulled a folded paper out of his jacket and hesitantly handed it to me.

His nervousness started to worry me so I hurried to read what I turned out to be a response….

“Stanford University…. California?”

Sammy looked even more nervous when I kept my face blank, trying to keep the fear off my face.

“Yeah, well… They responded and _accepted_! Dean… You’re not…. Mad right?”

I clenched my jaw.

“No. You should totally go.”

He didn’t seem convinced and I took a deep breath, “You made it sound like you didn’t want me with you…. Too grown up to have your family around? Don’t want your brother crampin your style?”

I managed a believable smirk and he shook his head, “It’s not that, you have to keep Hunting, Dean.”

I handed the paper back and shook my head, “Sammy, I can hunt anywhere…. Are you…. Do you want to get away from us?”

He threw his hands up in annoyance, “Dean! Jeez! It’s not _about_ you! I just need some space! And you need to get a life that isn’t mine!”

The silence stretched for a long time, and I felt like screaming.

Finally I took a deep breath, “Well…. I guess that settles that, huh? I’m just gunna go get a life then.”

He didn’t say anything so I turned and walked for the door. I glanced back with my wing eyes and saw his black eyes watching me. He looked frustrated.

Like he wanted to say something.

The way he looked after me seemed like a warning. And that didn’t sit right with me.

I spun back and stomped back to face him. He opened his mouth probably to sass me so I pulled him into a full angel hug and held him tight.

“You’re such a bitch sometimes.” I muttered into his shoulder.

He snorted, “And you’re a jerk. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. I just…. Feel like you won’t be safe around me.”

I was both amused and horrified that he had tried to push me away like how I’d pushed Cas away.

Then again we were a lot alike so I couldn’t be too surprised.

“I just wanted to keep you safe too.”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Yep. A lot alike.

“Best way to keep each other safe is to have each other’s backs, right?”

He just hugged me tighter, which worried me.

When we let go I asked. “So without being a bitch…. Do you really want me to give you space?”

He nodded slowly and couldn’t meet my eyes.

It hurt. But I’d survive. And so would he.

“Okay. When do you wanna move?”

Sammy looked out the window, “In a month. I wanna get a job and an apartment.”

I cleared my throat, “Wow. I suppose you want to drive by yourself too?”

Sammy’s eyes stayed locked on the window, like it would save him.

“Yeah. I mean, I have my own car and all my stuff can fit in it…. No need to… Waste gas. You’ve got bills to pay. And I’ve got tuition. “

I closed my eyes and shook my head, “Waste- Yeah. Making sure you’re safe and knowing where to find you…. That’s a waste of gas.”

When I opened my eyes he was frowning at me, “Dean you’re an _angel_. You’re saying you can’t find me across the country? Can’t make sure I’m okay from a distance?”

I rolled my eyes, “Of course I can. And I can get to you as soon as you can blink. But what if I’m on a Hunt and something happens? What if you’re not alone, or at a friend’s house and I just _show up_?”

Now Sammy rolled his eyes, “Dean! You are being so _weird_ what is wrong with you?”

I actually considered reaching into his mind and changing it….. But….. This was Sammy!

And he was going to go to college! And get a real life! With a home and a job….And live.

I bit my lip and drew blood just to heal it again.

Just to _do_ something.

“There- There are things…. That I can’t protect you from. That I don’t know how to hide you from either.”

I watched my brothers face shift to an ‘oh really’ and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Things stronger than me that want nothing good for you. And…. I’m just worried they’ll think You’re free game now…. That you’ve left.”

His complete lack of seriousness over this real threat made me bite my lip again, this time he noticed.

It made his lip curl in disgust, “Dude, _what_ is _wrong_ with you?”

I reached for Cas in frustration and found my angel already watching.

:Dean, you seem stressed.:

I clenched my jaw, :How do I hide him from angels? From all their senses?:

There was a pause and I had to wonder if I was asking the right angel.

We hadn’t even been on speaking terms not too long ago.

But then Cas feed me the knowledge of how to hide someone from angels, all angels.

:He has your feather. You’ll be able to find him.:

I took a deep breath and reached out for my little brother, who looked uncomfortable.

“Dude! Seriously?! What are you _doing_?”

He hissed stepping back and smacking my hand away.

“Sammy stop I’m just gunna-“

He took two more steps back and I clenches my hands into fists.

“:Sam! Stop it!:” I snapped, not realizing I yelled into his mind until he froze and whispered, “You’re in my head?”

I shook my head, “If you’re gunna be a bitch then at least let me do my job.”

Then with one hand I gripped his shoulder while the other pressed _into_ his chest.

As quickly as I could I carved the symbols into his skeleton and his very soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God Damn it Dean! Ask before you carve into someone soul you dingus!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! I have had this chapter written since the last one was posted but I am a SLOW typist. DX  
> Anyway I have two more chapters written but not typed although I am wondering if I need to tone down the second one, so that may be delayed.  
> Oh yeah this is ALL ANGST

I was instantly glad Bobby was out grocery shopping, because Sammy screamed.

I winced, not expecting such a loud reaction. When I let go he fell back onto his ass and scrambled back even further.

“Fuck! Dean! What’s _wrong_ with you!?”

Before I could respond he coughed and blood came with it.

Shocked I didn’t move, I just stared. What had I _done_?!

Sammy got to his feet, eyes wild and turned to run.

That snapped me out of my stupor, I lunged forward and grabbed his shoulder while opening my wings.

I wrapped both arms around him as I took off then realized I had nowhere to take him.

:Dean. Use a pocket dimension.: Cas supplied and I hurried to find the one Cas had made.

When I dropped him on the grass Sammy looked terribly in shock.

“Sammy, don’t freak out, okay? Lem’me explain what I did.”

The glazed look on his face made me regret not just messing with his mind and moving on. I could tell there was no way to just gloss over this amount of adrenaline saturated memories.

Slowly I crouched in front of my brother and folded my wings.

“Sammy. Angels want you dead. Most of them really. So I asked one of the few on my side to help me hide you. They showed me what  to do. I hid you from all angel senses. I can find you…. “ I couldn’t say it.

“I can find you because I put the marks on you. I’m sorry it hurt… I _really_ am. I didn’t think-“

I shook my head and rubbed my face with my hands, “I had to carve the marks into your bones, every one of them…. And your soul. But now….”

His unchanging expression made me nervous, “Now you can roam the world a bit more freely.”

There was still no response and I was starting to freak out a bit so I reached out a hand to touch his shoulder . I was just going to shake him a little, see if he responded.

But before I could touch him he jerked back and hissed, “Don’t _touch_ me!”

There was a horrible pause then he swallowed loudly and shook his head, “Do- Do you expect me to say ‘thank you’ or something? Cuz I won’t.”

He hugged his knees, “I mean what the hell, Dean?! You carved _words_ into my _bones AND_ my soul!”

I nodded slowly, “I am a horrible person. I should have asked permission…. You have every right to be mad at me. Just….”

The angry teary eyed look my little brother shot me shut me up.

I let myself fall backward onto my ass and took out Cas’ feather to try and stay calm.

I felt a ripple of appreciative calm settle over me from Cas. I’d learned that exchanging feathers set us up for a personal link of communication.

So Cas always knew when I was using the feather to calm myself. They sent a sort of… Hug feeling back in return and I sighed.

Sammy narrowed his eyes at the feather and hissed out, “ _Blue_.”

I flinched away from the anger I heard and whispered, “Sammy?”

But he was fixated.

“Ever since you got that _damn_ feather from _Blue_ , you’ve been- different. Less you than you were before.”

He inched closer and I opened my wings eyes hoping I wouldn’t see what I saw.

Black eyes. Black eyes and an inky smudge around Sammy’s head. I was so busy trying to see what the smudge was I almost missed him darting out a hand for the feather.

“Dude!” I yelled, leaping back in an awkward wing “rowing” motion.

But he followed, eyes locked on his prize.

“Hold _still,_ Dean!”

Quickly I pulled the feather free from the chain and jammed it into place where I removed my own for Cas.

A feeling like a full being kiss melted through me and I _felt_ something click. I could feel Cas’ grace as if it were next to my own.

But there was a more important point to think about.

Sammy grabbed my wing bone and tried to rip Cas’ feather from my wing.

I screamed in every way I could and fought to free my wing.

Less than a minute of scrambling later and Cas was there. Without vessel and in full attack mode.

I reached out to hold my angel back, :Cas- No! he’s just stressed! Stop it!:

Slowly the angel settled into a semi relaxed warning stance and I cautiously looked past tier posing grace to see my little brother staring at my angel with clear human eyes.

“Dean, what is _that_?” He asked softly.

I stepped between them, still shaking from the events of the past hour.

“This is Cas. They’re my angel…. They’re- They _were_ one of the angels who liked you.”

Sammy shook his head, “Dean…. Why do Angels not like me? Why do I have to hide?”

Cas beat me to a response.

:Because you are an Abomination. The pureblooded son of Lucifer. And as long as you live the Apocalypse _will_ happen.:  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... What do you think? Was that an asshole move on Cas' part, Sammy's or both. Dean *knows* he messed up so yeah.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys I have a Patreon! Check it out! https://www.patreon.com/cjquinn72?ty=h


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo! New chapter. Is angst. So angst. Like who dude.

I tried not to worry.

Sammy was afraid of Cas. Cas was wary of Sammy. And I was trying not to worry.

It wasn’t working but…. Cas had made a big mistake.

Telling Sammy what he was unlocked everything I’d kept locked away in my brother’s head. Now my wing eyes could see constant black eyes, a set of four short black horns starting from his head and small new leathery wings.

Cas said Sammy would grow in his relative demonic powers quickly. I’d had my angelic powers for a while so my powers and wings were growing with my physical body.

But now Sammy’s powers and otherworldly extremities had 18 years of catching up to do.

Sure enough, since that stupid day when the horns and wings first appeared, they’d doubled in size.

The horns had been nubs at first, now they were pinky sized. The leathery wings were now as long as his arms. And Sammy was even getting _taller_ faster!

A whole month of apologies and explanations changed us.

Sammy told me not to call him that anymore. He smiled less, and was more slow moving and serious. He stopped going to work, stopped talking to friends and started packing his car sooner than planned.

Whenever John was around Sammy argued with him and even stopped calling him ‘Dad’.

Bobby was the only one Sammy still spoke to normally. They still talked, and laughed together. As much as it hurt that he was cold to me, I was glad he was still himself with _someone_.

 

Sitting in my room trying to relax wasn’t working. Sitting with Bobby trying to forget wasn’t working. So I hunted.

That helped me forget for a bit and settle into a more comfortable train of thought.

Sammy had mentioned he was going to leave in three days. Two weeks sooner than we’d originally planned on.

So I was hunting until he left. Maybe after he was gone too.

I cleaned the slime off my angel blade and turned to the door before I noticed.

Someone stood in the shadows by the door, large leather wings, curling horns.

I winced before I could recognize my brother, “Dude, what are you doing here?” I was almost surprised how nervous I sounded.

He stepped into the light, black eyes watching me carefully.

“Testing your marks…. The ones to hide me. I followed you here, even fought beside you then looked around your head….”

I swallowed hard and tucked my blade away, “That’s pretty creepy, Sammy.”

He sighed in annoyance, “Don’t call me that. And _you’ve_ done things to my mind, my memories…. All I did was peep. Nice fake memories you have by the way. Did you know about those?”

I froze. “What?”

He smiled slowly and I felt him push at my mind a little and who days of memories crumbled.

“Oops.” He whispered and then flew away on newly grown wings.

I felt sick. I’d made myself get over a bad break up by making up a girl….

I’d made Cas erase Jimmy. My ex-boyfriend, Jimmy, Cas’ vessel….

It hurt to remember. And I was dizzy.

But even as the first tear slipped onto my face Cas was there. I only realized my hands were shaking when they held my hands to steady them.

:Dean?: I couldn’t look up. Not when I knew that looking at Cas was looking at Jimmy.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my face into Cas/Jimmy’s shoulder.

My angel paused then said, :Dean, John is driving up now… I’ll be invisible but here alright?:

I nodded and stood up straight. I heard tired on gravel and took out the machete I’d used as a decoy for when John showed up. I couldn’t explain the angel blade to someone who thought I was a demon.

I wiped the tears from my face and used a small blip of grace to dirty the blade of the machete and make the bodies look like they’d died by it.

As John came around the corner Cas’ hands settled on my shoulders.

When John spoke it was with a sneer that normally bothered me, today I didn’t care.

“What kind of sloppy shit is this? Huh? Take out your target then cry over them? You’re so fucking pathetic. How long have you been crying over the slime that you kill? Is it because you’re slime too? Useless.”

The words had no impact on me, yet I felt like fighting back.

“I’m not cryin for them. I fought with Sammy on the phone a minute ago. He was just as fucked up and mean as you. And John? I am-“ I managed a dark smirk, “I am so far above this trash. Why else would I kill so much of it? More than even _you_ are capable of. And I am certainly better than _you_. Don’t forget who I am.” I hissed then slid comfortably into invisibility.

Watching John’s face change from rage to fear was amazing. Watching him back out of sight was just as good.

:Dean. What Samuel did-:

I turned and frowned, :Cas, as Sammy pointed out- I’ve messed with his head too. I’ve hid so much from him about himself. This was nothing compared to what he could have done. In fact this was almost kind.:

The frown made memories flash and I took a deep breath. :Well I’d been wondering where I knew your vessel from before this. I’d been wondering where Jane went to. And I’d basically gotten over everything. Sammy saw all that in my head and just broke down the walls with the answers.:

The frown stayed, :That doesn’t make it okay to just-:

I cut them off again, :No. It doesn’t. But I’ve done worse to him for longer. So…. Leave it alone, that’s not a request. He’s my brother. And he didn’t hurt me. He’s just….:

I shook my head and covered my face with my hands.

:He’s just scared, alone, 18 year old who doesn’t know what’s going on. And that’s my fault too.:

Cas sighed, :Well if you’re fine and you won’t let me do anything…. I… I have to go back to a…..:

Cas threw their hands in the air, :Ezekiel is trying to “press charges” on me. And I have to go defend myself.:

Shock hit me hard, :What?!:

Cas winced at my volume, :Yeah. Ezekiel placed a formal complaint that I manipulated you into loving you. Through the use of mind bending and controlling my vessel…. It’s so stupid! But Raphael _has_ to look into it.:

I was almost sizzling with fury.

:I _told_ them, I was _fine_!: I snarled and reached for Zeke’s grace.

Foolishly he reached back, not sensing my anger until  he was next to me.

:Dean, I-: He winced at the look I leveled him with.

He wore Sandra and somehow that made me angrier.

:Zeke! Let her go back to work!:

Instantly she was gone. And the presence of an angel in their true form leveled the ramshackle building and torched the bodies.

: _What_ did I say about my relationship with Cas?”

Zeke looked nervous. Probably because the angels who’d been speaking with him were watching.

:To leave it alone?:

I nodded, slow grim rage on my face, :And _what_ do I find out you’re doing?:

I could tell my grace was wild and oppressive to be around right now, but Zeke still avoided the question.

:Dean, do you even _know_ what exchanging feathers like that even _means_? Let alone how Castiel-:

I snapped my wings out in a warning, : _Yes_! I know what it _means_ , Ezekiel! And I know what _your_ actions mean _too! Jealously_ is not pretty on anyone! _Especially_ an _angel_!:

Their  silence carried through my next outburst.

:Raphael? Do you _truly_ believe that I am being forced to love Cas? Does that seem like it’s even possible to do?:

Raphael slowly appeared in vessel, a guy named Donnie Finnerman.

:Or _course_ not, Dean. But formalities must be observed. Ezekiel made a formal request that the situation be evaluated. I was simply checking the facts. I learned nothing new of course.:

I notice the slight bow in the angel’s position and was shocked. Had I really gotten so strong? Raphael was basically an archangel!

I let out a long breath, :I’ve had enough of this. I’m sorry for my outburst. That was rude.:

Raphael and Ezekiel both bowed a bit before flying away.

I turned to Cas and shook my head, ;When did I get so…. That?:

Cas smiled and shrugged, :When you exchange feathers powers are…. Multiplied. Some angels even gain another set of wings. So…. you are almost an archangel You’d only have to be accepted by the others to get your next set of wings. I am level with Raphael now.:

I nodded, :Okay. So it’s more than an engagement. Which is more important. At-At least to me it is….:

Cas smiled as I trailed off my rambling.

:Yes, well….. I would have to agree.:

Then they pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

My feathers puffed out and Cas smiled against my mouth. :Sorry. I should have asked.:

After a heartbeat of surprise I grinned and pulled their mouth back to mine, hands holding the back of their head.

They ‘Hmm-ed’ in approval and wrapped their arms around my neck to trail their finger over my feathers.

I shivered and nipped at their mouth.

:So glad we can do this now.:

I wasn’t sure which one of us thought that but it made me sigh.

Cas pulled back enough to look me in the eye, :Wanna get a burger?:

I laughed, :Yeah, let’s go.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even I have trouble writing my babies happily. *Sigh*  
> Who here likes Undertale?


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter in the same month! I am getting better? I keep getting new ideas and forgetting to write down the next chapter of Insu, and once it's writen I have to type it. Ugggh. But at least there's this new update! 22 days since the last one.
> 
> Welp! Enjoy!

“Where’s John?” Sammy sounded annoyed. He kept saying he didn’t care if John saw him off, yet he had stayed a day late to wait for him.

It pissed me off.

I was trying not to be mean, but it was so tempting and it would be so easy.

“I don’t care.”

I muttered just loud enough for Sammy to hear. He slowly turned to face me and snarled, “Why is it you can see me, _bird_? I thought the marks you _forced_ on me hid me from _birds_.”

I wasn’t sure if ‘bird’ was supposed to be an insult so I smiled and fluffed my feathers for show.

“Well, because. That’s why. And Cas can see you because I can.”

For a moment he just stared at me in complete disbelief, “You are such a _jerk_!”

He pouted and I laughed, “And you’re being a bitch! But you don’t see me whining about it.”

He stood up quickly and stalked closer, stopping when I let my grace shine behind my eyes in warning.

“Why do you hate him so much? I mean, yeah, he was hard on you but-“

I could see he was _really_ confused.

“But he likes _you_ best…. And he isn’t cruel to you.”

I frowned, memories of every injury and every sharp word hit me and my grace snapped angrily.

“ _Excuse_ me?”

Here came the mean, he _asked_ for it.

“Dad likes you best because he thinks you’re like _him_. He’s an angel vessel. He thinks you’re an _angel_ , Sammy. He thinks _I’m_ a demon. _Because I look like Mom!_ Mom’s a _demon_ , like _you_. And he found out what I was! But I didn’t want him to turn on you! So I messed with his head- like _you hate_! So you wouldn’t have to see how he treats his ‘demon’ children.”

There was a long silence then Sammy shook his head, “You’re lying”

I pulled my grace back to look as human as I could and shook my head.

“No. Check both our minds if you want.  Just…. Be careful when you go in his head…. It’s not nice in there.”

Black eyes searched my clear ones and I felt him dig through my mind frantically. When he found the memory he played through it over and over, looking it over carefully.

The he paled.

I looked at the floor between us.

“See?”

When I looked up again he looked somewhat excited. “Dean! Mom’s _alive_! And she’s in Hell! I can go _get_ her!”

I frowned, “Sammy… Your wings are too new. You wouldn’t be able to carry her out. And what if you were caught? You might be stuck in Hell….. Forever.”

His face fell, “But…. Mom.”

I nodded, “I thought the same thing when I found out but it’s so dangerous and I couldn’t risk leaving you alone up here.”

Sammy looked torn between anger and something else.

We both jumped when Bobby came in, slamming the door behind him. “Anyone want pizza?”

 

Sammy delayed his leaving another night, but not for John this time. Instead at dinner he said, “I decided I’ll stay tonight to spend time with my dad.”

There was a beat of silence then he looked at Bobby, “What’d you wanna do tonight?”

I could feel how happy Bobby was and soon we were all smiling. Even though Sammy made sure I knew I wasn’t invited to stay, I was happy.

Sammy wasn’t blind about John anymore. He knew that Bobby was there for him and he was going to college in the morning.

At least one of us got to live their dreams even if they had to struggle with what they were to do it.

With a glare from Sammy I took the hint and flew. I didn’t really have a direction in mind, or a destination, but I didn’t want to just sit around all night either.

Next week Sammy would be starting classes and I would be too far away to notice something was wrong until it was too late.

I landed in an unfamiliar forest and sighed.

:Maybe you could make a nest for yourself?: Cas joked when I asked them why I’d landed here.

It was an interesting idea. I’d never constructed a building before, just cars. They couldn’t really be that different. Right?

Two hours and a lot of frustration later I managed to put up wards that made humans uncomfortable enough to stay away as well as every ward Castiel knew.

And when I stood in the middle I felt relaxed and safe.

:You could possibly take some supplies?: Cas’ suggested theft made me raise my eyebrows at no one. :Steal? No. Cas you can’t have meant that….:

There was a long pause before my angel responded, :No? Not really. It’s just that I think you’d like having a home you built for yourself….. But you haven’t made money in almost a year…. How do you plan to get supplies?:

I frowned, :Uhhhh…. I dunno. Maybe I should hustle some pool tonight then.:

I could _feel_ Cas’ eyes roll.

:Dean, how is stealing money better than stealing supplies?:

I grinned, :Stealing supplies is wrong because they have no say. Hustling is better because they know what  they’re getting into. See?:

I couldn’t help laughing when Cas’s sigh dragged on just a bit too long.

“So this is where you’re hiding.”

I whipped around to glare at Sammy, “Don’t scare me like that!”

He didn’t even look at me, instead he looked around the clearing. “So, Dean. I have a question….”

I frowned as Sammy oddly looked everywhere.

“What’s that, Sammy?”

He made no comment about calling him Sammy, instead he asked, “Where are you?”

I paused, “You can’t see me?”

Slowly Sammy turned in a circle eyes checking everywhere in the clearing and somehow avoiding me.

:Thank you for the warding, Cas.: I sent with feelings of joy.

They sent back a small burst of amusement then arrived wearing Jimmy.

Jimmy was wearing gray sweatpants and a tight black tank top.

Cas and Sammy froze when they saw each other and I tensed.

I stepped out of the warding quickly.

“Dean, the warding-“ I cut Cas off with a sigh.

“Cas, I used my blood in the wards, it’ll let me back in.”

Sammy cleared his throat. We both glanced over to see Sammy looking caught between scared and angry.

“Dean, what is _that_ doing here?”

I frowned, “Sammy, Cas and I are pretty much engaged…. Please don’t call them an ‘it’ or a ‘that’. Besides the fact that it’s rude, Cas could kill you in less than a heartbeat of time should they choose to.”

The silence that followed made me want to punch my own face.

“Where’s Bobby?”

Sammy sighed, “John showed up thinking I was gone. So Bobby told me to go for a walk and by the time I came back he’d have chased John out.”

I smiled a little. “He’s good. Best part of our family…. I’m glad you’ve still got someone to trust, Sammy.”

He cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. Me too.”

After an uncomfortable pause I sighed heavily.

“Alright well…. Sammy you should go check on Bobby and…. Umm…. I’ll see you when you come back for breaks? If you… Umm…”

Finally he took pity on me and held out a hand for me to shake.

“Yeah, I’ll see you when I see you. Take care.”

An awkward pause later he spread large dark wings and took off.

Turning back to Cas I shook my head, :I don’t know what I’m gunna do now, Cas. Looking after Sammy was my one and only goal for a long time. Now…. I guess I gotta build a house?:

Cas shook their head, dark hair falling into their eyes, :You don’t really _have_  to do anything, Dean. You can rest? Be without a goal for a while….:

They looked up and to the left, :Dean, I have to go. Can you-:

They paused realizing the situation.

:Oh…. Never mind.:

I shook my head, :Cas, it’s fine. I’ll get Jimmy home. Don’t worry.:

The look they shot me didn’t look convinced but they left Jimmy anyway, flying off to do whatever they’d been called for.

And then it was just me and my ex, alone in some random forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you like all the grumpiness?
> 
> Also...... I have a yes or no question for you my dearies..........
> 
> Pokemon go? Yes or no?


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I woke up at 2am and had a lot of time so I typed this up. And I timed myself to see how slow I type....... I started at about 3am-ish and finished at 5am. I get very easily distracted by cats and coffee.....
> 
> So yay! Almost a 2,000 word chapter in two hours! 
> 
> Also I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. It really pushed me to write and update more! I really appreciate it!

“Oh, hey, Dean. Did Castiel want you to bring me home?”

I nodded slowly, just looking at the man for a bit.

He noticed and cleared his throat, “Dean, you okay?”

I saw him slowly realize that I remembered him and I took a deep breath. “I didn’t cheat on you. I’ve never cheated on anyone. I just made a friend, I mean Cas is more than a friend _now_ ….. But that was _really_ recent.”

The more I spoke the more confused he looked. “But how did you end up with Castiel if you were just friends then?”

I shook my head. “They were there for me. No matter what. They haven’t waivered. They haven’t been jealous or doubted. They trust me. It’s not a big step to love from there. And I was already almost there, I guess. It just didn’t happen because I had you.”

He shook his head, “See, I just can’t buy that. I looked back on what Castiel saw with my eyes and that didn’t look like friendship to me. That looked like a couple. No _way_ someone acts that- _squishy_ with their friends.”

I held back a scream of frustration and shook my head to clear it. “You don’t know how I am with my friends. We skipped _right_ over friendship in a _blink_! You’ve only seen me with family and enemies. How could you _possibly_ know what I’m like with my friends?”

His eyes flashed with repressed emotions and he clenched his jaw. “You expect me to believe you weren’t fucking Castiel the _minute_ you two met? Bull! You two are basically _married_ now! And-“

I grabbed him by the collar of his coat and flew as fast as I could to him home. When I dropped him in the kitchen someone shrieked.

I spun around and was shocked to see a woman, blond haired and blue eyed, pressing her back to the fridge with panic on her face.

“Amelia! It’s fine. This is Dean. He’s an _asshole_.” Jimmy sounded like he was trying his best to be pleasant.

I glared at him. “Jimmy’s just being rude because he’s wrong and he knows it. Sorry to frighten you, Ma’am.”

She smiled a little but it was just to be polite.

“James, I thought we agreed! You were supposed to do all your angel stuff outside the house?”

I noticed the ring on her hand and winced, “Well, Jimmy, speaking of married, when did this happen?”

Jimmy rolled his eyes as he took a seat at the counter bar thing.

Amelia answered, “We’ve been married a week now.”

I raised my eyebrows, “A week? And when did you two meet?”

She straightened up and smoothed her sweater, “Three months ago. It was an Angel Arranged Marriage. To keep their bloodlines moving.”

I glanced at Jimmy who was still glaring holes into the wall, refusing to speak.

“So you two are like…. A breeding program? Wow. That’s weird. I thought _my_ family was messed up…. Do you two at least like each other? Even a little?”

She glanced out the window, “That’s not important. And it is a time honored tradition to marry for the angels. Love doesn’t factor into this ‘breeding program’ as you call it.”

I heard Jimmy heave a sigh but didn’t look at him. Instead I gave Amelia a sympathetic smile, “He’s difficult to love isn’t he?”

She almost smiled back but smoothed her sweater again instead, “I mean in order to find out we’d have to like each other.”

I nodded slowly, “you’re gay too. Aren’t you?”

She blushed furiously and cleared her throat delicately, “So, you and James? You two used to…”

I looked down at my shoes, “Used to. Then I made a friend. And he couldn’t let _that_ happen! Not on _his_ watch! Just a few days ago my friend and I became…. Well I guess engaged is the only way to put it. And I’ve known them since I was 17. But we’ve hardly started our relationship and this-“

I gestured to Jimmy, “ _Tyrant_ , seems to think we’ve been cozy since we meet. So be careful if you make any new friends or find some nice lady. He might just lose his mind. Whether he likes you or not.”

She blinked slowly then smiled widely.

“I like you. You’re very honest. I bet you’d tell me just about anything I asked wouldn’t you?”

I grinned and shrugged, “Once I know you for a bit, yes. I don’t have much to hide.”

She glanced past me at her husband and sighed, “You should probably….”

I nodded. “I’ll head out. Nice to meet you, Amelia.”

She nodded and I turned to Jimmy.

“You’re a dick. Be good to her.” I growled and took off.

 

Once I was flying I realized I didn’t know if Sammy wanted me around right now.

I sighed and decided the best way to find out was to ask him mind to mind. He hated it and swore he’d punch me if I ever did it again.

But right now I wanted to sleep and my own bed was the best place, or at least it sounded best.

:Sammy?: I basically whispered.

He responded instantly, :Dude, what did I say?!:

I decided to try and joke with him. :About what? Calling you ‘Sammy’ or talking in your head?:

I could almost see him pulling that really unamused, sour expression. Bitchface.

:What is it, Dean?:

I felt all humor vanish as I was suddenly worried, :Ummm…. If it’s alright with you can I come home? I’m kinda tired and ummm… I’d like to sleep in my room.:

After a beat of silence Sammy responded, :Why’re you asking me?:

I blinked in surprise, :Uhhhh…. Well you didn’t want me there earlier and I want you to be comfy so….:

Sammy sounded annoyed and confused, but he answered softly, :Dean, I won’t stop you from sleeping in your own bed. Come home and sleep. Jerk.:

I smiled slowly, :Alright see you in a second, Bitch.:

I landed outside and jumped up the stairs with a grin.

“I’m home!” I announced once I opened the door.

Bobby yelled back, “No shit! Where you been?”

I laughed softly, “Making friends, just like _you_ taught me.”

He rolled his eyes, “Your bother is upstairs, not much left in his room but he’s up there anyway.”

I patted Bobby’s shoulder and sighed, “How is he? I mean…”

Bobby shook his head, “One minute he’s his happy normal self, the next he’s silent and gloomy. I don’t know what to do about it.”

I sighed again, “I don’t either. I’ll see you in the morning, Bobby. Sleep good.”

He turned back to the living room and I moved up the stairs.

Sammy was sprawled across his bed, face down. When I pushed the door open his wings twitched.

“So… How’s Cas?” He muttered.

I chewed my lip, “Ah, you know, busy. Jimmy’s good too… So is his wife….”

Sammy sat up with a frown, “Wife? He can’t have even known her a year!”

I slumped in his desk chair, “They’ve known each other about three months and been married a week.”

“Whoa! Three months? What the hell?” He looked almost disgusted.

I stretched and stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah. They basically had an arranged marriage. By the angels, for the angels. So vessel bloodlines continue.”

Now Sammy was grossed out, “That’s horrible! They’re people! That’s not…. That’s not right.”

I closed my eyes, “Sammy angels don’t see it like that. This way people don’t _die_ when the angel leaves a vessel. Because this way their vessel has just enough of the angel to withstand the burn of a grace inside them. And….” I rubbed my face with my hands, “As much as it’s terrible to breed people like this, the fact is that they are also saving people’s lives. Gabriel explained it to me.”

Black eyes were staring at me when I opened my eyes.

He sighed and hugged his knees, wings gently bundled around himself.

“Okay. I guess that makes it a little better. But now you-“

He cut his eyes at me and cleared his throat. I waited for him to continue but he just looked out his window.

“Now I what?” I asked slowly.

Bobby clomped upstairs to his room in the following silence.

“Sammy?” I asked finally.

He cleared his throat almost violently. ”I opened your memories hoping you’d get back together. But if he is married you wouldn’t even consider it.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

“You were happy with him. And he was happy too. I mean obviously he’s fine. But _you_ weren’t. And I like him better than Castiel….. So….”

He continued to explain, trailing off when I shook my head.

“Sammy. I-I appreciate that. But _Jimmy_ left _me_. He thought Cas and I were having an affair or something. He still thinks that. His wife is also gay and they don’t even like each other. But I’m with Cas. I love Cas. I’m happy with Cas.”

Sammy frowned, “You aren’t the same kind of happy. Do you not love Cas as much?”

I snorted, “Everyone loves differently. I love Cas in a different way than I love Jimmy. So it-“

Sammy pointed at me and yelled, “Ha!”

I just stared at him until he added, “You just said you _love_ Jimmy! Not _loved_!”

I blushed and argued, “Yeah, okay, I love Jimmy and Cas. But that doesn’t mean I love one more than the other. And it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be faithful to Cas. Also I’m mad at Jimmy! He’s been terrible to me! He doesn’t even believe me or Cas that we still haven’t-“

I cut off and looked away.

Sammy made a face, “Eww. Dude. How would that even work? Wouldn’t Cas have to _wear Jimmy_?”

I blanched.

Oh shit.

“I’ve honestly not even thought about it. But yeah. And Jimmy would have to agree to it.”

We both made faces of discomfort before Sammy snorted and covered his mouth.

I narrowed my eyes, “What?”

He shook his head, “At least you don’t have to wonder what Cas looks like naked.”

I groaned and covered my face, “Shit, Sammy, you’re terrible. I’m going to sleep. This conversation is over.”

I paused by the door.

“Will… You stay for breakfast?”

Sammy smiled, “What’re you makin’?”

I smiled back, “That’s up to you.”

He grinned, all teeth, and said, “Bacon, eggs and pancakes!”

I rolled my eyes and sarcastically drawled, “Okaaaaay, wooooow! Pick something complicated why don’t cha!”

We both laughed.

“I’ll see you then.” I said closing the door between us.

Things were good again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you sleep with your fiance if they were wearing your ex's body? I don't think I could and Dean sure as heck is comfortable with the idea!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for all the angst that is this chapter. There is not one sentence of happy. I am cruel god I know. Sorry.

“This is not good.” Cas groaned like a rich kid who just found out they could have a car but only if got a job and paid for it.

I continued to roll out the pie crust without looking up at my melodramatic angel, Amelia however watched them with a sharp focus. She’d never seen Castiel wear her husband that much was obvious.

“What’s not good, Cas?” I asked with a pointed look.

They rolled their eyes, “It turns out Amelia’s line goes back to _Cassiel_! Not me! Normally when this happens I’d just find another of James’ family to help…. But the last three generations decided one child was enough, so he’s all that’s left.”

Amelia cleared her throat to get our attention, “James said that was so vessels wouldn’t have to watch their siblings be happier and freer. Also…. What’s the plan now?”

I glanced at Cas to see them making a face, “Humans are odd.”

The following silence made everyone uncomfortable.

Cas cleared their throat, “Ah, the only option left is that I use James and impregnate you. Awkward as that is, it’s also very important.”

Amelia shook her head, “You’re nicer than James about all this. I don’t mind since it’s you. It’s the same male body either way.”

She looked calm and accepting but I could see the discomfort on her face, as well as the shaking of her hands. Cas could too and tried to reassure her.

“If it makes you more comfortable to know…. I uh…. I have no gender. But I know what I am doing, and I am willing to do whatever makes you comfortable.”

Another awful silence followed and I quickly finished the pie’s decoration.

“So! Who’s excited for pie?” I asked pathetically.

Amelia stared at me a moment, “Can Dean be there?”

My water glass broke, but I wasn’t sure if that was me or Cas. When they both looked at me strangely I knew it had been me.

“Umm…… Why?” I asked rubbing my face to hide my emotions, even though Cas could feel them and Amelia could feel them and Amelia could hear my voice shake.

Amelia shrugged, “Because these two love you and you love both of them?”

I made a sour lemon face, “Uh that’s not- I don’t-“ I took a deep breath and shook my head, “Not that you’re not lovely, Amelia, but I don’t wanna be a part of this…. Whatever this is. Sorry.”

Cas cleared their throat, “Dean, I understand you feel like you cannot have sexual relations with anyone but your romantic partner…. But it would not be an insult to me. I know James would not allow us to intimate because he is jealous and angry with us. And I know you enjoy sex so I understand if you-“

I stood quickly and flared my wings in a stress reaction. “Nah, nah, nah! I am not a cheater! I don’t _want_ to sleep with someone other than you, Cas. Okay? Sorry, Amelia. But I am _seriously_ not comfortable with that! Like….. I’m not gunna _stop_ the two of you from…. Doing what you’re doing, but I don’t want to be involved. Because this is weird.”

The stress of the weirdness made me fly away, not the looks they sent me. Not the disappointment and confusion I could feel from Cas.

At least that’s what I told myself.

I flew quickly to my one safe place. When I landed at my nest I tried to breathe deeply, but found myself hyperventilating. I leaned back against a half finished wall and wrapped myself in my wings.

After almost an hour I had calmed down enough to work on my house. I was nailing a board in place when I felt it.

Well I had said I wouldn’t stop them, but I hadn’t thought… I clenched my jaw and opened a mental door I hadn’t touched since before I faked hating Cas.

I relaxed as my humanity drained away. I found myself smiling at my genius. Now even thought I could feel what Cas felt it had no effect on me.

I didn’t care.

I shivered at the thrill of my freedom.

I inspected my nest and ‘hmm’ed to myself. I pulled supplies from the closest hardware store and set to work easily.

 

I was painting the final room with slow steady movements when I felt Cas outside.

I rolled my eyes at their worry. :I’m fine. You can go back to your angel duties, or whatever.:

Cas felt more worried and angry now, :Dean! What the Hell have you been doing? You’ve been gone a week!:

I frowned, :I’ve been nesting and decorating. And avoiding people. I killed some monsters and then I grew a couple trees! Now I’m painting. Take your righteous anger elsewhere. I don’t want any of it here.:

I could feel Cas’ frustration and fear, :Damn it, Dean! We were scared! You were gone, and I couldn’t find you! _Again!_ And just like last time I lost you, you’re locked up in a warded hiding place with your soul on the back burner! Last time made sense, you were being emotionally abused, but why now?:

I covered my ears uselessly and shook my head, :Because- What the Hell, Cas!? You wanted me to sleep with someone so you could  have a new _vessel?!_ An-An-And then you want me to sit somewhere- You didn’t even know where I _was!_ -And _share_ your lusty feelings through a bond while you _impregnated my ex’s wife?!_ How was any of that _not_ emotionally fucked up for me?: I began pacing, eyes not even seeing what was in front of me as I got more stressed.

:You think I want our first time to be _that_? You think I wanted to _feel_ that? And while you’ve been looking for me, you haven’t tried to speak to me once! Not even a reach through the bond! I mean how was I supposed to deal with all this?! I _told_ you I wasn’t comfortable!:

I felt my soul taking its place in my chest the more I spoke. Tears began filling my eyes and spilled just when I finished screaming back.

:Dean…. This….: They didn’t have anything else to say for a long time.

I dragged myself into my bedroom and crawled into bed without changing, since I’d only been wearing sweats. While still sobbing softly I fell into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.

 

I was curled up in blankets half awake when I _felt_ someone pass though my warding and collapse on my front steps. I threw off the blankets and ran downstairs at breakneck speed.

I flung open the front door to see Jimmy panting harshly, blood leaking from his nose, mouth and ears.

“Oh, hey, Dean. Nice house. May I come in for a bit?”

I felt the tears start up again and my voice cracked, “What the fuck, Jimmy? How’d you….?”

He laughed weakly as I helped him to his feet, “Cas did a sort of running start…. Then bailed before I crossed the barrier. It hurt but I’m fine.”

I all but set him on a kitchen chair and then got a towel wet to wipe the blood off his face.

“You did _all this_ in a _week_?” He asked as I cleaned his face.

I flushed and cleared my throat. “I can get a lot done without a soul to get in my way.”

He caught me in his gaze, “What did you think when you realized you couldn’t have sex with Cas if I didn’t let you use my body?”

I winced away but he held my shoulder. I swallowed, “I knew I should just accept that Cas and I couldn’t have sex. Because it would be weird and I dunno if I could do it like that… Also you hate me so I know you’d never let me do that.”

I looked away and he let go of my shoulder, “I’d never hate you.”

I snorted and rinsed the towel in the sink before attempting to clean his face again.

Whatever the barrier was it did a good job. I sighed, “I’ve gotta _heal_ this before I can _clean_ it up. Hold still.”

I held his face between my hands and applied grace to the internal wounds gently. He watched me the whole time, a mixture of confusion and sadness on his face.

When I let go I took a couple steps back and picked up the pinkish damp towel, “Uhhh… here…” I handed him the towel and awkwardly went back upstairs.

The weight of my soul, after a week without it was too much. I felt guilty about the house, and vanishing.

I even felt guilty that I’d yelled at Cas.

It was exhausting. I crawled back into bed and bundled myself in blankets. I really hoped Jimmy would sleep in any other room. Because I was too tired to find a room for him. I reached out with a small bit of grace and closed my door, opening the door to the guest room.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaay! I've been waiting to post this until I had the next chapter done but I have like 300 words done -_-* So! I am just gunna update and hope that I have more for you in another month. *sigh* Also this is an incredibly emotional chapter for Dean.... so yeah.
> 
> Oh yeah this is what Sammy's horns look like. I'll see if I can try to draw what he and Dean look like but damn son I can't draw very well.  
> Sammy's horns: https://img0.etsystatic.com/018/0/5248537/il_fullxfull.492286658_kiwc.jpg

I woke in a familiar situation, curled up with Jimmy. For a minute I just lay still, then Cas nudged my mind and I tensed.

:Ummm… Hey, Cas…:

They seemed relieved, :James is alright? I realize I shouldn’t have thrown him like that.:

I blushed as Jimmy sighed against my neck, :Yep. He’s fine. He bleed a little but I patched him up.:

Cas relaxed more, the cleared their throat mentally.

:Listen, Dean, I…. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. You were completely in the right, reacting how you did. But I want you to know angels are- in general- very relaxed about sex as we do not reproduce or ‘bond’ through it like humans do. So if _you_ want, you could have sex with someone. I wouldn’t mind. I know you love James, I’m fine with that too. Just-:

I gasped as Jimmy ground his hips against mine. I knew it fed right back to Cas but I couldn’t help enjoy it  for a moment.

:You are…. So beautiful like this, Dean.:

I blushed at Cas’ praise and hissed when Jimmy bite my throat.

“:Okay, this is awkward.:” I muttered to Jimmy and Cas.

Jimmy slowly woke when he heard me and I cleared my throat.

“Hi, I don’t remember inviting you to sleep next to me.” I grumbled wiggling out of his arms.

He flushed and sat up, “Sorry. Umm… How’d you sleep?”

I sighed, “Like a rock until I woke up with your morning wood on my hip and my angel in my head.”

He winced and Cas reminded me they were there by sending disapproval through the bond. I ignored it, everyone was acting so weird, and I wasn’t happy about it.

“Breakfast?” I asked getting out of bed and stretching.

Cas sighed and went back to whatever they’d been doing before I woke up.

I peeked at Jimmy with my Wing Eyes and frowned.

The colors there were tinged with Cas’ blue more than usual.

Were they talking?

“Sure. What’re we having?” Jimmy answered in a conversational tone. I shrugged and started to walk away.

“Dean-“

I tensed, that tone didn’t make me feel good about this conversation.

“Dean, I know you’ve loved Cas for a very long time, even if you haven’t been _in love_ as long. And I…. I wanted to apologize for calling you a cheater. I believe you. And I miss you.”

The emotions I was hit with made me want to cry. Anger that he thought this would make everything all better. Sadness that it had taken him this long to believe me. And happiness that he was finally seeing the truth.

I didn’t know how to respond so I said, “I’m thinking pancakes or a scramble of some sort.”

Then I flew downstairs to the kitchen. When he followed me to the kitchen he stood behind me in silence while I started coffee.

“So pancakes or a scramble?” I asked when the percolator started.

I _felt_ him get angry.

“How can you blow off my apology? Like it’s-it’s nothing! Like it wasn’t _important_?”

I spun around, my own anger causing my wings to show shadows.

“Because it took you _so_ long to get to this point I’d almost moved on! Because you _hurt_ me for _so_ long! Because saying ‘oops, sorry’ doesn’t fix _shit_ , James! Because I love you and Castiel _equally,_ in _different_ ways! And you-“

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “And you couldn’t even handle Cas as my _friend_. You won’t be able to handle the fact that we are _bonded_. Now do you want _pancakes,_ a _scramble_ or a ride _home?”_

The silence stretched and I realized I was crying and shaking. Jimmy swallowed and sat at the table, “Scramble.”

 

“Dude, you look like shit.” Snarked when I showed up outside his door a few hours later.

I heaved a sigh, “I’ll bet I do. Can I come in or is this a bad time?”

My little brother frowned in worry, “Yeah, come in. What happened? I’ve only been gone two weeks.”

I followed him to the couch and flopped down, “Jimmy.”

Sammy took a deep breath, “What did that fucker do now?”

I told him about the weirdness with Amelia and how I built a house, out of a need for distraction.

Then I told him about screaming at Cas, then at Jimmy.

He sighed, “Well that’s incredibly fucked up. But you’re right, apologies don’t fix everything. Did you drop him home and come straight here?”

I nodded, “We didn’t talk at all. Not a word. Amelia didn’t either. Cas wont’ respond. And I missed you. Also Jo’s in school and doesn’t know about this so I couldn’t tell her.”

Sammy slung his arm around my shoulders and distracted me like the smarty pants he was.

“I found a job already. And classes are really fun.”

I glanced around his apartment. “Your place is nice too. Where do you work?”

He cleared his throat, “Don’t be mad okay?”

I cut him off asking, “Dude! Are you a stripper?! I know it’s good money but it’s not worth it!”

He gave me bitch face and continued. “This demon offered me a job…. She runs a coffee shop and everyone who works there is a supernatural something. But the rules are good at making sure everyone behaves. And it’s magically enforced so no one has to worry.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Wow. Never heard of something like _that_ before!”

Sammy nodded in excitement, “It’s really cool. I love it there.”

I started to smile then froze, “Sammy…. There…. Do any Hunters know about it?”

He made a face, “Yeah. There are a couple. But they haven’t done anything. Ruby- my boss- she knows a guy at the police station. Any one comes in there looking for trouble is going away for a long time!”

Then I did smile, “As long as you’re being safe. I don’t wanna kill another Hunter to save you but-“

The way Sammy’s eyes lit made me look out the window.

“Decent view.” I tried to change the subject but Sammy pulled me into a half hug and whispered, “I’d kill for you too, Dean.”

That shouldn’t have been so reassuring to hear.

“So if I hadn’t shown up what would you being doing?”

Sammy shrugged, “Working… Or…. I might have gone to see this girl…”

I raised my eyebrows again and grinned, “Oh a girl huh? What’s her name? What’s she like?”

He smiled shyly and it was an odd picture.

My little brother, the demon, big leathery wings, curling black horns, black eyes, _blushing_ and _smiling_ over a girl.

Like we were normal. Like my bonded honey’s family wasn’t out to kill my brother. I liked this.

For a moment I wished we’d been born normal humans.

But then we wouldn’t be who we are now….

“He name is Jessica Moore. She’s smart, like smarter than me. She’s funny, always cracking jokes and making people smile. She’s blonde and her smile is so bright… And-“

He cleared his throat and looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“She is a demon too. But she’s no one big and important. She told me about the one deal she sealed and… It’s kinda sweet…”

I didn’t even know what to say. So I nodded slowly and asked, “What was that deal?”

Sammy grinned, “This deadbeat dad realized his life was shit and his daughter had cancer so he sold his soul for her health….”

Yeah…. That did sound kinda sweet. But I could see Sammy looked nervous. I was pretty sure I knew why too.

“I’m not upset that you like a demon. That would be hypocritical and stupid. I’m just happy that you’re happy….”

The look I got from my brother made me glad we could see each other as we were.

I could tell this was some sort of forgiveness thing. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to be forgiven for but now he was happy.

And I was just glad he wasn’t mad at me.

“Let’s go get some coffee! I’m sure Ruby won’t mind that I’m skipping a shift to hang out with you.”

I raised my hands in a defensive nope.

“Hey, I’m not getting in trouble and you’re not getting fired for skipping a shift to hang out _at work_.”

Sammy smiled darkly, “Dean… I am Lucifer’s son. I’m basically a Prince to them. I’ll make it up to her, but she won’t fire me for that.”

I nodded slowly then laughed humorlessly, “I’m sorry I kept this from you. I should have known better. I kept you from yourself. That must have been so awful. And you finding out didn’t hurt anyone or whatever. I should have let you grow up as you are. You’re a good person.”

And _damn_ I was _sappy_ today. When did _that_ happen? Maybe dealing with Cas and Jimmy, telling them how I really felt opened a door to sap town.

I really had to close that door.

Although seeing Sammy so happy his wings shook was good. But the way he watched my wings made me ask, “What?”

He looked down at his hands and cleared his throat a couple times.

“I’ve never…. Can I…. Touch your wings? Is-Is that weird or….?”

I shrugged, “Uhh…. I mean- It’s crazy personal. Occasionally sexual, but I’ve been assured that angel families groom each other without issues so…. Go for it.”

I extended all four wings and held my breath.

Hesitantly Sammy petted my left green wing and smiled. “Wow. They look like glass but they’re soft and warm…. That’s so cool. What does this feel like?” He asked, smoothing his hands over my feathers.

I made a face and titled my head from left to right and rested a hand on his knee while staring him in the eye.

“What are you doing?” He asked a little unnerved.

“That’s what it feels like. It’s not a totally normal touch. It’s bordering on too personal. But it’s not uncomfortable.” He made his ‘hm okay’ face and nodded.

“So what does it feel like to have your horns touched?” I asked slowly.

Sammy shook his head, “I don’t know. No one ever has. Do you wanna try? They’re warm like my hands.” He touched my hand for added effect.

I nodded slowly and slowly reached out and traced the shape of the curl.

He snorted and I jerked my hand back in worry.

He shook his head and rubbed his horn where I’d touched it. “That was like you described me touching your wing but it _tickled_ too!”

After a beat of silence he ran and I chased him, both of us laughing as I tried to tickle his horns and he evaded me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. The only place he feels safe right now is with his brother, or in a hiding place that isn't as safe as he originally thought. 
> 
> Good news for those who dislike James, I may have figured out a way to get him out of Dean's shit! Next time on *eagle noises* Dat Bird Boi Get Probs!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! Sorry this took so long. I've been working a lot of nights and then sleeping most of the day so this is the first time I've been awake in the day long enough to type this up!
> 
> Minor warning, a douche tries to slut shame and Dean handles it. There is crying upset people and choking.

We didn’t end up going to the coffee shop. We horsed around for an hour then got lunch at a bar near his apartment.

He told me about classes and teachers and co-workers and I told him about Hunts.

It was nice, relaxing even. So much so I _may_ have let my wings physically rest on the floor and accidentally tripped a waitress, who couldn’t see them.

I apologized at least four times for leaving my “coat” on the floor, she waved me off saying she should have been paying attention.

I felt bad but Sammy seemed to find it hilarious.

He didn’t out right laugh but he did keep his head down and smirked a lot.

When we were done eating and talking I hugged him and made him promise not to skip work anymore, “prince” or not.

He grumpily promised and I felt a weird tingle, “Dude, did you just make a deal out of that?” I asked vaguely concerned that I hadn’t noticed until it was done.

“Uh… No? Oh. _Oh_ ….. Ummm… Yeah I did. Sorry. But you don’t have to do anything. Don’t worry about it.”

He sounded way too calm about making deals without knowing.

“Sammy, you should keep an eye on that. What if you promise to do something weird or bad and then you’re stuck with it?”

He made a face, “Ugh, yeah… I see your point.”

We both took a deep breath, and shook our heads, making him smile.

“You be careful too, Dean.”

I nodded, “Sure thing, Sammy.”

 

Once I was home I realized Sammy hadn’t shut down the mental connection I’d made during lunch, so we could talk about certain things without being overheard.

It was just a base level connection now, so all I got from it was that he was happy. I sent some of my own happiness through to him and felt his surprise.

:How’d you _do_ that?:

I realized that I’d been communicating with Cas for years and he’d just started.

:Cas showed me. Want me to teach you all the Jedi Mind Tricks I know?:

Sammy sent back a tidal wave of excitement and I laughed, :Well done, my young padawan!:

He laughed then paused, :Hey, Dean? When was the last time you hung out with Jo?:

I frowned, :Umm…. That party for Ellen three months ago?:

I could feel him shake his head, :Yeah but you guys didn’t _actually_ talk or even hug. I think you should hang out with her soon.:

I nodded slowly trying  to think of where this was coming from.

:Yeah, okay…. I think I can swing by Ellen’s next week-:

Sammy’s fierce response made me wonder if I could teach him any mind tricks.

:NO!: His words seemed to freeze me and hold me still until he was done talking.

:Now! She needs _you NOW!:_

I opened my wings in readiness for flight, :I’m _going_! Is she okay?:

His lack of response threw me into motion.

I got to her faster than I’d ever flown before and froze the scene in front of me to figure out what was happening.

Jo was on her knees, face soaked in tears, expression begging and afraid.

An angry yelling man stood over her, his mind filled with a very familiar argument.

I searched the surface of my sister’s mind and was instantly furious.

I rested a hand on her right shoulder and hid my wings. I unfroze them and watched as Jo’s horrible boyfriend lurched back in surprise, while Jo jumped to her feet and hugged me tight.

“Dean! What are you- How did you…. What’s going on?”

I smiled gently, “Hey, Jo. Who’s this?”

We both looked at her horrible taste in men.

“His name is Timothy, Timmy, and he’s…. My boyfriend?” She almost _asked_ Timmy which made me want to kill him.

He gave her a nasty look and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, “Hiya, _Timmy_. I’m Dean, Jo’s big brother. Wanna tell me why my baby sister is crying?”

He curled his lip at us and snarled, “Brother? She’s an only child. I knew you were a _slut_. I bet-“

He couldn’t speak as I choked him with my mind.

“Timmy? Dean, what’s going _on_?”

I froze the asshole mid-choke and turned to focus on my sister. I wiped tears from her face and took a deep  breath.

“Okay this may not make sense but I am an angel. And I _know_ just from standing in the same room as this guy that he is horrible and treats you as less than you are. I took a glance at your thoughts and saw he’s mad at you for something that didn’t happen.”

She closed her eyes, “I know you’re an angel, Dean. Mom told me when I was a little kid. She knew Mary before you and Sammy were born. And she told Mom what the two of you were. But…. Why are you here?”

I blinked. She knows….

Later.

“Sammy told me you needed me.”

She laughed shortly and sighed, “Yeah. How do I fix this?”

I frowned and shook my head, “You don’t. He won’t believe you. And how are you supposed to prove you weren’t cheating? The best way to handle this is to let this end.”

She gave me a thoughtful look as I continued.

“Find someone who looks at you like you hung the damn moon. I mean come on, you’re 16, almost 17, you’ll find someone. This kid’s a douche.”

She made a face and cleared her throat. “Ah…. By the way, he thinks I’m almost his age….”

I paused and raised my eyebrows, “And…. How old is that?”

She made the same face Sammy made when he didn’t want to tell you something.

“Oh, you know….. 24?”

I unfroze him and continued choking him, “She’s _16_ , you _asshole_!”

He looked confused and scared. I decided to fix his stupid brain.

I pressed two fingers to his forehead and after a moment of focus he relaxed.

I stopped choking him.

He turned to Jo and shook his head, “I’m sorry, Joanna. I don’t think this is gunna work. Not even if you _were_ old enough.”

Then he left.

The following silence wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be.

“Wanna go get tacos?” Jo asked softly, a lost look on her face.

I nodded, “Wanna fly?” She jerked her head up, eyes wide.

“Yeah!”

 

When we were finished with our tacos Jo leaned on my shoulder. “I don’t even know if I hurt. Did… Did I even like him that much? Or was I just happy to be in a relationship?”

I shook my head, “That’s for you to figure out, kiddo.”

She looked up at me eyes narrowed, “Whatever happened to that Jimmy guy you used to date.”

I made an overdramatic groan. “He’s married now. He dumped me when he thought I was cheating on him. He’s a vessel for the angel Castiel…. Who I am currently kind of engaged to?”

I could feel Cas listening as Jo’s eyes got huge, “Wait, _what_? You’re _engaged_ and you didn’t tell me?!”

I made a non-committal noise.

“So who’d Jimmy lose his shit over?”

I sighed, “Cas. But we were just friends then! I swear. And…. Today he _finally_ said he believes I was faithful. You remember when he left me, right? Well _now_ he’s figuring out he was an ass.”

Jo was smirking, “Tell me about this Cas. Guy or girl? Pretty? What’re they like?”

I let out a long breath, “Cas is an angel, they don’t really have genders since they don’t have physical bodies. I’m the exception. Pretty doesn’t even cover it. Imagine…. Imagine _every_ shade of blue you’ve _ever_ seen and _then_ some. Their wings are Blue and Black and Silver. They’ve got six wings, three sets of two. Their voice is like…. Slow and smooth like distant rumbly thunder and honey. All three of their faces are so… perfect. And when they hold me in their arms it’s home. Like any angel they’ve got eyes everywhere, down their wings and… They’re the best.”

The silence stretched and I glanced down to see Jo grinning. “Damn, Dean. That’s awesome. I can see why you wanna be with them forever.”

I sighed happily as Cas sent love through the bond.

“It may actually be forever…. I get the feeling I won’t really age and die like humans. I mean I…. I think if I just concentrated I could freeze my body…. But I don’t wanna be 22 forever you know?”

She nodded, “So what’s an angel engagement like? How’re you going to be married? Can I come to your wedding?”

I sent the questions to Cas and felt them laugh. The answers appeared in my head, and I sent back a playful shove.

“Okay so engagement is a lose term for ‘are you sure’ period. You can come to our wedding if you like but you won’t be able to understand anyone of look at them, since everyone there will be an angel and you’d be blinded and deafened by them. But basically they Archangels tie our graces together.”

She giggled, “So I can’t go to your wedding, but will there be an after party?”

I shrugged, “Sure, nothing crazy though. Just food and stuff.”

She shrugged back, “That’s cool.”

I was glad she couldn’t go as well as sad. But as much as I wanted my family there, I sure as shit didn’t want them to see me and Cas ‘occupying them same space’.

:Cas, does that mean what I think it does?: I asked slowly hoping I was wrong.

:Yes and no. We don’t have to have sex but merging will probably bring you to orgasm…. Or something.:

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, :Well that’s gunna scar me for life.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any Markiplier fans here? I wrote a Mark fic....... it's just smut but hey check it out! 
> 
> So who dressed up today(halloween) and what did you dress up as?


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update just a note

Hello.

First off I wanna appologize. I want to update more. I really do. But I hit a bit off a wall here. I know where I want this to go but I need to work out how to get it there. So, Until further notice this Fic is on hiatus. I will try to figure out what I'm going to do and write as much as I can before I start updating again. 

I would also like to thank those of you who have commented, I love talking to you guys. Truely I do. I appreciate every comment be it one word or a paragraph. Be it a simple short exchange or a full blown conversation. I like talking with you. I like hearing from you.

If you are a fan of sin..... And Markiplier..... Then I am still posting, rather frequently in fact. Since what I post there is short and nearly plotless it makes it easy to write. It's like a break on the middle of a long run. And I love what I write. I do! But sometimes I just need to write smut and come up with stupid plots.

But if you should have some ideas or requests for fics, please let me know! I'd love to hear them and possibly write you a short something!

So! If ever any of you wonderful people wish to speak to me (about anything) Feel free to either find me on tumblr at Imgoingtothespecialhell dot tumblr dot com

or you can comment on this chapter. 


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